February 24, 2013
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I hate having break downs
The last few days were really rough for me, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I reached a breaking point. I’ve been really stressed about many things, and my business is one of them. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed because I’m constantly working. I get home from working 8 hours at my 8-4:30 job, then I jump right into working on my business. Well, I might use the restroom first, lol, but from the time I get home, I’m working pretty much constantly. That’s why I haven’t been around Xanga much. It’s really tough to market and get the word out about my product, and I spend a lot of time on it. I also spend a lot of time interacting with my customers and keeping a good relationship with them, because that’s important.
So that’s just one thing I’ve been stressed about, because I want my business to grow and be successful. I honestly would have given up this fight if it wasn’t for the feedback that I get from everyone. Everyone who has bought candles from me tells me how much they love their order, and they can’t wait to get more. It’s that kind of feedback that feels so great, and lets me know that I’m doing the right thing, and that I’m moving in the right direction.
There are other things that have been stressing me out, but I don’t really want to talk about it. But yesterday I had a break down, and I knew it was coming. The way I had been feeling in the previous days leading up to it was a for sure sign that things were going to get ugly at some point…and that point was yesterday. I was so exhausted, I didn’t want to get out of bed. I mostly didn’t..only to go to dinner with my sister and her boyfriend, which I wasn’t in the mood for, but I went anyway. I wish I could have eaten more than I did..but oh well. I spent a lot of the day trying not to cry, and crying, and sleeping. At one point I had a panic attack, and I didn’t breathe for about 20 seconds..and I didn’t even gasp for breath. But I thought, ‘what if I just stop breathing?’ The reason behind this break down is only partially because of the stress with my business and being so busy..but most of it is for a reason I can’t talk about. So anyway. I slept a lot yesterday, cried a lot yesterday..and then I stayed up until 2:30 in the morning texting my sister about a lot of things.
So anyway. I don’t really know how I’m feeling this morning. Kind of indifferent, I suppose. I don’t really feel much of anything. I still don’t want to do anything. I would rather play video games all day…which I might do. I’ve been up for nearly three hours, not really doing much of anything, thinking about what I would like to do today..whilst it’s starting to waste away right in front of my face. As I was breaking down yesterday, I was texting a friend about all of this, and she knows what’s going on, and she wanted to come over today and help me with some things for my business..because I’m doing it all on my own..and she texted me a while ago and said she wasn’t going to be able to make it. Which is fine…I don’t blame her because it’s a long drive for her..an hour and a half one way. Whenever I drive to that area, I usually try and stay the night somewhere because I hate driving 3 hours in one day. And her dad is a truck driver and he’s home for the first time in a long time so she wanted to spend some time with him.
But anyway, I promised that when the podcast of the radio show talking about my candles was available, I would share the link….and here it is
https://soundcloud.com/freetalklive/ftl2013-02-18Mark and Ian start talking about Savory Scents at about 1:01:30, or something like that. They have some very nice things to say
Also, some lovely ladies have done some awesome reviews for me as well
http://sassypaints2012.blogspot.com/2013/02/savory-scents-pumpkin-souffle-candle.html
http://www.kimberslacquerkorner.com/2013/02/npr-savory-scents-candles.html
http://wonderlandbeautyblog.blogspot.com/2013/02/review-savory-scents-hansel-gretels.html
So, I don’t know what I’m going to do right now…maybe play some video games? Not sure…but it probably won’t be anything constructive. Maybe I need another day to relax and give myself some time off.
Comments (9)
I know how you feel. I would have full on meltdowns at work but I try to contain them to the stockroom in order to not scare the customers. Most of that stress was work related but I’m trying to manage my emotions better. If I feel something coming on I will sit in a dark room focus on my breathing and sip my tea.
Video games had always been an outlet for stress relief since I was kid. I bottled all my emotions up so the only time I would release them was when I was playing.
Hang in there, dear.
Perhaps you could reserve a few days for which you don’t work on your small business?
I had a bit of a breakdown myself recently…quite a rare thing for me. A few times a year, if even. Lots going on…but it seems that shortly after those moments happen, I seem to stop being all worked up about everything that got me to that breaking point and think more positively and notice the little things more and then get right back up on my feet again. Just a pattern I recently noticed about myself. It’s like the universe can knock me down as many times as it wants, but it sure as hell can’t keep me there, or keep me from getting right back up again!
So hang in there and keep at it! Persistence and perseverance is key!
Hang in there. I know you must be under a lot of stress with everything. If it helps at all, I think you’re doing a fine job with Savory Scents. Just keep going, you’ll find the strength somewhere
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As rough as that kind of thing is, I do hope you see it as being preferable to where you were a little while ago. Being highly overworked sucks, but not having a job at all is even worse. I think it’s a sign that things are improving.
You’re certainly doing better with your candle store than I am… I haven’t done a damn thing with mine in months. I’ve been feeling really guilty about it, which is kind of silly, I guess, because this is a self-assigned project. Maybe when Spring comes, I’ll be able to do better.
But anyway, this is about you, not me.
Please hang in there. And if you can afford to see a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist, you might want to look into meds. They make a world of difference for me (and a lot of other people as well, of course), so they might be helpful for you as well.
Hang in there. You’re a strong person. I know you can get thru this.
Your candles look so good, I know the secret santa one I sent absolutely loved them! I wish you were in Australia, I would buy more from you if that was the case
Hope you feel better soon! At least you’re working hard for yourself and you have direction in your life 
A pregnancy scare?
One thing I see if your trying to hard. Remember you can’t get it all done in one day. What you need to do each day my dear, is pencil in some time for you. Where you do just what you want too do. This way you will be refreshed and you will unwind and not be stressed out. Your just trying to do way more than you can handle in one day. And it takes time for a business too do well. Just don’t try to do it all at once and that is the way I see you trying to do it.. Slow down, your moving too fast. Is part of a song. You will make it. Have a great day. Bro. Doc
Hang in there. It gets better.