October 2, 2010
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I COULD KILL MY FUCKING MOTHER RIGHT NOW
I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. I FUCKING HATE HER.
Could I get any more clear?
I hate her.
My youngest sister. The purest of them all. The one who hated smoking and drinking. Who hated drugs. WHO IS 15.
The one who always said she would never do any of that shit.
Now she bent to my mother. She drinks. AND IS A POT HEAD NOW?!
Do I blame my mother? Or my sister for bending?
I AM SO FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW.
I could cry.
Comments (27)
Oh I feel you!!!
I hate my younger sister right now for very good reason, and my beloved Aunt Star actually said the words “ease up.”
Now this is pretty funny coming from somebody who (she and her brother) did not exchange one single word of conversation for TEN YEARS
I’m like Star, I love you and mom and my nieces and all the civilized family members but don’t tell me “ease Up” on THAT ONE.
I mean good grief! I love Star to pieces, but “ease up?” WT hairy F?
you cant blame your parents for everything
@Findingvanessa - I can definitely blame my mother for this. My mother is a sorry excuse for a human being. She’s the one that GIVES her the pot and alcohol!
That is terrible. I don’t know how a mother could bear to live while being that kind of influence to her own daughter. There’s still hope for your sister; I know people who have come out of terrible homes with honestly evil parents and grown up to be wonderful. Just stay in her life. I can understand if you don’t want to talk to your mom.
:/ 15? But that’s SO YOUNG. I wouldn’t be so worried if she was older and more responsible but there’s really no such thing as being responsible with drinking and smoking at that age. for some people not at any age.
thats kind of an immature comment to make :/ my mother has done much worse and my father has given me drink and drugs at a very young age. but i tend to accept responsibility for my own actions rather than blame them. bitterness gets you nowhere.
@grammarboy - Yeah, I know. I’ve been trying to stay in her life. It’s hard when I can’t stand my mother. I’m one of the good ones.. but I worry about her. Our other sister didn’t fare as well as I did. It’s so hard knowing that my mother is rubbing off on my sweet baby sister.
@jeantwohawks - I worry a lot about her. She’s probably the most sensitive of any of my sisters. She’s been a cutter for a long time too because she’s so sensitive to my mother’s abuse =[
@Findingvanessa - I don’t think it’s immature at all. My mother IS a sorry excuse for a human being. And not everyone reacts the same way in the same situations. I didn’t do drugs. My other sister, did some hardcore drugs and partying. Now my youngest sister, is starting to do drugs. We’ve all been in the same situation. We turned out very differently and have lived different lives.
so because you didnt do drugs makes you better? a ‘good one’? jesus!!
maybe you should start seeing her as a human? she has feelings as well, maybe if you understood her better, no one is perfect.. let go of the hate. it does you no good. and blaming your mother for your problems is immature. no matter how young i was, if i took drugs it was because i chose to, same as your sister. she chose to take drugs.
At fifteen, your sister is too young to drink and especially smoke pot. It would be one thing if she was going out and getting it from her friends, because then it would be all on her and if your Mom did something about it when she found out - it’s another thing for your Mom to be the culprit. I don’t understand why she would think it is okay to give her fifteen year old daughter alcohol and pot.
All you can do is talk to your sister. This is the time when she is going to need you the most. She may get mad at your for telling her she shouldn’t be drinking and getting high, but it sounds like you are the only one close to her that could get through to her at some point.
As for the one who said you can’t blame your Mom, oh yes you can. Kids tend to look up to their parents when they are young whether they admit it or not. Naturally, if the Mom says something is okay, the child/ teen will more then likely believe it.
She cuts, too? I can’t say that’s surprising, since a lot of the cutters I know have abusive mothers, but it is heartbreaking. I hope that your sweet baby sister grows past this. I’d hate to see her do herself serious harm before she gets the chance to recover. I’ll pray for her.
ummmm. i’m guessing this isn’t one of those ‘if you’re going to do it, do it under my roof’ kind of things…
@Findingvanessa - Crystal is merely expressing concern that her mother is setting a bad example for her sister. Anything she says is out of love for her sister, so anger at her words, even if well-intended isn’t constructive. While her sister is responsible for her own choices, parents are also responsible for their children while they’re under their care. There is no excuse for either, but her mother had her chance; the least she can do is be the mother her daughter deserves. From what you’ve said, I get the feeling this brought up bad memories for you, and I’m sorry that it makes you angry, but please don’t take it out on her. *hugs*
@Findingvanessa - I know my mother has problems, and she has had MORE than enough opportunities to turn herself around. Yes, my mother has had a fucked up life. But she hasn’t made anything better for herself. Instead, she continues to make the wrong decisions and makes her life WORSE. Also, I never said I was the “good one.” I simply said that all of us have handled the situation differently. My mother being an awful and cruel person has nothing to do with “seeing her differently.” How can you see it differently when someone consistently verbally assaults you?
@grammarboy - Yes, she does. All 3 of us have cut at different times. It was the only way we knew how to deal with what our mother has put us through. My other sister wants to get custody of her, but she won’t. The courts would never allow it. She would end up going to foster care… which might not be any better.
@Cognizant_Wolf - I can’t talk to her right now because she has a friend over, but I intend on talking to her when he leaves.
That must be really tough for you =( I know older siblings are very protective and feel responsible for their little brothers and sisters. I really hope you guys get through this and I wish you all the best of luck.
@grammarboy - im not really angry :/ sorry if i sounded angry, i was merely trying to help her, i understand the situation completely because i have been in it. but i have realised blaming people is a waste of time. and so is hating people.
there is usually a reason they do the things they are doing. figuring that out is more worthwhile and productive than being angry at them or blaming people. ya know? everyone deserves an amazing parent. but that rarely happens. because we are all imperfect, child and parent…. its like i used to hate my mum for the horrible things she has done, but realising that she herself had been through horrible things, understanding her and letting go of the hate for her has really helped me. i think thats what crystal needs to do. while her mother is not a good example. i dont think it makes her a bad person.
thankyou for expressing your comment in that way, it was really refreshing lol im not so good at saying what i mean.. in such a way. :/
Yeah, there’s little doubt that you could get your sister out of there by court ruling. Yeah, I’ve known people who have been abused in foster care, too, and there are all sorts of other complications with it, so that might not be the best option. But she’s old enough that even if your sister can’t get custody of her, it’s possible that she could become an emancipated minor and have her support de facto.
maybe she needs help, a little compassion, she is a human too. a person with feelings who has a heart. show her what you wish she showed you, the love she also deserves. just consider it? she already sounds like she has low self esteem is putting her down, not making the situation worse?
to be a verbally abusive person, it shows that something is not quite working and your mother needs help… i hope things work out with your sister. sorry if i sounded rude or whatever. just my opinion. you make your own choices at 15. if she wants to take them, she will. all you can do is be there for her. blaming your parents, just gives you an excuse. thats my view anyway.
you did actually say ‘im one of the good ones’….. think thats what annoyed me but i didnt mean to sound like i was attacking you. sorry.
@Findingvanessa - I’m never mean to my mother’s face. I’ve walked on eggshells around her at all times because I don’t want to push her buttons. I hate conflict of any kind. She calls me when she’s drunk and apologizes for being a terrible mother even though I’ve never said anything to her. And that comment to grammarboy about being one of the “good ones,” I wasn’t referring to my sisters and myself. I was talking about being able to turn my life around and not become what statistics said I should have.
@Findingvanessa - Oh, I agree. I know that people get to be who they are for reasons. Everyone is really just broken inside. You, your mother, Crystal, her sisters, her mother, and everyone else have been though terrible things and need love and healing, not hate. I just don’t think that understanding is going to improve her sister’s life right now. Her mother chose what path she would lead in response to the things she’s been through, same as anyone else, and she chose the wrong one. She’s had her chance, and now she’s perpetuating the problems in the next generation. I’m not saying it’s too late for her, but I am saying that she can’t be entrusted with the care of a precious child. It is too late for turning back where that’s concerned.
I believe that parents should set an example for their children. They are parshaly to blame in this kind of a situation because of being a horrible influence. But, you can’t blame it all on them, because it was your sisters choice to start in the first place.
All you can do is be there for her, try to set an example, love her, ect ect. Sit her down and talk to her (although i know this is hard to do with a 15 year old, because teenagers don’t like to listen).
Good luck sweetie!
*hugs* I’m very sorry, Crystal. =(
As one said it is the persons choice to make the decisions they make~I got so mad at my moms oldest for blaming her for his own mistakes. She may have not done all the right things and she may have made mistakes, but doesn’t give him the right to point the finger at her and say all he did is her fault~yet I do agree that it is the parents who set the example to the children and it does start with them.
I am sorry that this is going on with your sister. I hope she can get through this and come out better. *hugs*
so sorry that has to happen. but you are still her sister, you can help her out, get her out of that shit.
sorry to hear that
I’m so sorry dear. My baby sister who is 9 is getting into anorexia. Because my father tells her she is fat and unworthy. She is into porn because he tells her she needs a man. I don’t blame anyone. I blame circumstances. I want her out of there. I love my father. I do not like him.
I’m so sorry you have to watch your sister going through this……parents are suppose to protect their children, not lead them into things like drinking or doing drugs…..children learn from their parents and if they see them doing those things, then they think it’s alright for them to do it too (not always, but a lot of times)….this is why I took my children and left my husband when they were little, because he did both (and why I quit drinking at the same time)….I’m glad you were able to overcome the difficulties and become the person you are today…..I will say a prayer that your sister can get away from all that…..