November 24, 2012
-
Empathy
Empathy. Yes, I have it. Yes, I am an empath. For those who don’t know, an empath is one who can feel the emotions of others (some of us can do this). We have an easier time sensing how someone is feeling. Sometimes body language and facial expressions can be interpreted, but sometimes, we just know. Before I knew what an empath was, I was sometimes really freaked out at how I knew how someone was feeling. Sometimes it feels like an invasion, on my part. Sometimes, people are really good at hiding their feelings, and they have a good shield that doesn’t let them out. I’ve never really looked into it much, but I think it has something to do with how different emotions emit different frequencies into the atmosphere, and an empath has the ability to pick up those frequencies and our brains interpret them. At least, that’s how it seems it should work.
What does this mean for me? Basically, I have a deep understanding of people’s emotions. Not only can I feel what they’re feeling, but if I know why they’re feeling that way, I can completely understand. Because, every emotion has a reason. I can understand those reasons. I can step into those shoes and imagine what it would be like, very easily. Having this ability can be…difficult, at times. Sometimes emotions are very strong, and depending on what it is, it’s hard for me to handle. Anger, for instance. Anger is very difficult for me to handle. I’ll be the first to tell you that, in the past, I’ve been prone to angry outbursts. I’ve learned how to deal with it, however. But when someone around me has an outburst of anger, I feel it very intensely. Those energy waves are heavy and dark. I get quiet and don’t interact with the person. After the outburst is over, I have a hard time balancing myself out, and it’s a while before I’m back to normal. I think part of the reason I used to have such anger issues is because I didn’t understand what I was doing when I was younger, and it was a long time before I realized I had to build a defensive shield to help deflect other peoples’ emotions from infiltrating my mind.
The reason I thought psychology was a good fit was because I have this understanding of emotions and situations. That maybe I can help people because of this ability I have. But the fear I have lately, is that I’m not sure I could handle it. Being a therapist, you’re around a lot of heightened emotion, most of which is negative and heavy. Would I be able to deflect all of it? Or would I absorb it, like I seem to do? When I was in therapy (yes, I would obviously have to work on my own problems first), I expressed this concern to my therapist, about having to see clients for 8-10 hours a day, and being able to stay balanced myself. She said you get training to be able to handle it. But, I honestly don’t know. *sigh* It’s interesting learning about everything, and I enjoy learning, but I really don’t know if I can do this. It’s hard for me as it is sometimes.
But the reason I’m blogging about this is because I’m having other troubles lately. I know that I’m understanding. I understand what’s happening in a situation (when I’m not involved, I can see both sides), and I can understand the feelings that go along with it. However, even if I can understand, does that mean I have to be okay with it? I struggle with this, a lot, and especially lately. I completely understand, but I’m having trouble being okay with it, and it makes me want to say things that I know I shouldn’t, and maybe that I don’t even mean. I don’t know where the line is. Is there a line? I don’t even know. All I know is, I understand, yet I don’t feel good about it. I suppose I feel better about it than I did initially, because I know that it’s necessary. I just don’t know.
Also, in the middle of writing this, I looked up an empath real quick, *after* I said that it has to do with frequencies in the air…and I was right. LINKY. So I know I should be cleaning and packing a few things..but I just have zero energy. I fell asleep on the couch a little bit ago. My eyes feel so tired..and it’s gritty tired, not just I-want-to-close-my-eyes-now tired. Just exhausted. But at least I got to the post office in time to mail the orders I’ve received from the holiday sale (still going on for 35% off).
Anyway. I hope everyone is well…at least better than I am at the moment….
Comments (22)
There’s nothing wrong with being an empathetic person. Actually, it’s a great thing. I try to be, but sometimes, it’s too difficult to understand what certain people are going through.
Glad you’re doing well
I can relate to this.
Hugs!
*hugs* being empathic is a hard road to walk, absorbing the emotions of those around you. I know a lot of people don’t believe in empathic ability. That’s their choice. I however, have always believe that there are those who have a special little extra (I won’t say gift, because I know to a lot of people, it’s not a gift at all). But I do hope, sweetie, that you are able to maybe use that gift to help people, I know you would be a good therapist. You like helping people.
It’s interesting and amazing how well people can read others’ emotions. I personally don’t think I’m that great at it. I also try to do my best to hide what I feel.
I don’t think it’s a bad thing to be that good at detecting emotions. In fact, it’s probably what is needed in being a therapist. I think it lets the person feel more able to open up about things, perhaps.
Get some sleep and feel better.
I’m not entirely sure what I believe in regards to “empaths” … I’ve been told everything from “it’s a bunch of hooey, and those people are just sensitive” to “My god, you are ALSO one!” (Because I have similar reactions to things as you’re talking about here) I seem to be able to sense and feel people on a level that’s different than everyone else’s.
I do know some people who take it way too far though, and those people drive me insane. I’ll never forget, I was with a person who was “claiming” to be an empath one time and like, we were all hanging out, and someone hit their hand really hard and needed ice and they were all like, “Oh, I felt that…” and I was just sitting there like, “Uh…no… you didn’t… trust me… or you’d be reacting differently right now…” That same person who claimed to have “felt” the physical, also was in the presence of everyone one time when someone broke down, and they claimed to ALSO feel what that person was feeling… I was sitting there thinking (again) that if they truly DID feel that, then they’d be in a different emotional state than what they were in… which I didn’t see.
So, I don’t entirely know what to believe regarding this. Like I said, I have had people flat out tell me that I seem that way myself.
However, I wonder… have you ever done acting? I’ll bet you’d make a good one. It seems that people with DEEP emotional bases are best at things like acting.
I can relate to much of this – I may have a touch of it myself. It is exhausting being around people and understanding (or thinking you understand) something contrary to what they are revealing to you. Draining. That’s why I could never be a counselor, I would absorb it all.
I hope things start looking up for you.
@xdeelynnx - Being empathetic is good for society, but there is a difference between simply being empathetic and being an empath. It’s hard being an empath, because you pretty much absorb emotion sometimes. The negative emotions are difficult :/
@Megabyyte - *hugs*
@freespiritseeker - *hugs* Thank you…I just hope I would have the ability to deflect the strong emotions that come out in therapy.
@Marica0701 - I’m not sure if you read the article that I linked, but in there it says that many empaths can usually tell when someone is trying to be deceptive with their emotions. I usually can. But I’m not sure how I know sometimes. It might be an unconscious and natural decoding of body language. Some of the decoding is conscious, and I know what’s going on and why, but not all the time. Now I totally feel like watching Lie to Me…screw The Vampire Diaries….
You have no idea how happy I am to read this, heh. I feel less alone now.
It gets to be a pain sometimes, but the only thing we can do is work through it. <3
@LKJSlain - I honestly don’t know if I could act, I’m the worst liar (I don’t know if that has anything to do with it, lol!!). I’ve never really tried. But I see what you’re saying about people who fake it makes it seem less real. Empaths are emotional feelers, not physical ones, so I wouldn’t believe that person. Also, if someone is having an emotional break down, an empath could react a few different ways, I suppose, it just depends on the person. I would, however, have a hard time believing it if they were acting totally normal. Because like I said, angry outbursts make me quiet and withdrawn..I don’t even speak and I don’t look at the person. For a different person who’s an empath, they might get just as angry as the person having the outburst. I don’t think it’s possible to feel what someone’s feeling and remain seemingly unaffected, especially if it’s very strong, like an emotional break down. But, if you know how someone is feeling, and you don’t know how you know, that’s a sure sign, I would say. I don’t think it’s a bunch of hooey, and it’s unfortunate that there are fakers out there that makes it seem that way.
The reason I think it’s real is because emotions really do have energy (you know you can feel it many times..tension in the air you could cut with a knife, someone’s jubilant attitude, the suffering of a lost loved one..). And most people can feel the emotions in the air that are very heavy, like the ones I just described. Empaths are just more sensitive to the energy and frequencies in the air than most people, thus they can feel things that others can’t. And I would say a difference is, many empaths actually start feeling the emotions that are there.
@BoulderChristina - Yes! It can be very exhausting and taxing. That’s something I didn’t mention..good point. Especially if you have to work really hard to block something out. And thank you
@HerCarelessWhispers - No, you are most certainly not alone <3
@crazy2love - heh, it’s interesting actually ^_^ (I know you didn’t ask for an update in the non-denominational Christian world) but, we actually have a name for this… it’s called “Spiritual discernment” … it’s interesting that some people “have it” and others don’t have it as much. ^_^.
Most people with spiritual discernment are able to tell if someone is “not right” or if “something is wrong” etc.
Anyways, it’s really cool to know this about you.
I think that my mom is one because she just always knows everything going on. haha She’s one of those mom who just happen to know it all and just know what you’re feeling.
I’m empathetic to people to an extent but not in everything. I think that sometimes some emotions make me angry rather than empathetic to them. I don’t know. But, I do know that when I spend time with people I’m not use to being around, their energy wears me completely out. I get sleepy.
I understand exactly how you feel. Bro. Doc
Long time! How have you been? God speed, ~ Pete
I am a fair bit different from most here…..I have always believed I was one…always handled it..but faced some issue’s (mental breakdown). After that time I have never been able to SHUT IT OUT. I then became a recluse,,,,that was 10 years ago…I have never worked how to regain control of shutting peoples feeling off/mitigate them….to tell you the truth I think if I did that it would make me a different person and that is not acceptable to me….I hide away and that is enough for me…not much of a life but I have my moments. Crazy how strong do you think you are,,,,? The job pathway you are talking of most certainly will put you right there with some of the worst emanations there are…if you think you can you could help a lot of people…..I cant and for me people can all go to hell.
You are totally Wiccan!
I think because I tend to think scientifically/logically terms like frequencies in the air drive my insane. I do think people can sense the emotions of others, but it has nothing to do with “frequencies”. It probably has more to do with the increased ability or increased awareness of the ability to detect pheromones that others secrete. This is an example of a scholarly article on the subject. I am sure there are better, I just cited the first one that was free. Humans have not had to rely on their senses to survive for a long time. We have no need to be able to the emotions of others because we are no longer pack animals that hunt and kill as me as we are hunted and killed by other beings. People have no need to so aware that they can sense the emotions of others to determine whether or not they should feel safe, afraid, or happy. I’m too lazy to find an article about this one. There are probably some out there. I looked up the first one because psuedoscientific term make my skin crawl.
People can be trained professionally or through repeated trauma to read body language. Again, everyone can do this to some degree. However, in modern times, we have no need to be so keen or vigilant about reading the intentions of others. We no longer get into tribal spats about food, territory, and mates. Most people have no need to feel like they should read others so they don’t. They have the ability to trust because for the majority of people, especially in places like the USA, danger is not a real threat. There are probably articles on the subject, but I am far too lazy to find the correct search terms.
As far as being able to handle other peoples trauma as a psychologist, most of them have their own therapist or like your therapist told you, you learn to deal with it. Don’t stop with just your bachelor’s degree. Go on to get a master’s or Phd so you can learn to develop your own theories and learn to figure out ways to deal with the pain of others especially if it triggers you. You would be great at this. The few times that you have offered support to me, have been great. You would make a good therapist. The world of psychology needs more people like you. You see people as individuals and not their disorder.
I’m somewhat of an empath, too, except with me, it comes and goes, and it mainly only happens with people I am close to. I sometimes feel less intense versions of people’s physical sensations, and can easily put myself in other people’s shoes. One thing that works for me is I sometimes just say to myself, “I want to be in my own head right now.” And it works. It sounds like your situation is quite different, but if someone else’s emotions or physical pain are getting too intense for you, you can try it and see if it works.
I feel like you’ve just explained to me something about myself that I always knew but could never name…
….
I’m remembering a lot of stuff and putting pieces together, whoah. I’d like to speak with you sometime, please.
@Erika_Steele - I will admit I don’t know the science terms..but thank you. Hopefully it will work out for me and I don’t end up just wasting thousands of dollars.
I had the same revalation as @acquiredthought …
For me I feel like many people are flat out uncomfortable with it, because they think they are so good at hiding their emotions. When I pick up on them, there’s like a disturbance in the air. I would never force someone to talk about anything, but I feel like it hinders my ability to go along faking happiness with them when I know that something’s up.
I especially hear what you’re saying on the anger bit and balancing yourself out afterwards. I get panic attacks often enough, and I’m just worn out for days on end. It could be from anything, like I’m ultra sensitive when others get angry or incredibly anxious. It rubs off on me and it sticks.
In my opinion you’d make a wonderful therapist, when people come to someone for professional help it usually means that they’re willing to be open about it. You have a gift and I can tell you’ll make the best of it in your own way even if you don’t become a therapist.
interesting…
i always wonder what should i do to be able to relate to how others feel… because, perhaps, i’m the opposite of you, in that i can’t feel what others feel.. hence i tend to hurt people without knowing.. again and again, too, perhaps..