November 20, 2010
-
Operation Disconnect
I feel so disconnected from Xanga. Will I ever feel at home here again? I feel like having to put my xanga on lockdown has violated my sanctity of this space. I found out one of the people who was reading my xanga. It was a co worker, not who I thought it was… I know because he told me. I felt weird about it, because apparently he had been reading it for a long time, and I shudder to think of all the things he read. It’s not that he’s creepy, but now I know that he’s read some of my darkest secrets.
I don’t know if I will ever be the same blogger. Will I regain all of my friendships? Will I ever be a top blogger again? I don’t know. I miss writing, I miss making people laugh, I miss talking to everyone. I feel broken, like I’m losing touch of reality now that I’m not writing down my thoughts every day. I feel like I’m just… losing it. I can’t write anymore.
I think I’ve lost myself.
Comments (9)
I’m with you. I’m not even on friend’s lock but it’s obvious no one has any interesting me. Other than those I’m already friends with and half of those people don’t even talk to me. *sigh*
I hope everything settles down and works out.
Just keep writing.
@None_May_Have_Her - If I was around more, I would have interest in you!!
@KickingSheep - Thanks =]
@bloodbreath - I’ll try.
Knowing certain people I know in person read my site does inhibit somewhat what I write, so I understand your feelings.
try and keep going… ever since my real life friends who are on the site have gotten off, and even when they were around, i never had a whole lot going for me around here.
AS long as i have a couple of people i’m enteraining every now and then, I’m pretty happy here.
You must persevere and keep going and going on here!
hugs
Maybe you should change usernames ? I’m sorry someone infiltrated. I know it’s awful, and I fear that happening to me too someday
. The decent people of xanga are here for you though.
I know what you mean.
I guess, to me, part of it is somewhat flattering. The whole, “Oh I’m interesting enough to read?” But yes, I write things that I don’t tell people. Its not like I have anything to hide, its just that I don’t know how to respond to it.
I could see myself being like a teacher and asking, “So. Do you have any questions on this week’s lesson?”