Cramps are NOT listed as a side effect on my birth control, but I’m pretty goddamn sure it does make me have cramps. Every single time I start taking my birth control pills, I get cramps. And it’s obviously not time for my period yet. UGH. I’m going to lay down and watch a movie…

..if I’m doing the right thing. In more than one area of my life. I love making candles and creating them and experimenting. But it’s hard to sell them. I don’t know why..especially since everyone who’s gotten one (or more) absolutely loves them, and raves about them. That they smell fantastic and burn nicely. And many are repeat customers.

But it seems like it ends there. I feel stuck, that I can’t go any further. I have over $500 in inventory. I have to somehow come up with $400 for rent. I have a car that’s about to get repossessed, at some point. I’ve tried promotional contests. I’ve tried extending my customer base. I don’t know if I’ll give up or not. Why do people give up on their dreams? Because at some point, it just feels very hopeless. I’m not sure what else I can do.

I don’t think I’ll give up..but I certainly feel extremely discouraged. I’m sure it’s a common feeling when one tries to do their own business and it feels like it’s failing and you don’t know how you’re going to get your next meal…but I hate feeling this way. I’m going to my dad’s for the weekend, and I’m not sure how I’m going to eat. I made $90 this week working 9 hours, but I HAVE to use ALL of it on rent. And, about $30 in gas. So, $60 of the $400 I need. I just need $340 more..awesome.

Sometimes I feel like it would be better if I wasn’t even here…if I didn’t exist.

It’s the last day to get 35% off, just so you know…and get them by Christmas! HOLIDAY2012 at checkout…

I’m just so tired of being here. I want to be home..so bad you don’t even know. I’m going to apply for more jobs today..I want something, now. And I don’t know how I’m going to make rent this month. Pawn my computer, maybe? I don’t know. It would help if some more people bought some candles for Christmas gifts, or for themselves. There’s not many Cotton Candy or Dragon’s Blood left..so if you want those, you might want to grab them.

Scent List:

Hazelnut Coffee: A rich, full bodied aroma accompanied by the buttery appeal of freshly roasted European hazelnuts and a touch of indulgent cream

Spring Rain: Clean refreshing blend with light fruity tones enhanced with hints of florals and spices SOLD OUT

Cotton Candy: Sugary strawberry and sweet vanilla notes ALMOST SOLD OUT

Pumpkin Souffle: A rich pumpkin flavor blended with fresh nutmeg, cinnamon, creamy caramel and toasted vanilla

Cotton Bouquet: A sweet floral with jasmine, violets, and lavendar with a smooth woody background

Monkey Farts: Vanilla base notes support mid notes of kiwi, strawberries and bubble gum, with top notes of juicy grapefruit and fresh bananas

Pina Colada: A green floral bouquet reminiscent of coconut and fruity topnotes with a sweet musky background

Hansel & Gretel’s House: A rich base of cocoa and vanilla bean supports mid notes of nutmeg, honey, ginger and clove with top notes of lemon and orange

Hollyberry: Cinnamon and clove sweetened with vanilla and orange peels

Butternut Pumpkin: A blend of butternut squash, pumpkin puree, cinnamon, clove and vanilla

Autumn Harvest: Nice fall blend of orange, grapefruit, and clove

Asian Amber: A calming yet potent tincture of earthy amber and exotic Asian herbs

Dragon’s Blood: An earthy fragrance infused with cedarwood, orange and patchouli essential oils. The scent combines sweet and spicy notes to form a sophisticated complex blend ALMOST SOLD OUT

French Vanilla: Vanilla beans and tonka beans with a touch of butter and nuts

ETSY

I also need to do a review of @WhiskeyStilettos nail polish, because it’s AMAZING!!

I just wanted to say thank you to all of my Xanga friends out there. Some of us have gotten quite close, and I truly appreciate the friendships I’ve made here. They all mean a lot to me, and so many of you have helped me through so much, and really been there for me. I know I can be a downer with all the shit I go through sometimes, but you can tell when there’s a real friend on the other side, who will listen and offer support. I love all of you, but especially those of you who have helped me through a rough patch, either recently or in the past.

There’s not really much of a need to say this, but the last few weeks have been stressful, hellish, and a real roller coaster. I hear bad news, then I hear good news. Then more bad news… I don’t think we need to go through the highs and the lows.. But there are have been times I can barely breathe and can’t sleep. There have been other insomniacs that have helped me through the really bad times, by just talking with me..either listening or distracting me altogether. I’m finally sleeping okay, better than I have been. I just to go sleep later than a lot of other people, lol. I’m really thankful to have such wonderful people in my life, and I honestly don’t know what I would do without you guys. You’re all beautiful people, inside and out.

I just felt like I should express this, because I truly appreciate everything that everyone has done for me. It feels good to have a support system, where someone will be there and I don’t have to feel alone, because I’m not. I really love my friends, because they are the best.

In no particular order…

@LKJSlain: Words can’t even say how much I appreciate your friendship and how much it means to me. I know you’re going through a hard time too, and I hope things get better soon <3

@Marica0701: You’re so awesome and gorgeous, and I love having you as a friend.

@heythereJOANN: You’re a lovely, beautiful young woman, and it’s good to have you as a friend.

@RulerofMasons: I think you’re very sweet, and I think you should smile more..it’s such an adorable, cute, and shy smile that looks good on you. I hope things look up for you soon.

@freespiritseeker: You’re a lovely person, and I’m happy to call you a friend, and a fellow insomniac, ha! Thank you for being there

@godfatherofgreenbay: We’ve talked a lot in the past, and I think you’re a good person with a good heart, and I really appreciate your friendship.

@kkrriiissyy: You’re an awesome person, and I hope we can coordinate a day to meet up sometime!

@TheTheologiansCafe: We haven’t talked much lately, and I hope you’re doing well. I know that people misunderstand you sometimes, but I don’t, and I love having you as a friend.

@None_May_Have_Her: I know you think I don’t understand..and while it’s true I don’t understand everything, I do understand a lot. You’re in my thoughts.

@WhiskeyStilettos: I can’t even thank you enough for how awesome you are. I appreciate your friendship a lot.

And while I’m not always on Xanga, if you need me, you can send me a message. Or text, if you have my number. My phone is always on me, and though I might not be able to respond right away, it’s faster than trying to reach me on Xanga If you don’t have my number and I know you well enough, I’ll give it to you if you ask. I’m always here for my friends. I may not always have all the answers, but sometimes it’s good to just talk. And, if you’re not on this list or if I missed anyone, don’t worry, I still love you <3

It snowed here yesterday. A lot. -_- I get irritated because some people are morons in the snow and ice. Plus, I barely saw any plows and even today there was a lot of snow on some parts of the freeways. What the hell. Plus, I ran all over the place today. Had two interviews. Fingers crossed on one of them..or both. I can’t freaking type today, what the eff. So anyway…I got home and pretty much just zoned out watching Captain America. I didn’t really pay much attention to it, to be honest. The parts I saw were boring. I don’t think I liked it. Fell asleep for a bit at the end.

Also, speaking of Christmas, HOLIDAY2012 for 35% off my entire store is active again, as a last holiday sale. I will guarantee Christmas delivery up until the 13th, which is how long I’ll keep the coupon active for. Don’t forget, I also have jewelry for sale too ^_^ (and, some awesome new beads from @LKJSlain to make more!!)

I’m glad that everyone that’s ordered so far really enjoys my candles. It makes me feel like I’m doing something good and worthwhile. I’m truly hoping I get this radio deal..that would be so wonderful. But, I hope you all are well!!

For those that don’t know, I had an interview this morning. It was a “group” interview, myself and one other person. There were two people conducting the interview, the main admin assistant, and her boss. They just asked a few general questions, and it was over in about 20 minutes. Not even kidding, I got in my car and drive to my sister’s apartment, about 5 miles away, which took about 10 minutes, and when I got into her parking lot I got a call back for a second interview. I was like, damn, that was fast! They had so many applicants they set up group interviews, and they are doing individual, second interviews from that pool early next week. The good thing is, I thought of some new strengths I can talk about: I love to be challenged and I do my best work under pressure. Which is absolutely true. So yay for second interviews!! It’s Monday morning at 10:15

ALSO, I heard some wonderful news today. I finally spoke to Mark from Free Talk Live. I found out more about what his ideas are. There’s a page on their website dedicated to the female listeners of the show, and they’re called Shriners. The new subscribers to the page have been a bit stagnant and he wants to revive the page. His idea was, for every new submission to the page, the person would be entered into a monthly drawing to win a gift basket. We discussed concepts for the gift basket, and I said that I would give up three 4oz candles for the gift basket per month. For this, I would get a banner linking to my website on the Shriner page (their website gets 45,000 hits per month), and I would have a banner on my page, linking my customers to the show’s website. In addition, every time the contest is mentioned, I would get mentioned, since people have to know where the gift basket is coming from..so it’s like a commercial. I told him I’m in on my end, I think it would be great for my business. But, he’s looking at other ideas for reviving the page, so he said he would call sometime next week to let me know when and if we can move forward. Damn, I hope he chooses me, because that would be freaking awesome exposure. My mom was freaking out, because she’s like, what if you don’t get any sales and you’re just giving away three candles a month…and I’m like, it’s just like paying for advertising O.o I highly doubt I wouldn’t get any sales from this, considering the website gets 45,000 hits a month, plus the radio show is syndicated on 114 radio stations, 2 XM stations, and a podcast.

Anyway. I’m going to…do stuff.

So I’ve done quite a few trades lately! I’m just going to write a little blog and share a couple of them! Last week, I was at my mom’s house, (sort of) working for my step dad (I only had 8 hours in…), so when I got home on Thursday night, I was thrilled to come home to several packages in the mail! Two of them were trades, and the other two were purchases..one, Christmas gifts, and the other was glitter for candles:

So, for the trades!!

From @LKJSlain, I got two pairs of beautiful earrings! These earrings will be gifts for my sister for Christmas. I hope that she will like them. She said that she doesn’t have many earrings, and Lisa makes gorgeous, quality earrings.

From @Marica0701, I got a dreamcatcher, two long necklaces, and a pretty bracelet

I’m not sure who these gifts will be for, yet, but I’ll figure it out! Working on a couple more trades too

AND!! This is the Coach bag that I traded for! IT’S ALL MINE!! There’s a few stains, but they aren’t noticeable, really, and I love how it hangs on my shoulder

So, anyway, that’s that….and I got another interview…this one is for a real job!!! A friend of my dad’s told me that they are hiring for an admin position where she works, so Friday evening after working hours, I sent an email to the contact and included my resume with my references. I got an email right away this morning, asking for an interview! And I haven’t even officially applied!! She said that when I get there, the receptionist will have me fill out an application, and after that I will have an interview. And I didn’t realize that I was speaking with the Executive Vice President of the company :O

Also, some more exciting news…hopefully within the next few months, I will have a website for my candles, where people can buy directly from there, instead of through Etsy, where there are listing fees. And later, I will announce a winner of the contest

These last couple of weeks have been a real emotional roller coaster, with everything that’s been going on. Overwhelming. I hope I haven’t been too much of a downer with my tears…it’s just been…crazy. I’m spending the day watching TV shows and movies, because I need to chill.

I feel so tired, but I’m going to make candles anyway.

I cried a lot of last night and a good portion of today, and I am so incredibly thankful to have the friends that I do. I always feel alone, but there’s almost always someone there, who will talk to me, or just listen. It’s such an indispensable thing to have…friends like that. I know that I’m not truly alone, but it feels like it sometimes…and those friends that come forward and offer their ears and hearts…I can’t even put into words how much I love these friends, and appreciate them. I’m so emotionally exhausted, and physically. But I have to get these candles done..only two scents. I hope it doesn’t take me too long.

My interviews went well, I thought. The second agency seemed to like me more..we’ll see what happens. I hope I get a call about a job soon…really soon.

And the contest is still going on for a few more hours. To get entered, all you have to do is Like the Savory Scents Facebook page: www.facebook.com/cksavoryscents. Or, you can also make a purchase to be entered. You can save 25% by using the coupon code SAVORY10…. www.etsy.com/shop/crazy2love

I’m going to watch Whip It and make a few candles.. I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. I’ve been a little anti social :/

I’m on my phone, so this isn’t going to be a very long post. I’m working on making jewelry all day. And, I’ll hopefully get some beads from @LKJSlain! Yay! But anyway, I’m having a promotional contest. For every “like” to my Facebook page, www.facebook.com/cksavoryscents, the person will get entered into a contest to win a free 8oz jar in the scent of their choice. Even if you already like the page, you can refer friends and family to win a free candle. Also, all is not lost if you already like the page! I’m having a 25% off sale for the weekend. For every sale, the customer will also be entered into the contest! However, you can only be entered into the contest once..so multiple buys doesn’t count for more than one entry, and neither does liking the Facebook page AND making a purchase. Make sense? I’ll be making jewelry for the rest of the day and I’ll check back every once in a while to see if anyone has questions. The sale and contest ends tomorrow night at midnight, CST, and I’ll announce a winner to the contest on Monday evening. Etsy page: www.etsy.com/shop/crazy2love.

And then all that’s left is dried salt.