Yes, I’ve talked about boobs and sex and masturbating quite a bit in my time here, and it’s not done yet!! Yesterday there was a talk about masturbating on a facebook status of mine (yes, about masturbating…while driving!) So @TheTheologiansCafe said I should post something on Xanga about this topic, since he was (briefly) a part of the conversation in that thread.

My question is, have you ever been caught masturbating? What happened? Were you embarrassed? Who was it?

I *almost* was once. I’m normally pretty careful about masturbating, since I’ve lived with family. Quite a few years ago, I was watching some porn (lesbian!) and had my toy out. I hadn’t actually done anything yet when one of my sisters knocked on my door and entered without waiting for an answer! I was quick enough to hide my toy under the covers, but didn’t have enough time to turn off the porn. Well, she never entered without waiting for an answer again!! Lmao!!

So now that you know my humiliating story, you should share yours

Some of us who create things are giving a portion of our sales to help Xanga. I’ve been working on business stuff all day, and haven’t had a chance to connect with them further, but I’m going to write a quick blog about it before I relax in bed for the evening and then pass out.

I created a candle called Frontpage Worthy of Trolls (I can’t take credit for the name!!) and I’ve listed on my Etsy. 50% of the sale of this candle will be donated to saving Xanga, as well as 10% of all OTHER orders. I’ve raised the price for this one candle from $5 to $6, simply so that I don’t lose any money on the sale, and also to help Xanga more. All other candles and products will remain the same price, it’s important to note. To view the description of the candle, please visit the Etsy listing: https://www.etsy.com/listing/152930839/frontpage-worthy-of-trolls-4oz-soy

I also listed 8 additional items today, and you can visit the Etsy page to see those: https://www.etsy.com/shop/crazy2love

I am exhausted, lack of sleep the entire weekend, but I’m totally not complaining, I had a very fun time….because I met my FOURTH Xangan!!!!! See, we can’t let this place die!!! It’s too important!! Going to relax and pass out now…please rec and share on your FB to spread the word

<3

I have a ton of things that I need to do, but I’m going to write this anyway. I need to go to the gym, do laundry, go to Target and get organization items for my new desk, and clean and organize my room. Then I have a family BBQ and one of my best friends is coming up to visit..so I’m going to have to write this real quick, and then hop off to do other things, I’ll check in later, maybe tomorrow

When I started Xanga 9.5 years ago, it was a very dark time in my life. My mom was abusing drugs and alcohol and abusing us (usually not physically, but the mental and emotional abuse was enough) and then I started remembering things that had happened to me as a child (if you’ve known me long enough, you know what I’m talking about). After high school, I abandoned Xanga. I didn’t have many friends here, but I had met this incredible person who helped me through a lot. Every time I needed to be talked down from suicide, he was around. I cannot ever thank him enough.

Throughout the years, I’ve come and gone from Xanga. In the beginning, I was unknown to most. What catapulted me into the public eye here was a post I wrote about tagging fellow Xangans. I took the names of all the popular Xangans of the time, and wrote a facetious post about tagging, and tagged them all. Yes, I remember this. I started making a lot of new friends, some have come and gone, and some have helped me through very trying times. I’ve blogged about very personal memories and events, and got support that I never even dreamed of. How amazing are these people? I’ve gotten the nicest comments and messages with encouragement to stay strong, that I am strong. I’ve inspired people with my strength. I’ve given just as much love and support as I’ve gotten. Xanga has helped me learn and grow as a person. I’ve left for a while, and come back, off and on throughout the years. This is my safe haven. This is my little corner to say what’s on my mind. Free from the eyes of the people I know in real life.

How can you tell me this is just another social media site? How can you compare this to WordPress, where you may get an obscure comment that’s impersonal? To Tumblr, where you just reblog pretty pictures? Sure, Tumblr is certainly addicting, I’ve spent many hours there. However, it’s nothing like the community of Xanga. How can you compare this to any kind of social media? It’s more than that! How can you justify these comments? How could you possibly?

I always thought Xanga would be here for me. How could it disappear? How could it break up with me after nearly 10 years? My soul is here, in these posts. My blood and tears. My secrets, away from prying eyes. If you think Xanga is nothing more than just social media, you might not belong here.

Also, add me on Facebook!!! Okay, I need to get ready to leave…

Well, part of the reason. I realized that I want no part of socialized health care. The health care industry is so fucked up already, and the government isn’t going to make it any better. I don’t want the government making choices for me about being a therapist. Maybe if I can figure out a way to be an agorist therapist..that would be awesome. Also, having my own little internet business would enable me to do what I would love the most: being a stay at home mom…when/if that ever happens…

Speaking of, I have a couple new limited editions made: Hey, Sexy Lady, which is actually Sex on the Beach, and smells as such, with fresh peaches, oranges, and spiced cranberry. It smells divine. I have four 4oz jars and two 2oz jars. And then, the sexiest candle I’ve ever smelled in my life: Honey and Chocolate. Raw honey, cocoa butter, and chocolate. I have never…I am in love with this candle..and I only have TWO 4oz jars left, so you better snap them up if you want them!! Rings of Rainbows is back in the shop, as well. It’s going to be probably another month until my website is ready, so I have a sad panda. I don’t want to list anything on Etsy if I don’t have to, so if anyone wants to just use PayPal or Bitcoin, that’s good with me! I just don’t want to pay for every listing anymore, because I’ve paid ridiculous amounts of money for listing fees. So, just let me know if you want either of these two scents!! They’re both fabulous And of course, you can always visit the shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/crazy2love

Also, flash sale for today only: Use SAVORY10 to get 25% off your order!

I know I JUST wrote a post, but I want to take a poll of sorts.

Is sex reserved for just love? Or can one have sex without love? Is it a problem if someone has a string of one night stands? Is there a line between hollow sex without emotion of the person, and if you are interested in the person, but not in love?

I would be interested in hearing your thoughts..

I personally think that there’s something wrong if someone has sex without at least interest in something more. Sex isn’t sacred, but it is very intimate, sharing a part of yourself that not everyone should see. I don’t think there has to be love, exactly..but something more than just “I just met you so let’s fuck.”

So, on my weight loss journey, I’ve had 2 pops in something like 11 days..I really have no idea how many days. I’ve been eating healthier, with Skinny Taste as my inspiration for healthy recipes. So far, my absolute favorite is the zesty avocado cilantro dressing that I’ve made for chicken. I also like the Skinny Green Monster Smoothie..my first green smoothie!! Delicious! I tried the open faced tuna salad, not really a fan. I am a fan of everything avocado though!! Freaking delicious! I’ve lost 6 pounds thus far…and I’m excited to keep on going! Getting a gym membership soon…any suggestions for a work out playlist??

Also, there’s only tonight and tomorrow to enter April’s giveaway!! Make any purchase and be entered into the contest!! The prize is a piece of jewelry of the winner’s choice from @LKJSlain!! So go, go, free jewelry! https://www.etsy.com/shop/crazy2love

Also, masturbating every day is supposed to make one happier in one’s life. Jus sayin.

To the withdrawals!! I’ve made it on the other side, whole, and feeling wonderful. I’ve had my first green smoothie, and I’ve been cooking and making all kinds of delicious foods. I’m also happy..because for reasons.

Right now I’m writing a short story BDSM erotica. It’s going well! I just need a safe word to use in the story, and that’s what I’m stuck on

Also, has anyone seen Hemlock Grove on Netflix? The entire first season? Amazing. I want to talk about it with someone!! Gahhhh it blew my mind…the last two episodes I literally sat there with my mouth open because I was so shocked and enthralled.

Hope everyone is well. I’m going to write a little more, read a bit, and then get to bed <3

Why in the hell am I putting myself through this? This is day 2 of no caffeine, and day 3 of no pop. I have never forced myself to quit all caffeine like this, and it’s horrible. This crash from lack of caffeine is making me SO freaking tired and disoriented. I’m not doing well at work because I feel exhausted, and I just woke up from a 2 hour nap. I still feel tired, and I’m fighting sleeping more. I want to read, but I don’t know if I can concentrate. I’ve had more water to drink in the last 72 hours than any other 72 hour period in my life. The worst thing I’ve had to drink is orange juice.

I’m trying to eat healthier. If I could, I would drink coffee straight up, but I don’t like the taste, I think it’s disgusting. I have to sweeten it. I can tolerate some teas, but I’m trying to just kick caffeine altogether. Probably the healthiest thing to do. But goddamn, am I miserable right now. I keep wanting to cave, and have just one pop..but I’m not. I keep wondering when this withdrawl period will be over.

Okay, done whining about my shit. I think I’m going to read now.

I think we should make this happen. Everyone grab some booze and get on camera on TinyChat and act like retards. I approve of this message…

It’s been an up and down day. Started out horrible, started getting better. I was trying really hard not to cry at work. I feel betrayed by a couple of people :/

I finally put some music on my phone, because I’m sick of streaming from Pandora and hearing the KIND of music I want to listen to but not the exact songs. This is also the first time I’ve been on my computer in days, and my battery is dying. But I was looking over a whole bunch of the music I have, and I get nostalgic about music I haven’t listened to in a long time, like Emily by From First to Last. Speaking of music, I went to a metal concert on Saturday night. It was a good time, and I got drunk and stayed up until something like 5:30am The first opening band was pretty awesome, and made me miss my darker side. The lead singer had a great stage presence for maintaining the creepy vibe of the band..with a creepy, maniac smile. They played a cover of Every Breath You Take, and I somehow found it sexy in a dark way, that the words found themselves in a dark corner of the bar, on the verge of being stalkerish in a cool way. Maybe what I’m saying doesn’t make much sense, but maybe they do if you’re a little dark like me. Or, maybe I’m a little twisted…I don’t know. I find some creepy things like that sexy sometimes.

So. I have a lot that I want to say..but not yet, haha. Just that..hmm. Getting to know someone more is a welcome change in my life, and we’ll see where it goes..

Listening to the soundtrack to Repo! The Genetic Opera. LOVES. Anyway….my website will hopefully be up and running soon!!!! SUPER EXCITED!!!! I’ll post it when I have it all set up XD

I hope all of you are well..I would stick around, but my computer is about to die and I’m too lazy to get up and plug it in, haha.