December 16, 2010
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I’m Sorry, I Just Cannot Respect You
Well, let me put it this way: I have a very hard time respecting you, if all you did in college was party. I understand the whole freedom thing, wanting to experiment, being away from your parents’ watchful eyes, and yada yada yada. However, it’s time for you to grow up. College is serious business…. it makes your future! Plus, it’s freakin’ EXPENSIVE!!
There are so many people that would love to be in college and learning and taking steps into their future. But they can’t, because of their situation. And here people are, pissing it away… literally. How can you be taken seriously?
The reason I’m talking about this is because there was someone at work talking about their college days and all they did was party. It made me sick. I would love to have been able to go to a university, and taken all kinds of wonderful classes. Instead, I got stuck working full time for two years then trying to go to a technical college that I still couldn’t afford even though I was STILL working full time.
You want to piss away money and your future, whatever. I just don’t want to hear it.
Comments (61)
I agree. call me rude but I’m in college and it is possible to have fun without being a drunk idiot every weekend.
also, I see the kinds of people who do nothing but party and it just angers me how they have no regard for their future or life for that matter.
I fricken HATE people like that! Here I am, working a part time job (can’t work full time with my course load), tutoring, and doing homework and studying everynight to get good grades and possibly get scholarships when I do transfer to a university and I look around and watch people that have college paid for party it away! My parents have had to sacrifice way to much of what they love (a camper, and a classic car my dad rebuilt himself that I picked out when I was a child). Our entire family has had to cut back because they are trying to help me pay for college. On top of that they make too much for me to qualify for anything from the government, and I didn’t even qualify for any scholarships this year at my community college. I got a scholarship from my high school but it was used up completely in my first year of community college. If I were some of those people I would be working my ass off to prove that I deserved to be able to go to college. I would die for someone to pay for my college, there is nothing anyone could do to make me throw that away to party.
Makes me sick too. I had/have to work so damn hard just to stay in college because I’m dirt ass poor. My mom’s a waitress and my dad doesn’t work, but my EFC score was low enough and my grades high enough that I got enough financial aid.
The fact that there’s people out there who take it for granted and think it’s just time to party.. It’s irritating.
Yeah,humans don’t appreciate the good things sometimes. I’m still at a Community College but when I talk to people about where they are going after, they always include a partying school to be one of their top choices ,because of the partying. Seems like those people have some serious growing up to do.
All of us in college should be fortunate and thankful for the opportunity, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Maybe you should talk to my roommate – she keeps having parties in our apartment, skips class like no other, and wonders why she’s doing poorly yet doesn’t really care. :p
My aunt, on my father’s side, is what they call in Yiddish, a yenta, which means she talks too much.
She has 2 daughters, 1 son, all straight. I have my doubts about the middle daughter’s 100% straightness but she is married to a very politically correct male who is an M.D. at this point and we don’t give a shit if she has experimented with women. She’s not squatting in our spare bedroom.
The son is married to a wonderful woman, who went back to school to become a nurse. They have a daughter and 2 sons. The daughter goes to U. of Chicago and got accepted early.
The son is the oldest, he shares his father’s hobby of fixing cars. Dad is an engineer, got straight A’s at U of M, races NASCAR, which is atypical for an American Jewish guy, very quiet little square headed practical guy who reads Popular Mechanics and loves to fix things. His preferred mode of transport when not racing cars on weekends is a station wagon, probably an AMC with straight 6.
Oldest son, was encouraged to be POPULAR. Parents bought him a classic 1947 Cadillac as a going away present, and he won a full scholarship to University of North Carolina. He goes there and joins a fraternity. Before his first semester was over, he was expelled from school and forced to leave his frat house because he totally flunked all his midterms. Maybe he did not even attend them. He got zeros or something. He like NEVER went to class. All he did was hang out in the frat house and get stoned and drink alcohol and party. He had the time of his life. He was like a pig in the mud. He got thrown out and he came home.
His mother was livid. She wanted him to get his own apartment and get a job in the town where they live somewhere in the exurbs of DC (his grandparents on his father’s side are retired civil servants.) Okay, so, good. He gets a job as a cook. He’s working for the Elks Club, doing catering jobs, and rents an apartment above a barbershop in his town.
About 6 months later we hear another story about our cuz. He has been indicted by a grand jury. The barber was pissed off about some of the smells, and people coming and going. My 2nd cousin and his friends told him some smart answer. He told the cops. A cop came to call on the apartment over the small town barbershop and the kids wouldn’t let him in. The cop put his foot in the door and waited them out. He got in. He did not have a warrant. Brownies were being baked and sold. There was a confession which eventually a fairly expensive lawyer was hired to try to suppress and some other machinations were apparently done and I don’t know where they are, but this kid has a record now.
And he ain’t going back to his old school. Steely Dan or no Steely Dan.
i wish people would just go for what its meant to be for: EDUCATION! you get em girl!
I whole heartedly agree!
I did all of my partying in high school. I HOPE THIS MEANS WE’LL STILL HAVE SEX
@ShimmerBodyCream - Always, I love youuu! <3
I totally agree with you!
Ya know what pisses me off most? The idiots will somehow manage to get degrees and leverage them for the rest of their lives, earning more than those whose life circumstances kept them out of college even if they’re far more qualified than the degreed idiots.
Thank you!!!! I agree!
You’ll go to college one day I’m pretty sure of it and when you graduate; you’ll fill that position of the terminated incompetent employee that didn’t pay attention in class because he/she was hungover or just missed class.
I’m all for partying at college, but it needs to be balanced out with studying. It used to bother the shit out of me when my classmates would come in hung over in the middle of the week. They’d be freaking useless in class. These people were pissing money away.
Party on the weekends or when you don’t have class the next day! It’s not rocket science.The thing about college is you have to know when to play and when to actually do work. Some people just can’t figure that out.
I’m sure they are just mentioning partying because everything else for them isn’t much to write home about. But personally, I’d agree if that is the only reason they could find for enjoying being in college.
Oh. My. GOD. SERIOUSLY!
This is a touchy subject for me. I screwed up royally in high school so my college fund was divided among the other kids. I would have started college fall 2007 had I kept in line. As it was, the four of us all began college at the same time, fall 2009 (I have a pair of siblings who are twins and a stepsister all the same age, SOOOO fun haha)
My sister went to university of her choice, somewhere I’d never heard of and didn’t care about. My brother went to community college, like me. She’s still going, he quit and has a good job and no hard feelings there because even if he graduated college next semester like he would have had he kept up with it, he still would have had to wait like two years to apply for academy (to be of age) so he decided to work for a bit instead
Now my stepsister….oooh, this boils my blood! My stepsister started at the University of Oklahoma. The university my dad went to, the university the entire family is affiliated with, we’re a Sooner clan for sure and ever since I was little, I wanted to go there. Unfortunately with my blowing off HS combined with lack of funds, I had to start out at community college. My stepsister, R, went to OU with all her tuition paid for by my dad, got weekly allowances to pay for extras so she didn’t have to work, etc. and guess what? SHE FUCKED IT UP COMPLETELY. She didn’t go to class, flunked out, by the end of her freshman year her grades were so awful that she couldn’t even go back this year.
That makes me SO MAD! I would have KILLED to be able to experience the college life like that, to actually go to the real university four years and not have to worry about money and she just had zero appreciation for it. UGH.
Anyway. Excellent post lol.:D
I’m trying my damnedest just to GET to college! It’s so hard when that one scholarship you really wanted just didn’t work out, and the application process is so frightening, it makes you cry. I’m a nervous wreck and I’m due for college next fall. I’m trying so hard to make it that I swear I’ll never take it for granted. If my roomies want to go party, they can. I’ll be in my room, talking to my mom and doing my work.
Oh god, I hate those kind of people. They don’t take anything seriously and think just because they made it and they’re not being watched by their parents that they’re set for life. That nothing can hurt them. It’s so shameful. I really just want to punch some faces in because of that. I know kids now that are going to be just like that during their college years.
I admit! The only thing I’m going to do that’ll be even semi-crazy is getting my lip pierced. That’s not even terrible compared to some of the other crap other kids might be doing during their college years. Geez. When will people ever learn?
Yeah, it seems like the main ones that party here are the trust fund/parents are alumni here kids. Actually, they’ve expanded it a bit to spending every waking second (that they aren’t in class or maybe should be in class) shopping, going out to eat, spending money, and doing things for that stupid sorority/fraternity. I swear, those kids are in a cult or something…
I’ve wanted to go to college since the first time I learned what college was! I love learning…and I am in just about every academic thing on campus.
There’s nothing wrong with partying in itself. I know some people who only party on weekends but study diligently during the weekday. There is even nothing wrong with getting pissy drunk. Again, some people only do that on the weekends after studying all week. Its just idiots who let it affect their grade that have the issues…
I just can’t believe how people waste all that money…especially those whose parents pay for it or they get a full scholarship. I wish I had a full scholarship…
@SexyGamerGirl - Agreed
Good for you, I am glad somebody said this ab out college, its not some 6 year frat party, its not MTv. This is all I am going to say because you have said exactly what I had in my head.
agreed
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These things are never black and white. It’s not like half the college is out getting smashed 24-7 and never doing work and the other half are constantly studying and living under the tables in the 24-hour study room. Most of the people I met in college maintained or did their best to maintain a balance between the two. I had plenty of friends who maintained good GPA’s during the week, then got blackout drunk on the weekends, and they were just fine.
I don’t respect the people who go off to school and party 24-7 and end up blacked out and kicked out at the end of the school year, but I get equally irritated at the “holier than thous” who think that just because they don’t party or go out, that they’re somehow better than the people that do. No one I knew thought very highly of kids who were just pissing away money by getting piss drunk and cutting class all the time, but we equally disliked the people who would go around snickering at the rest of us and constantly flaunting their academic sacrifices like it automatically made them better people.
I agree that the main point of college is to get an education, but you can’t spend your entire time with your head in your books. You need to go out and join activities and DO SOMETHING, because employers look for more than good grades on your CV – they look for someone that can do things outside of the classroom.
i totally agree. i hated going to class after the weekend ended or on thursday or friday. i have ADD and it is very frustrating not watching some hung over student snore or act like an ass in class.
Honestly, you shouldn’t have partied so hard in high school maybe so you could have gotten scholarships to college. Whats you’re real reasoning for not going to a big school?
I mean there’s scholarships.
Loans.
More than one that don’t cost that much so you CAN afford it.
I just hate when people say they can’t afford to go to a school, there’s so many options, its just Bullshit.
I am in college and I don’t party at all but I think its perfectly normal to party in college as long as you keep your grades decent. Party your life away.
I knew people who stayed drunk and still could pull A’s (how I don’t know because I had to study a ton)
I went to College of Charleston… costs about $25,000 a year.
Yeah, I’m gonna be in debt for a for years after this, but its gonna be worth it.
College is supposed to be fun, not a continuation of high school, or some drab place you just get an education.
Don’t get pissed at others for enjoying their time its their choice.
Its YOUR choice to be miserable in school. You could have gone away, I don’t agree with people saying they “can’t” afford it.
Just because you drink doesn’t mean you can’t read. Most people in college do plenty of both. I attend a four year university and even the kids that are super down with ‘partying’ still focus on school.
okay… what if all you did in grad school was party? love meeeeeee.
@raspberryjade - Agreed. What’s worse is when kids are doing this and their parents are paying for it. One of my good friends has a girlfriend who is basically living with him, but her mom pays for her dorm apartment – like 1k/month! – and she’s in it maybe once a month. It’s bullshit.
Amen. I went to college for a year and a half then I couldn’t afford loans so I had to leave. I’m still paying those off and haven’t been able to go back. All the while, my youngest sister got all of her tuition covered for some sort of “disability” which I think she is BSing about and all she does is party and sleep around.
Yeah, I’m bitter. I’d love to be in school LEARNING. I don’t want to hear about people wasting it.
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL - Honestly, college IS getting harder and harder to afford. I live in a state that ranks as 49th in giving financial aid. I have come across many people who are sitting on the poverty line, but still couldn’t afford the local college here that is only 6k/semester. What’s worse is that it just went up by 2k, and continues to rise. Some people legitimately cannot afford to go. I went to college in Chicago and had to drop out because my parents abandoned me. I could not legally be removed from their income, so I was never awarded aid and loans because their income was too high. I spent months looking for aid and asking multiple institutions for loans. I was literally homeless, until my now-husband came in and saved me. I got lucky that I had a loving, supportive boyfriend alongside of me. Also, there are people who are partying their ass off through college and are getting straight A’s, yet aren’t actually learning anything. Some of those people end up getting a job they are completely under-qualified for, instead of others who truly studied and learned something, rather than regurgitated information for A’s. The author is simply saying that she doesn’t want to hear people talk about something reprehensible to her, while they’re partying every single night and wasting an opportunity that not everyone can have. It’s sickening. And it’s seriously misguided on your part if you think everyone can find a way to afford college.
@airbornerose - working full time as a server, make 2.35 an hour + tips i can afford 6 k a semester. im in college. i don’t believe someone can’t afford it. what they are is lazy. get a job. go to school.
You are so right! How many would give up so much simply to be able to afford to attend and a lot of self-indulgent weenies make it party central instead, wasting mommy and daddy’s money. Bet they wouldn’t party so much if it was being paid out of their pocket.
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL - You’re seriously delusional and judgmental. While laziness exists, it is most certainly not the reason for everyone. In your infinite wisdom, I’m surprised you couldn’t figure that out yourself. Get off your high horse and try understanding that absolutes are not often true.
My first two years of college were like that. It was nice to be away from home for a while, then I got a taste of what it was like to be dropped out and poor, came back, and college was great. Everybody has to learn their lesson somehow. In hindsight, I wish I just partied my first two years after high school, then buckled down later. Oh well, can’t win em all.
i definitely agree. i’d give anything right now to be able to go to college and get an education so that i might have a career in the future. i don’t get why people waste it on drugs and alcohol and partying. soooo ridiculous. *edit to add* if they don’t want their education, i’ll gladly take it.
@airbornerose - if i can do it, anyone can do it.
im sorry i don’t believe that everyone can’t afford college. yeah its expensive, but its possible.
you’re attacking me for saying my opinion on the matter, keep on attacking.. it doesn’t make it any less true.
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL - It’s an opinion, not a fact. So your last line is ridiculous. You think your situation is as bad as it gets? Give me a break.
I smoked and partied my way right on out of college and in a lot of ways I don’t regret it. I led the life I lead and am kind of happy that I did. To quote Bruce Springsteen. “I learned more from a two minute record (and a joint) than I ever did in school.
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL - Okay, let me break it down for you, okay? I did not party in high school. What I did was take care of my sisters while my mother was getting high on cocaine. I did the grocery shopping every 2 weeks, woke my sisters up for school, got them ready, made dinner, put them to sleep at night, made sure they did their homework. After high school, I was stressed and couldn’t handle the stress of jumping into college right away. I needed to cool off. So I went to work full time for 2 years. When I started going to college, I applied for financial aid. I was 20, so I had to put my dad on my apps. Guess what? He supposedly made too much for me to get hardly anything. And he didn’t even help me pay for school. I even paid him rent and bought all of my own things… clothes, food, paid for my gas money, my cell phone. I also did not qualify for student loans. No one in my family had good enough credit to apply with me, and the one person that could, refused. So here I am, paying out of pocket, my checking account going negative dollars every other week. So I would like to know: what options did I have? Mind you, I was working full time AND was a full time student. How is that laziness?
@airbornerose - I was watching the news today at lunch in the lunch room, and their “money expert” was saying that more and more people are taking out loans to pay for school… and then he said you shouldn’t do that O.o He said, “IF you choose to go to college, don’t take out all kinds of student loans.” There’s not many choices out there if you don’t go to college, really. So anyway, not everyone can get grants and scholarships and everything… so what other options do you have?? I think it was a ridiculous segment on how to save money.
This is how I feel about 90% of subjects and 99% of how people treat a) their situation, b) their resources and c) opportunity. Hence my silence most of the time. The way we as Americans live is often disgusting if ever viewed in the full realm of possibility. However, I try to give people my respect all the same. Even if I have to give it first to get some in return. Shame though. Truly.
Your bitterness over this situation clearly shows. Just because you cant afford the luxuries of a nice college lifestyle does not mean that everybody that can isn’t deserving of respect. What have you done to deserve respect? Just because you worked full time you think your respectful? This is jealousy at its finest. Furthermore, since you’ve never actually went to college how do you know what the lifestyle should be like? You seem very narrowminded. Maybe you should have done better in high school, then you would have a scholarship. I dont see people ragging on you saying how unresepctable you are because your credentials weren’t high enough to get a scholarship!
You can’t choose where you come from, you can choose where you’re going.
@airbornerose - My best friend came from one of those families that was barely above the poverty line, her paychecks from high school working part time payed for her family’s grocery bills, and they didn’t eat well by any standard. I watched her never give in to the excuses so many people in her situation would have given. she graduated at the same time I did, while so many people better off gave excuses while wasting their money on pointless things and claiming how expensive college was. It’s true she could have had it much worse than she did, thats true for anybody. Because of her, I hold the view that if you want it bad enough, nothing will stop you from achieving it.
My own personal story is that I came from a lower middle class family, I worked hard in HS and at work so that I could start off my first year in college without loans, I tried to to afford a meager social life for me and my friend. I never expected my parents to pay for my education, it wasn’t and never will be their responsibility. They also made enough money and owned enough property to make it so my financial aid options were limited. I applied for and received some scholarships based off of my accomplishments in HS. I supplemented my meager FA with student loans from banks, my work history got me the loan. I studied hard in college, and didn’t forget to have fun while I was there. I am truly lucky, many have it much worse than me, but I am thankful for the life I have and proud of what I have accomplished. The only reason I am telling you all this is because my entire life experience tells me you are wrong.
@crazy2love let me break it down to you, my mom was in REHAB for taking 17 morphine pills and drinking two cases in one night when i was in high school. I worked 40 hours, went to high school, and still made a freakin’ high B average.
My dad makes 100,000 a year.. you think i get help? no he. he buys bullshit while i pay for my college. my story is EXACTLY like yours.so yeah. if i can do it, so can you.
i chose to go to school.you chose to take a break.
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL - Yeah, and you also said that you have loans. I DID NOT QUALIFY FOR LOANS. NONE. I have absolutely no help in paying for my college education. Next year I will finally be able to get some help in paying for it because I do not have to put my dad’s finances on my apps anymore, and I fully intend on going back.
@kayla - Yes, actually, working full time and doing an excellent job does grant me the right to be respected. I’ve had two promotions and raises this year, in a flailing economy, no less. My quality of work is superb, and I get told so all the time by many people, and these people do respect me and my work. I’m not narrow minded at all. I actually have a very open mind. How can I respect someone who doesn’t respect themselves? People who party all the time don’t respect themselves. If you respect yourself, you wouldn’t feel the need to lose yourself in drugs and alcohol. Also, I didn’t do bad in high school. I am very intelligent, with an IQ much higher than average. It wasn’t my credentials that didn’t get me a scholarship, it was my decision to take time off after high school to work. After everything that I went through, I couldn’t go to college right away.
It seems that you’re narrow minded for making these statements without even knowing me.
@xsimplepleasuresx - You are completely missing my point. There are too many situations that exist, too many people, to make such an absolute. You know your situation and how you struggled, as do I. But do we know our neighbor’s? No. It is naive to assume that everyone can make it happen, because there are some who cannot. I encourage you to watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4639vev1Rw
@crazy2love - It’s a tragedy, and it doesn’t help that the cost of college continues to rise.
@crazy2love - So you could have gotten a full ride scholarship based on your credentials from high school, however you decided instead to take time off to work, doesnt sound completely intelligent to me. This just sounds like one of those poor poor pitiful me posts about how sorry we should feel for you. It’s your choice to be a victim of your circumstance instead of a champion over them!
@airbornerose - Wow, that video was very intense, and really puts things into perspective. It’s really, really sad. I had to post it on facebook, thanks for linking that Kylie.
@kayla - Absolutely not, I could not have gotten a full scholarship. Those were not even offered at my high school. The only scholarships available were for people going to school for agriculture, and very small scholarships at that. I did not just take time off to work. I took time off because I was emotionally exhausted from everything I had gone through in high school, so yes, it was intelligent. Very intelligent, because I had to take care of myself before I could focus on my future. This is not a poor me post, and you don’t know me at all and what my life has been like. And if you read any of the comments, no one said, “Poor you, I’m really sorry you never got those opportunities.” Most of the comments on this post are of people telling their own stories about not being able to afford college. In 9th grade when I was clinically depressed and suicidal, I didn’t do my homework and my grades were terrible. I could only get my GPA to a 2.154. In college, my GPA was a 3.4.
@crazy2love - You can peddle whatever kind of backstory as to why your not in college right now, but all it amounts to is an excuse! What if Helen Keller said, ” oh i’m blind and deaf guess i’ll never make it” yea she didn’t say that you know what she did?she worked harder! Just abou every university in the country offers a full ride scholarship, so don’t give me this bull about how your high school didn’t offer them, it’s called using your resources!
@crazy2love - Not a problem.
@TheCrimesOfDougMoe - What an incredibly moronic, ass of a cousin you have! I can’t help but think “What a waste” when I hear that. UGH.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I totally agree. Don’t get me wrong if I decide that I want to drink I’ll drink, but academics are first and foremost my focus when I go to college next year. I see no harm in having fun in moderation (mostly sober fun, mind you), but it will NEVER EVER come before tests or schoolwork.
@XxrockxXxgirlxX - We don’t know what’s wrong with him and we don’t want to know. That’s the bottom line. His mommy and his daddy won’t be available forever.
@TheCrimesOfDougMoe - I wouldn’t want to know either. You know, I guess all you can do is pray for him, and hope he makes good choices. If not then maybe prison will shape him up :S.
when i was going through cosmetology school a girl who had recently started told us all the only reason she was going was bc it made her car insurance cheaper…way to spit on my profession! no, its not as structured as other careers, but i take it very seriously. i have a passion for my job, just as many ppl have a passion for furthering their education and making a life for themselves. its very unnerving when ppl take these things for granted.
@crazy2love - scholarships. i seriously have no sympathy, i’m sorry. i know that i sound like a complete bitch. but you could have tried harder. and i spent high school building up credit with loans because i bought my own car too.. so i could get loans.
@airbornerose - I understand the point you were trying to make just fine, I just don’t agree with it. I won’t bother to discuss it with you anymore, since you resorted to calling me naive, if you can’t show basic respect for other’s views, you aren’t worth talking to. Good luck in life.
@xsimplepleasuresx - Naive isn’t necessarily an insult or show of disrespect. You don’t know everyone’s situation, and are making conclusions based on your own, and your friend’s. There’s nothing wrong with that, so long as you don’t negate everyone else’s, but you are. That, in itself, is disrespectful. Have a good day.