December 2, 2010
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We’re Not Friends
The people that I work with think that you can’t have a best friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend online, that you’ve never met.
I know that most Xangans feel differently, because there’s been people who meet here, meet IRL, and get married, or become best friends. So I was talking to Cody and I said, “A friend is someone who you ask more than how their weekend was.” And Cody says, “So you have a lot of friends here at work.” I said, “Not really, because I just like to babble.” What I meant by this conversation is that a friend is someone who you have deeper conversations with, someone that you actually talk to, and not small talk.
A while back, a whole bunch of us used to hang out outside of work. I guess they still do… just minus me. I’m sorry, I guess I blurred the lines with being coworkers and being friends, because it kind of seemed like we were friends.
I have no friends where I live. I graduated high school over 100 miles away, then moved right after graduating. So the only friends I’ve had here are friends I’ve made at work. And then, I guess they aren’t really friends. I’ve always feared being the one that everyone talks about behind your back. You think everyone likes you, but it’s false. You think they piss me off to get me riled up, then laugh at me behind my back? Yes, I think so.
No, Cody, we’re not friends.
We’re not anything.
My online friends are better friends than any of them will ever be.
Comments (14)
I feel like you do. I have better online friends than I do local friends.
@applebeebaby - No.
I definitely know what you mean, and yeah, online friends can be more real than the people around you. It makes perfect sense, actually. Since you’re writing, there are usually much deeper conversations….and online relationships (when the two ppl plan to meet) do work and can be amazing.
I hate so much that you feel the way you do…that you’re down, hun. Like I said, you need hugs…some good, real hugs. I wish I could lift you up and help you smile.
Hugs to you girl…..I’m always here anytime you wanna talk. Take care of yourself.
@Nitzchiya - I did smile, when I read your comment =]
@crazy2love - Awesome! =)
I feel if people are going to have that click, that connection with someone, it won’t matter if there is distance and they share mostly by writing. My connection to the world is writing mostly and I’ve always felt more like myself in this realm. I could also see how someone would feel out of place here though. Thought provoking.
Xanga buddies are better than IRL!!! i have plenty of those people here. i honestly think that none of us agree on what friends really means. i kept telling a lot of those people that they are not my friend. Like my post said here… friends are very easy word to use just as loosely like people say love.
My cousin has always told me that you can’t really be boyfriend/girlfriend with someone unless you met. She was telling me that when I was first met my boyfriend online and said that he wasn’t really my boyfriend yet because I hadn’t met him.
I don’t think you need to meet someone to be friends, or boyfriend/girlfriend. And online friends are great. I love my online friends.
We are awesome.
My work is fantastic, i do my job i go home. I talk to the people at work but we all understand we are “friends” at work….. when the job is done its nothing more than a casual “hey” on the street, not friends
i feel the same i believe thats wy im kinda stand offish hen it comes to meeting new people or even hsving friends at all. people online tend to develope deeper relationships with one another than they do in the real world. but its never believable that those bonds can emerge from online itself into the real
I’ve lived where I am for a year and I have yet to find a real good friend. My boyfriend thrives on meeting people and making connections quickly and he has many RL friends here and back where we used to live. But he really only likes a couple of them. I haven’t met anyone outside of work on my own. Anyone I know is through my boyfriend and I don’t really like them all that much. Some of them will help us or hang out with us from time to time. But I don’t truly trust or rely on any of them.
The friends that I have are online and friends from my hometown are really the only friends I have.
My definition of a friend is someone who sticks by you through thick and thin. The ones who you know will come to visit you in the hospital. Work people can become friends but I find that it takes a long time. Outside of work friends take a long time to get to know as well. And I’m finding that as I get older the good friends are hard to find.
I have noticed that in my asdult life I don’t have very many friends either..I seem happier without all the drama that other people bring in my life!