August 27, 2010
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I Don’t Always Know the Answers
So the other night my sister Rachel went to my mom’s. My mom got drunk and started being crazy. Again.
So my step dad told Rachel to take Taylor to a hotel for the rest of the night. Well, Rachel isn’t 21 yet. But anyway, I guess previous to this, my step dad and sisters sat down and wrote out a contract, if something happens, Rachel can have custody of Taylor and he will financially provide for her. Anyway. Yesterday my sisters went to social services and explained the situation. They said that they will have a meeting and provide counseling or whatever. Yeah, like that’s going to do anything.
And now my step dad is saying things like, they’re a family and they stick together, and my mom just had a little set back. Ha! Yeah, a set back that’s lasted like 10 years. What’s the difference between a set back and no hope for change? My mom lied to her boss’s son, and claimed that Rachel tried to say that our step dad tried to rape her. WHAT?! And now my mom and step dad are saying that Rachel’s lying about the abuse and there’s nothing wrong.
I do not want my sister to live there another three years, but I don’t know what to do. I can’t take her…. there’s no room in my house and I can’t afford it. Taylor has no where to go, but she CAN’T live with my mother for three more years. It will destroy her, like it almost destroyed me, and like it destroyed Rachel. I don’t know what to say to her. I don’t know how I can help her.
I just don’t know.
Comments (20)
That is so sad. I just don’t know either. You know, if you take her, there are programs that could help you. Food stamps and Medicaid and a monthly check. Maybe you could look into that?
OMG, a “ten year setback.” Only an alcoholic, or a co-dependent of an alcoholic could trivialize a situation that way with language.
It’s sounds like you are struggling to protect your siblings? Are you an oldest child? I’ve just written about that; I’m going through something like that, and it SUCKS.
I wish I knew what to tell you to that would help.
you’re smart, though. keep thinking.
There’s nothing I can say that will help, except don’t give up. Keep fighting.
I’m sorry for the dysfunction
rise above, rise above. bring positivity into everyone’s lives by focusing on the positive within your mind.
Maybe try to get Taylor to spend as much time with you as you can spare and allow her to be away from that environment. You fully know what your mom and stepdad are capable of, IF you were able to take Taylor, could you deal with the aftermath? Is there some way you and Rachel could work on this together? And now this puzzles me even more that Rachel would confide in your mom…
That is hard. But you know you could always have sleep overs and stuff like that so she isn’t there all the time..constantly. And I am sure you will eventually find some way to get her out there for good *hugs*
I wish I had the magic words to help you…like mtngirlsouth said, maybe you could look into programs that would help you to get guardianship of your sister and the programs that will help you financially….
You can only do so much, You’re so young yourself. Have Taylor over as much as you can. Talk to her about the current situation. You might need to go and speak with child protective services and they can suggest options with you.
Sometimes there is no right answer. If you can’t afford it then you can’t afford it. Stop taking the world on all by yourself. Brainstorm as a family. Fundraisers work great. You shouldn’t be expected to fix it. Smile? : )
There has to be a way around this, its also a big burden to bear.
Anytime a complaint of child living in a dangerous situation with an alcoholic childrens services have to investigate. The best thing you can do is stay in contact to make sure the child is safe.
That’s a tough situation, and the only advice I have is for you to spend as much time as you can with your sisters, and just try to stay positive for them. I’m sorry, girl…… I really hope things start to get better for ya’ll!!! ….. try to tell yourself that there is hope, and just maybe that will help. =)
Oh Darlin’ I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this.. I have 4 younger siblings and a Drug addict for a father, It’s hard when you’re trying to protect them but nothing you can do. Finally since I was old enough to be out on my own, but was in the military and therefore could not obtain custody, and my mom wouldn’t step in, I hired a P.I. and got proof of his mental abuse (he never laid a hand on them but you can only watch you father OD so many times before it starts to mess with you) and got them moved in with one of our aunts until they were old enough to make their own decisions about where to go. They all still keep in touch with me, and were lucky enough to find a foster family that was able to take all four of them at once. They are all successful, and now that my father is sober, we all have a good relationship with him as well. I wouldn’t presume to offer advice as I really don’t know the whole extent of the situation, but I hope that in the sharing of my story you find strength and that in that strength comes clarity, and the right thing to do will happen into your life.
I wish your mom all the best in her struggle, and I hope that for the sake of you and your siblings she cleans up her act as my father did.
That sucks.
You just need to be there for her. Support her and if the worst happens she can come to you. Shes your blood, she has only you, find a way .
BIG HUG TO U.sorry that i can’t help in anyway.=(
Oh gosh I’m so sorry about your sister O_O
But I’m confused. Is Taylor a third child or is she your mom? o_o
@Shavanna - Taylor is my youngest sister.