Alright, I've had it. I really don't think I should have to do this, but people in general are just so fucking stupid.

So, in Minnesota, we are having what meteorologists like to call a "blizzard." This is when it's heavily snowing, with a lot of wind. I shouldn't have to tell you that there's SNOW and ICE on the road. This is Minne-FUCKING-sota for fucks sake.

In case you do not know, SNOW and ICE are SLIPPERY when you are DRIVING.

SO. That means, you don't drive very fast and you don't tailgate. I was driving home from work, and I was going about 40-45 in the 65. The roads are BAD. I didn't even feel safe going THAT slow! Plus, the wind is blowing like a son of a bitch and I have an '05 Focus, so my car is not very heavy at all. It's actually quite light. So there's people barreling past me and tailgating...which, the tailgating is REALLY fucking stupid because if I lose control of my car, you're FUCKED. You're goin down with me!

So anyway, when I'm a few miles from home yet, there's a 4 or 5 car pile up. HA fucking HA, you retards.

So in light of recent events, I am re-posting this Minnesota Winter Driving 101 that I wrote last year. Which, this doesn't just apply to Minnesota...you can use this anywhere it snows!!!

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Minnesota Winter Driving 101

1. Make sure you have your Winter Driving Kit: a blanket or two, a small shovel, warm gloves, some gravel or cat litter, a flashlight, a snow and ice scraper, snack foods (ie trail mix), and I suggest bringing a bottle of water with you. Don't leave it in the car, it will freeze. You never know how long until you get "rescued" from your car breaking down. A lot of times, you may be able to dig yourself out if you go in the ditch. Hence, the shovel. Gravel or kitty litter helps if your tires get stuck. Also, don't just spin your tires. It creates a bigger rut. Try going in forward, then reverse, then forward.

2. Leave proper distance between you and the car in front of you. I see this every year, and it's people being stupid. It doesn't matter if you have brand new tires or 4 wheel drive. There's is no car or truck or anything that's completely winter-proof. You still need to be able to brake people!! If you stomp on the brakes because you're being an idiot and following too close, you'll slide or go into a spin.

3. NEVER stomp on the brakes. See above.

4. Make sure your tires are properly inflated and have good tread. If money is a problem, buy 2 used tires with reasonable tread. Most cars are front wheel drive. Rotate your tires so the old front tires go in the back, and put your "new" tires in the front. Or vice versa if you have rear wheel drive. This helps with traction and braking, but you still need to leave enough room to brake slowly.

5. If the roads are slippery, you are entitled to slow down before the turn lane. If the roads are dry, slowing down before the turn lane is completely unacceptable.

6. Make sure you have plenty of windshield washer fluid. The roads are slippery. The snow plows use salt. Salt leaves residue on your windshield. You need to use this fluid frequently in order to see.

7. Leave early if it's snowing. The roads will be bad. Guaranteed.

8. Make sure you have a cell phone. Even if it's just a stupid little prepaid one, it'll help you call 911 in an emergency.

9. Use your headlights. People need to be able to see you when it's snowing. It doesn't matter if you have a dark car.

10. It's actually quite easy to counteract a spin. All you have to do is turn your steering wheel in the opposite direction your car is spinning. Go to an empty parking lot, make sure there are no cops around you, and practice. It will soon become second nature and you will instinctually be able to get yourself out of a spin. But, if you paid attention to rule # 2, you will not need this rule. It's still safe to know it though. Also, go slow on turns/curves. Never brake on a curve, and never accelerate on a curve.

11. Bridges and enter/exit ramps are ALWAYS more slippery than the regular roads. Use caution.

12. Allow people to MERGE when they are entering/exiting the freeway.

13. If you have anti-lock brakes, DO NOT let up on the brake if you go into a slid.

14. Never make any sudden movements with the steering wheel. This will cause your car to go into a spin or slide.

15. If you break any of these rules, I will shove your car up your ass. Have a nice day!

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SOOOOOO......guess who got home safe and without incident?

DING DING DING!!!

That's right! ME! ANNNND...guess who DIDN'T get home safe and without incident?

DING DING DING!!!

That's right! The people who were going too fast and tailgating in a BLIZZARD! (This is not at all directed towards a fellow Xangan who got into a car accident earlier today...thankfully she's okay)

(Also note the heavy sarcasm directed to the idiots of the winter road)

News update on the HUNDREDS of crashes in the metro...

This is a little something I've been working on. I started it a while back, a couple months ago. Before you start reading, this is a work of fiction ;)

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I sit there with my coffee and steamed milk and he sits across from me drumming his fingers on the table to a sad beat in his mind. I don't look and him and he does not look at me. The groggy sun starts making her way into the kitchen, invading. Fog still sits on the grass and flowers, dew forming on delicate petals and blades.

"I'm sorry," he begins, his voice reverberating. The sentence intrudes the silence, making my heart thrum and skip beats. I wait for him to finish, trying to wish away the tension in the air. His breath falters and I know he feels it too.

He does not speak as he rises from the chair. He does not kiss me. No hug, no pat on the head. We both know. We knew it would come to this. He was diving to the depths of the ocean, twisting, swimming, searching. I flounder. I drown. I am not it. I never had been.

I hear his footsteps moving away from me. I hear the smooth woosh and click of the door. I hear the ticking of the clock. Ticking, ticking, always ticking. Seconds pass. Minutes. I hear the ticking. I am alone. It is deafening.



When I awake, I am not awake. I am dreaming. He did not leave me. We are happy. We are planning our wedding.

I get up from the table. My joints ache from sleeping slumped over the kitchen table. The caramel colored coffee is cold. I dump it out in the sink. I should have had it black today. Bitter. I make my way to the bedroom. I do not feel like writing today. I want to crawl into bed and sleep forever.

I walk to the closet, open the door. His side is empty. His neatly hung clothes, shining shoes, slick ties, ironed dress shirts. Gone. All of it. Everything. Had he ever been there at all? I leave the door open and turn to face the bed.

The we had shared for five years.

On his side of the bed on the matching nightstand is one item. It looks out of place, that item. It shines there. I know it is real now.

His engagement ring.

In all its splendor.

I am not dreaming. This is not a horrible nightmare. I am awake. I do not cry. I do not open the nightstand drawer and toss the ring inside. I feel empty, hollow. I grab the comforter, drag it across the carpet. I slunk down the stairs and flop down on the couch. Now that I am here, I don't know what to do.

I turn the TV on, the mindless chatter from some court show is static in the background. My head rests upon a pillow. It is soft and cuddly. I feel anything but.

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Sooo, what do you guys think? And don't worry, I'll be working on visiting your sites again =] I got a bunch done last night....

I've discovered the reason for my sadness.



I am a beached whale.
I say I don't care about other peoples' weight.
I care about mine.
I weigh 206 pounds.
I want to never eat again.
I want to waste away until I am nothing.
I want to cut myself into ribbons.
I want to do any drug that lets me forget who I am.
I hate me.

Soooo the limo picked us up at 5:30, and we went to the Capital Grille. My dad, my sister and I went. I ordered 26 oz steak, Porterhouse, that cost $45. The wine was about $9, and I had 2 glasses. The potatoes were $9, and like $8 for cheesecake. I'm stuffed with leftover food.

My dad is a shipping supervisor, and the companies he uses give him perks all the time to keep his business. This one company gives him dinner vouchers for this restaurant and the company limo for the night. I had 3 free cocktails in the limo (grey goose and sprite) in the limo on the way there, 2 glasses of wine in the restaurant, and 1 free drink in the limo on the way home.

I'm frickin full man.

Good times.

Anyway, like I said earlier today, if you say it's okay, I will go to your site and drop comments all over. I won't be able to read the whole post, but I will comment on what I did read. I'm trying to get more credits so I can buy more premium =]

I'll go to everyone's site tomorrow and drop comments. Love you all =]

I had to.

I had to buy a month of premium with credits instead of 6 months. I didn't earn enough. =[

Ugh I'm such a loser.

It's not my fault....working second shift doesn't work well with blogging.

Well, soon I'll be on first shift, so that will change...

Also, from now on, every post will have [a #] in the title, which is counting down to the number of posts left until I hit 1,000. :D

OOOOO cold beer, it hits the spot!

I have a shopping addiction.

It's like alcoholism. How dare you compare shopping too much to alcoholism? you say, outraged.

Well, let me show you.

I need some shampoo and conditioner, some razor heads, so I go to Target. I pass by the movies. Is that..? Oh, I've been waiting to see that! I pick it up. Read the back. Put it down put it down put it down put it down. You don't need this!! I scream at myself (in my head, of course). I can't breathe. Somehow my respiratory system seems to think that I will not live if I do not buy this movie. I stand and stare at it for minutes before I move on with heavy feet. The breathing thing does not get easier. In fact, it worsens as I stare at more movies. I see favorites that have come down in price. I get to the CD's.

Oh! I didn't know [insert musician name here]'s new CD was out! I pick it up and look at the track listings. Put it down put it down put it down put it down put it down!!! I still can't breathe.

I get to the books.

OHMIGOD I didn't know this book was out! I HAVE to get it. I throw it in the cart without thinking. The breathing gets no better. Even when I buy something, I still can't breathe for a long time after I leave the store.

Why do I think I need these things? It doesn't matter what it is. As long as I see it and want it, but resist temptation, I have a panic attack. Why? I know I do not need these things. Books, movies, video games, jewelry, perfume (I have over 20 bottles, almost 30). One of my biggest problems is clothes.

I buy clothes that don't fit me right all the time. Because I say, When I lose weight, this is going to look great on me! Well, I never lose weight, so I end up with all kinds of clothes I never wear. I have to give them away. Then shoes. I have about 20 pairs of shoes. About 10 or so purses. I have a huge case full of makeup.

When I'm driving and I pass a store, I get a huge urge to stop and shop. When I don't give in, I have a panic attack. I can't breathe and my chest tightens.

I'm 23 years old. I have steadily been working a full time job for over 5 years. The last 2 years I've been making damn good money for someone my age. So I should have tons of money in savings, right? WRONG. I'm 23, and I have absolutely NO savings. Whatsoever. I struggle to pay my bills now because I've maxed out my 3 credit cards.

This all fits into the holiday shopping season because it's the worst time for me for this problem. When I see sales normally I get very excited and I feel like I need to buy tons of stuff just because it's on sale. I feel guilty because during this time I shop more for myself than I do for my family. Because I can get good deals on things that I want.

On Black Friday, I went to 2 stores. I went to Best Buy and bought Saw, Saw II, Entourage seasons 1 and 2, and Curb Your Enthusiasm season 2. Out of those 5 items, 4 were for myself. I bought Curb for my father. Then I went to Bath and Body Works and they had buy 3 get 3 free. So I bought 6 scents of lotions, and I chose them all according to what I like, because I wanted to keep them all. I've decided that I will use those as my gifts to my sisters and mother.

I went to Kohl's today and saw all kinds of things on clearance and sales. I wanted to buy everything. I walked away only spending $20, which is pretty damn good for me.

Lately I've been doing better, as in the last few months, but this holiday shopping season is a bastard. Now my panic attacks have been getting worse the longer I don't go on a shopping spree.

I hate how this makes me feel. It's terrible, it's terrifying, it makes me feel guilty and it makes me hate myself.

Should I start a fitness blog? This would NOT be a thinspo blog!!!! This would be a blog where I record exactly what I eat and drink everyday, what exercises I do (IF I do any), my weight and any gain/loss...in order to get myself healthier. There would be NO thinspo photos involved. What do you think?

Sorry about the absense folks, I was spending some fam time these last few days!!

On Thursday I had 2 Thanksgiving dinners! The first place I went to was my grandma's on my dad's side. The whole family was there! My grandma and grandpa, my dad and sister, uncle #1 with his wife and kids, uncle #2 with his wife and kids, and my aunt with her husband and kid. We got there at about noon...It was a pretty decent time. Some drama went down though... My cousin turns 20 in about a week, she lives with her boyfriend she's had since the summer, and she's pregnant. Oh em gee. I don't think it's a good thing because for one thing, her boyfriend looks like he's on drugs and he looks like the kind of guy that will leave her. After her and her boyfriend left, everyone sat talking about it for a while. The entire family isn't happy about it. I mean, we don't think she's thinking this through. It's expensive having a baby!! Plus her boyfriend looks pretty skeezy....she's going to end up a single young mother, and I think she's better than that. Anyway, we left a little after 4.

The second place I went to was my grandpa's house on my mom's side. I got there about 5:30. I met my sister's new boyfriend, he seems decent. There wasn't much drama here, surprisingly. There was A LOT of food left over!! I saw one of my twin cousins I never get to see and his girlfriend. It was the first time I had seen my grandpa in 4 years, and the first time I had seen his wife in about 10 years or so. They had been living in New York (not City), and they just moved back not that long ago. I ate WAY too much on Thursday...I felt like I was going to burst! It's family tradition that we play Pictionary, and my aunt brought a new game, Catch Phrase. Fun!!!

Then Friday I got my Christmas shopping done. I might buy some extra odds and ends here and there, but for the most part, I'm done!! Woohoo. I love Bath and Body Works...they had the buy 3 get 3.

Saturday I went to my grandma's on my mom's side. Not a lot of drama...just a little bit. Like an idiot, I went out to see the horses even though I know I'm allergic =[ My eyes got itchy and my nose started getting stuffy. I didn't touch my eyes, even though I wanted to rub them SO badly. Then Saturday night my sister spent the night at my house and she spent most of yesterday with me. I met with my step dad last night and I dropped my sister off.

And now here I am, working second shift again. For this week. After this week, the next 2 weeks I work a split shift. Then for Christmas I have 11 days off then when we come back in January, I will be working first shift again for good! Whew it's all messed up. I hope everyone's Thanksgiving went well!!! (And I hope no one ate as much as I did!!!!)