September 19, 2012
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Tired and Sad
I got kind of a late start making candles today..not until about noon. I’ve been working mostly non-stop in the kitchen ever since then (about 5.5 hours) and I’ve made two scents: Coconut Hibiscus and Sweet Snow. Coconut Hibiscus has lids on, starting to cure. Tomorrow afternoon I can test them. I’ve got Cotton Candy burning..and it’s a light, sweet scent…it’s so light because I only got 1oz as a sample size and I made it with a pound of wax..when you’re actually supposed to use about 1.5oz of fragrance per pound of wax…so it’s a bit lighter than what it normally would be, but it still smells good. So I’m tired for making candles for so long…even though I had a coffee when I first started. Taking a break..hoping I can make the other two still tonight.
But I’m sad because my dad wants to get a 1 bedroom apartment and my sister wants to move back with her mom, so that means I either live on my own or go to live with my mother. First, I can’t afford to live on my own, at all. Second, I don’t want to live with my mother. Her crazy drunkness wears me down. Plus, it’s about 80 miles one way away from school…so I would be putting 480 miles a week on my car :/ I already put a ton of miles on it this summer while I was living down there. Plus, that house is so goddamn disgusting. No one cleans after themselves…and the toilets are fucking nasty. Especially upstairs off the living room, where my step dad goes to the bathroom…there’s piss and shit all over the toilet. I never cook while I’m there because the kitchen is gross from everyone else (if people would only clean it as they go…instead of leaving dirty dishes piled up in the sink, crumbs and food all over the counters and floor…) and I can’t stand cooking in a filthy kitchen.
Just the thought of having to live with my mother makes me want to cry. I don’t know how my youngest sister can bear it…maybe that’s why she has psychosis… Damnit I just feel so depressed now. Ugh and I am very close to crying…holding back a lump and it hurts…I have to go…
Just thought I should mention that my dad can’t afford to pay all the bills here anymore and it would be cheaper for him to get an apartment..and I can’t afford to pay more, in case anyone was going to ask…
Comments (18)
((((((Hugs)))))))
*big hugs* Hope everything gets better for you <3 I’m always here if you want to talk.
Hugs. I hope everything works out. This is a tough situation to be in.
Ugh… freaking ridiculous choices.
Is there any way to get a roomie somewhere?
@Megabyyte - @xdeelynnx - @heythereJOANN - Thank you.. *hugs*
@LKJSlain - No, probably not. I pay my dad $400 a month and I wouldn’t be able to find somewhere to rent for that, unfortunately :/
@crazy2love - wow, not even with a room-mate? Eeesh.
Well, goodluck. I hate situations like these. *hugs*
have you tried looking for income based housing? (basically apartments where rent goes by your income)
Damnit. I’m so sorry it’s like that for you. I hope you can find a solution so that you don’t have to go back to your mother’s.
I’m glad the candles are going well, though. Light scents are good, especially for those of us sensitive to such things. Maybe you could target-market them that way.
Stop complaining. I mean, I hope you can make money off of your candles.
Sweet Snow sounds like an awesome candle. I hope you can find a solution besides your Mother’s house.
I’m very sorry to hear what you are going through. It’s never easy when someone drops a bomb like that on you. I remember having to find my own place and with the rent increasing every couple of months, its so difficult to find a decent place to rent.
Maybe you can suggest to your dad to look at other alternatives? Like combining both your incomes and getting a slightly larger apartment?
Anyways, sending lots of love your way… Be strong.
Sorry to hear that. You should try looking for roommates or a room share situation – I’ve lived with roommates since I left college and it saves SO much money. (And I found them all on craigslist, believe it or not.) Good luck, it sounds like a tough situation.
I hope things work out for you either way
Crud, that’s a really tough choice. Can’t your dad either choose a touch-smaller place or stay where he is until you graduate or something? Well, I hope something works out.
On the plus side, hooray for candles! ^_^
I wish I could help you with your situation, that is not an okay environment for you to live in. Could you tell your dad how you feel and maybe say you will sleep on the couch? You could even get a nice air mattress and sleep in his living room. If there any room.
As for those candles, I am so stoked to try them, I am hoping that the hedgehog smells them and starts making funny faces.
Perhaps at some point you and your sister can room together. I don’t know where you live, but sometimes you can find efficiency apartments for less than $300. Best of luck to you.
(e-Hugs) for you.
I came to this post ten days late. I hope that a third option comes along. I think living with your mother is a non-option. I hope your little sister gets out of that situation too.