February 27, 2012
-
Train Wreck Suicide
She let the exquisite fabric run delicately thru her fingers, closing her eyes. She thought of the time she wore the dress, the night that was the best of her life. Scenes replayed in her mind, like silent films. She saw the love in his eyes that night. She saw the laughter in her face. The joy and surprise that filled the cracks when he got down on one knee, and presented the little black box. The diamonds, encased in velvet, lined with silk. How complete she felt when she said yes, and he slipped the ring on her finger.
She opened her eyes now, dull with longing and hopelessness. She let the tears run down. She didn’t even feel like wiping them away. The pain in her chest too much to bear. She donned the black dress, the swish of the material stopped just past her knees. She walked out of the closet, now half empty. She couldn’t bear looking at his side. She remembered watching the love dissolve from his eyes, from his touch. Feeling powerless to stop it. She was watching a train coming at her, and she had been unable to move.
Her heart wrenched, pain filled her body. She could barely breathe. The bath was already full. Her heels clacked on the tiles. She didn’t see the trail of blood that started at the mirror and left the room. She sank into the hot water. The piece of glass was firmly clutched in her hand, cutting into her skin, staining the water crimson. She welcomed that pain. Gripping the glass, she sliced into her forearm. From the inside of her elbow to her wrist. Shaking, she cut her other arm. It didn’t take long for the blood to flow out of her, spilling onto the floor and into the water. She took her last breath, lips blue.
—
Not my best work, I know…
Comments (9)
Beautiful.
Hard for me to read though. Hits too close to home.
M
That was really good. All the words you chose fit in seamlessly. I hate when people use a story to demonstrate how big their vocabulary is. Nothing seemed forced and it wasn’t over saturated with unnecessary details. I was wishing it was longer instead of wishing that it would just end. Nicely done. My favorite line was “The joy and surprise that filled the cracks when he got down on one knee and presented the little black box” specifically “the joy that filled the cracks” I thought that was an amazing way to illustrate the emotion
Kind of worrisome material
@sonnigenmai - I’m sorry it’s close to home for you.
@amateurprose - Thank you, though I think it’s funny you said “the words you chose,” because I felt like I didn’t choose the words. They were just there. It’s weird, that when I write, I feel like it’s not a conscious effort, the words are just there. Is my brain just choosing words for me without me having to really think about it? Is that normal for all writers? I know that words are added and removed in the editing process, but most of what I post is wholly unedited. Anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed reading it.
@Paul_Partisan - Just writing, nothing to be worried about.
@crazy2love - That’s so true. It’s infuriating. Sometimes I can sit down, and as you say, the words will just present themselves; but then other times I have to rip them out of me, and the result is garbage. Quinton Tarentino said that when he was writing pulp fiction it felt like his god antenna was up and he was just transferring the messages to paper. Apparently though, his “god antenna” has broken and snapped off because Jackie Brown and everything else sure as shit came from somewhere else.
Anyway, this definitely made me want to go back and read some of your old, old stuff.
@amateurprose - That’s the same with me..if I force it, it is garbage. Sometimes I’ll get an idea, and I’ll try writing it, but if I have to think about the words to use, it ends up not working out. Definitely frustrating. I haven’t seen all of his films, but I love the ones I have seen, including Pulp Fiction.
I haven’t written much lately, not for a long time, so that would be going back a ways, lol. Maybe I’ll find some do a bit a re-posting
@crazy2love - You should. Now, it’s like one song has pulled me in and I want to hear the rest of the album.
@amateurprose - Aww I’m flattered that you think that way of my writing ^_^
whoa