I don’t think there is much benefit in it personally. It seems to me that porn ruins relationships and makes women feel ashamed and guilty/disgusting.

Having been helping thepinkcross for years now, I can also say that so many of those women in porn (and men) are so poorly treated, and abused in the industry. It’s seedy and sick.

I don’t really think that anyone should need it to get aroused, etc…and when people do (say that they need it) I sort of start to wonder about the human race. Porn wasn’t always around… neither were photos, etc… what did we do BEFORE porn? Did we not fantasize and use our imaginations?

The idea that we would need to look at photos/movies, etc of someone’s daughter, sister, mother, aunt, father, cousin, brother, etc… really just disturbs me regarding the human race.

I UNDERSTAND the desire to look at it (after all, sex is sex, and heck as people, we want it… want to look, taste, feel, etc) but, I don’t think that it’s ultimately good for anyone’s relationship. Even in relationships that agree that it’s “okay” … it’s often found that there is a lot of secracy STILL and often it only opens doors to more things that one or the other partner wouldn’t have thought of doing years beforehand.

Either which way, I get why people are attracted to it.

@crazy2love - I think the question might be, would you still like it if you knew how half of the people in that industry were treated? You probably would, yes. Because as I said, sex is sex and it’s arousing…
But I’ll tell you, once I learned quite a bit about that industry, I no longer supported it in much of any way. (Not that I really supported it before, was just more interested in it…)

As I told pika- I tell everyone to thoroughly explore this site – http://www.thepinkcross.org

Seriously, ignore the fact that they’re christians if that disturbs you. It doesn’t change the fact that they’re all ex-porn stars and can tell you quite a few testimonies about what REALLY happened in porn…

Honestly? Even the creator of that site is trying very hard to change laws to protect porn stars if they can’t shut it down.. which is a reason that I respect her. SHe wants to help the people who also still WANT to be involved. Oh yeah, and pornographers are calling her house and sneding her death threats, AND her little girls death threats as well.

@pika_whoosh - I tell people to ignore the fact that they’re Christian because in actuality, they didn’t start out that way. All of them (including the maker) were not Christians previously, and some of them STILL are not. There is unfortunately a stigma for people to think that because it’s made by a person who’s a Christian that the information is not accurate. Which is false. The information comes from people IN porn, people coming OUT of porn, etc. THe photos are real, the interviews are real, the videos are REAL… and from the source.

I understand that there is an inclination to believe that Christians have a “porn is bad” bias, but in actuality, studies show that those most addicted to porn are actually in church. hahaha.

Regarding your questions, I DID write a response, but it became too long and didn’t feel like boring you. The truth of the matter is that women will find looking at porn horrible because we know that men are visually stimulated. So, from a WOMEN’S pov, porn would probably be worse than fantasizing.

No, you don’t really have to fantasize about friends, family etc. hahaha… The real question sometimes that comes to my mind is often – why are we such a sex DRIVEN society that we need to have pictures, fantasize, etc at all?

There are many cultures that do not have porn, and they do just fine in their sex lives. In fact, some of them are healthier in theirs and more comitted.

Regardless, I understand the appeal, but I don’t support it anymore after having seen many of the things that take place in the inudstry.

@pika_whoosh - True thoughts, true thoughts…

I am definitely also thinking about the past when I talk about cultures who do fine in their sex lives as well. Yes. But, many African tribes, etc, do not have or use porn. Some societies think that it’s detestable.

Personally? I don’t believe that watching porn on your own is a “good” idea, but really for these reasons- What I’ve seen of it, is that it becomes an addiction that really can not be stopped later on. Yes, people will sometimes take “breaks” from it, but I’ve seen many countless families ruined over secret porn addiction. – I also have observed that because porn exposes you to something to “arouse” you, that there is almost ALWAYS escalation (meaning harder material needed, etc…) and that eventually, men in particular no longer have the ability to become aroused by simple things like partners/spouses. I think it’s called being “over sexxed…” The problem is that people will say that they’re not addicted to it… what they don’t understand is that like a drug, porn does things like release dopamine, and endorphins, etc… so it actually becomes more addictive and agressive over time. People will say that they’re not addicted until they try and live the rest of their life without it- which can be really a tricky thing when we’re talking about, “I won’t look at it when it comes to a long term relationship…” More than likely, you WILL look at it again, and more than likely you WON’T tell your partner, which begins a very confusing/secret cycle that reopens the doors to addiction once more.
Honestly, more than a few studies also prove that when men are NOT looking at porn, they still think about it during sex, and often use mental images (That they’ve saved) to arouse themselves during sex with a partner or spouse…

You’re probably sitting there wondering what the heck “I” know… hahaha. This is an area that I’ve studied a good chunk of my life, and I’ve also been part of counseling. (Men addicted to porn, addicted to sex, and women harmed by it in their lives)

So, to answer your question… No, I wouldn’t suggest it (looking at porn outside of a relationship). I understand to each their own, and I also understand the desire to do it (heck, we all have it, me too! )

But for the sake of future relationships, and the sake of developing personal intimacy with a spouse/partner… I would truly not suggest it.

@pika_whoosh - I have to be honest, I don’t really like to “debate”… I do it with friends and family members, and at times I will definitely confess to getting a tone or getting “dickish” … but online? You never know where the other person is coming from, so you really shouldn’t jump to conclusions, or judge, etc.

I try my HARDEST to have “discussions” online, and if they’re “debates” to be friendly and personable. I really don’t like to make enemies.

Anyways, thank you for listening. It’s really refreshing to see someone who might have learned something. Either which way (whether you continue thinking one way or another) It was GREAT talking to you Pika