January 29, 2011
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i feel a little empty
I feel hollow and empty. Like there’s a hole in my heart, and I’m bleeding. I can barely catch my breath and my heart beats faster.
I wish I could believe in myself like everyone else believes in me. Where does that come from? Why can’t I grasp the concept that I’m enough? That I’m good? That I deserve good things?
I wish I could believe that I’m a good writer. I wish I could feel it. I can’t feel it anymore. I feel like my words are empty. I feel like they don’t mean anything. I feel like I can’t write anymore. I wish I could. What am I supposed to do with my life if I’m not a writer? What am I supposed to do if I can’t live my dreams?
BTW, I’m on all locks for xanga right now.
Comments (9)
The thing about being a writer is that nothing seems to matter about what anyone thinks of it, as long as it is all real, heartfelt and what you want to say. It seems that when it comes to art, people want something sincere and true. So, if you don’t want tobe a writer, perhaps, there are other outlets in which to share.
@mynameisblueskye - Of course I want to be a writer. I’m actually insulted that you think I don’t want to be. Honestly, I’m about ready to shut down my xanga. Fuck this place.
hugs
@crazy2love - Wow. Haha! Sorry for the insult. I know you want to be a writer. What I mean is that its easy to be scared or not feel good doing it. But as long as you have inspiration and you feel the words, then you are a writer. The only difference between writing for a book and writing for a blog is a book requires longer passages and being a huge grammar nazi. Otherwise, you are good. You already sound good capturing the feeling of being frustrated and uninspired.
To me, the best writers to m are the ones who can romanticize everything and nothing at once.
The reason I assumed you didn’t want to be is that sometimes, when you feel like you can’t do anything, you eventually think something like this is too much. There comes some moment where people just let go of the dream because they feel they aren’t good enough to fulfill that dream.
Who hasn’t felt this way, at one time or another? I don’t agree with Blue Skye, No one can be inside someone else and see exactly what is being felt.
All I know is that I have enjoyed everything I’ve read of your posts thus far, and look forward to future posts. Don’t let contrary opinions get to you. Everyone just speaks from their own joys and sorrows.
You’re a good writer. Inspiration comes and goes I find.
I know the feeling. *hug*
From here, you look like a good writer. Keep it up!
Your writing seems good to me. Even so, just keep up with it and don’t be so hard on yourself.