August 23, 2010
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Don’t Worry, I Did It Just For The Attention
So, yes, you’ve caught me. Good detective skills. I post all about my pain and grief for the attention. Good job. Sherlock Holmes should kick Watson to the curb because you’re the best fucking detective EVER.
Well, EXCUSE me for giving hope to other people. I’ll make sure I never do it again. Indeed, I will post about how much life is a fucking bitch and everyone has problems. Yep, life sucks. My life sucks, your life sucks, and it’s never going to get better. Ever. There is no hope in the world, and there never will be. You’re right, I’m wrong. No one needs to hear about my problems. I’ll just let everyone keep being depressed. No one deserves some inspiration. You’re right.
Better yet, Xanga should just cease to exist. Everyone here who writes personal posts, STOP RIGHT NOW. You’re not allowed. So I guess Xanga is done for, because none of us are allowed to write about our pain. None of us are allowed to get support from our friends. No, you must suffer alone. Because Watson’s replacement said so.
I guess there’s no such thing as a genuine person who wants to help others with their story. NO, that just doesn’t exist. What the fuck was I thinking? Obviously, it’s all for attention, then.
I hope everyone realizes everything above is sarcastic….
The truth is, I write about it because I want people to know that they are not alone. I have gotten SO many messages and comments from other victims that tell me I’m an inspiration because I’m standing tall (well, short. I am 5’1″) and strong. That I give them hope.
I really appreciate everyone’s comments. I read every one of them. Thank you to others who shared their pain.
The people who said I write these posts for attention are making assumptions about my character. Anyone who knows me and reads my blog and talks to me knows that I am genuine, caring, honest, kind-hearted, and warm.
No one has to trudge through life alone, and my posts help people realize that. I am no longer depressed, suicidal, or a cutter. I am mostly mentally healthy these days, and PTSD is a recent but distant memory. I have my days like anyone else, but none of this has a grip on me anymore. If I can survive, you can too.
<3
Comments (62)
We can,and it is easier when we share our journey with one another.
Your post definitely was a great one to help others realize they are not alone. It helped me to realize that if you can work through something like you went through that I can work through my problems. Yay for sarcasm btw!
I’m glad the positive comments far exceeded the moronic ones.
I can’t take when anyone has the nerve to try to tell someone else what they can and can’t, should or shouldn’t write about on their own blog. I once read a blog by someone I wont mention who said people should keep personal posts such as ones about rape on private or protected. He was complaining about having nothing good to read on Xanga. As if we write personal, painful shit for the reading pleasure of others.
Thanks for writing what you wrote. No one should ever feel the need to hold back from venting or expressing themselves about ANYTHING on their blog.
Whoever said that you wrote that post for attention is just a plain ol’ moron.
That’s dumb. You don’t have to have motives. It’s your blog. Your space = your thoughts. Some people are jerks.
O_o WOW! You open up and tell your horror story and somebody says something like that! Just…..wow.
1) You’re funny.
2) Your grace under pressure is refreshing.
3) I support you making me feel like I’m less alone, and perhaps feeling like you’re less alone because you know I understand every word you say.
I feel like a slow clap is in order after reading this. *stands up and begins a slow clap*
Tell im girl!!!!
You are wonderful, and I’m really sorry that someone had the nerve to say something like that to you.
It’s therapeutic to write about your pain, and it’s therapeutic to others who have gone through it to read about yours and know that they are not alone. Obviously this person feels really horrible about themselves for some reason and feels the need to put down others.
Just do you <3.
Some people can be moronic fuckwits. I love reading personal posts. Perhaps some day I’ll be as brave as you and write a few of my own regarding painful moments. I’m kinda shy about that sort of thing. But it’s gotta be good therapy, right? To get it all out?
I’m sure people are just jealous because you get on the front page a lot just because you are genuine and easy to relate to. I was at first.
But then I realized I totally don’t want that much attention, that it just magnifies how much I generally hate people.<3
Your posts give me hope. A hope for a brighter future without blood shed and razors.
I think that posts like that can help people and it’s why I’ve written about my experiences, or what I’ve been through different times. But, there are always going to be people who are jerks and say you do it for attention. I’m glad you write posts like that.
I think that writing personal posts on here can be very soothing.
I very seriously and truly hope you do not stop writing. You are an encouragement, and you being brave enough to put yourself out here and write about it is so encouraging and helpful. We need more people like you.
For what it’s worth, I have never read any of your posts and even remotely thought “Oh give it rest already!” and I have never gotten the impression that you’re a drama queen, looking for attention or feeling sorry for yourself. Those people just have no idea what you’re talking about. Most likely they have never gone through the stuff you write about and therefore since they can’t understand why anyone would want to “dwell on it” then their logic says that you MUST be doing it for attention. People like that can’t understand that when it comes to certain kinds of lfe experiences–to talk about it is not to dwell on it for attention’s sake–those topics are just always there in your mind’s landscape. Someone above called those people ”moronic fuckwits”….good choice of words.
This is one of the most inspirational things on this goddamn site
I used to attack people who wrote about how they were suicidal and overcame it. The posts would make me so angry and I didn’t really know why. Then I realized I was jealous. I was so jealous that these people had the courage to overcome their problems and ask for help that I didn’t realize I wasn’t angry at them for posting things – I was angry at myself for suffering as I did for so long.
But you know what? People like that, in combination with a lot of other things, eventually handed me the strength I needed to get help on my own. These days, I could write my own triumphant post.
So, you are most definitely inspiring and helping out countless people on this site. You might even be helping out the nasty ones in ways they don’t yet know.
It seems like you’re not deterred by what they’re said, and I’m so glad. Your posts are raw and real, and they seem so incredibly genuine.
WOW!!! <3333
Ignore the ones who are saying those things to you. They aren’t worth the time of day or night. You know what you do is good and that is all that matters(especially to those whose lifes you are touching
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@seedsower - Absolutely.
@JoyousMemoriesPhoto - I’m glad that my writing does that for you. It makes me happy to know that I’m making a difference.
@ShimmerBodyCream - Me too
@quasarglow - I read that post too, and was glad when people wrote response posts.
@SerenaDante - Agreed!!
@kkrriiissyy - Thank you! Some people ARE jerks!
@mtngirlsouth - Yeah, the nerve, right?!
@quodmenutriut - 1. Aww thanks =] 2. Thank you, I do the same thing at work too, lol! 3. Thank you so much. I am happy that my words resonate with you
@queenof__hearts - Aww you’re so nice! I’ll clap with you! *claps*
@CedricNewmoon -
@xo_alisonn - Thanks sweeite, I think you’re wonderful too. I won’t let a couple of morons keep ME down!!
@MidwesternShenanigansIN - It is good to get it all out. Even if you write it in a private or protected post, writing about it helps. It helped me SO much. If you want to, you can leave it publec… but it’s completely up to you. Do what you feel comfortable doing
@None_May_Have_Her - It’s okay, I know that sometimes people don’t like reading it because it also magnifies what they fear, and haven’t gotten past. I think that since I’ve gotten “better,” I like trying to help others, and it makes me happy knowing that I’m making a difference. Some people just don’t like their thoughts out there for everyone either
@TheCrimsonSlash - If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to send me a message. I’m glad that you have hope reading my words
@Shining_Garnet - I’m glad you write those posts too.
@Thatslifekid - It definitely is.
@Starshine_Faerie - Thank you so much for that. We do need more people like me
@fargoneandout - Haha I like your sarcasm!!
@SophiElizz - Thank you, that means a lot to me.
@the__undergrounds - This means a lot to me, to know that I’m helping so many people. I can understand the jealousy, because I was jealous of happy people when I was so depressed. I’ve never talked about just how bad my depression was, but it was really bad, and I couldn’t help but feel jealous.
@amandajoy0514 -
@imasilentheart - Aww thanks Amber =] You’re one of my good friends here, and I appreciate your words
You’ll never be able to escape morons. The best you can do is to try to ignore them.
I’m sorry that anyone was cold-hearted enough so say such things. People need to vent and express themselves. It’s healthy physically and psychologically. If they don’t care to read it, they really don’t have to. That’s the great thing about the internet! >.>
Write your heart out. Even if it’s just you writing a 10 page long blog saying nothing but “Pickle”.
@Pandiie_Bear - I shall have to try the “pickle” blog once
@crazy2love - I’ll bet you it would make front page.
Haha!
@Pandiie_Bear - OMG! I could put hidden messages in there!! lmao!
no words.
@crazy2love - and count how many people actually get it? XD
People are idiots. The rest of us know that you’re not like that. =]
u liek t0t@llie did it 4 teh attenshun
LOL JK you actually care about helping people because you have a heart :]
Sorry people are assholes. You’re awesome, and a big inspiration for a lot of people. Everything in this post needed to be said, and I’m glad you said it! Just keep in mind all the good you do and don’t let morons bring you down
<3
You know, fuck em! Idiots are everywhere, and sadly we can’t do anything about it, except not lost a damn minute of sleep because of it.
Sadly for them, they don’t and will not ever have the courage to say something like you do, and express their true feelings, so they don’t go around insulting other people.
*hugs*
“I am genuine, caring, honest, kind-hearted, and warm.” You can be all these things and want attention. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting attention; it’s part of the human condition. It’s part of interacting with other people and wanting to know they hear you, they care. There is a difference between posting things you care about and want attention to be drawn to, and only caring about the attention you get from posts. (and I assume you’re in the first group!)
There’s always some jackass who makes idiotic comments. I think it happens most on the best posts. They are bitter, angry people who want to make everybody around them bitter and unhappy too. When you write a good post, and get a good response, they become jealous. Pitiful really.
I’d say ignore them, but that’s not so easy. I will say you are much better than they are. I don’t even know you, and I have found your posts inspiring. If they can’t handle that, let them go mope. Or something. Keep up the great posts, and I’m happy things are going well for you.
Applause applause applause! I love this! THANK YOU!
We have social networks for the very reason that people need one another. I just came from a hospital where my wife is, and assisted a woman my father-in-law’s age who was in extreme pain.
For those who are actually awake, these situations present themselves. large and small, just about every day.I am glad you are feeling stronger now.
Some people are just a bunch of dickheads. I’m sorry you had to encounter them.
Haters are gunna hate.
I believe I saw this on the front page of xanga. Good work girl<3
*sigh* It is Watson who should kick Sherlock Holmes to the curb, as Sherlock is the detective.
Agreed and people who say you post for the attention can suck [I have been in similar shoes before] and whats the point in a blog if you cant post your life experiences, thoughts anything no matter deep, pain and grief ridden they can be. Hell if people can post how self absorbed and shallow they are then why cant people who have some depth post something with substance?! [blegh I hate my run on there] but ‘Watson’s replacement’ can bite the big one!!
..::DEVIN::..
*sigh*
people are assholes
keep on doin’ what you’re doin’
People like the low life who said you were doing for attention and the comments I read from one individual, are nothign mroe than their pathetic plea for attention.
Thank you for sharing and giving hope and inspiration to all of the rest of us who have lived through this. I hope you continue to blog and do not let the half braine didiots stop you from saying what you want to share to help others.
There is nothing at all inherently wrong wanting attention, we all do to some extent, and anyone who points it out as a negative thing has issues of their own to work out. All of our profile pages, rants, opinions, etc., is there for us to get some attention, to be appreciated in a different way than usual. I only made my profile because I felt that even though I’m not honest with anyone in my real life with the sort of thing I do, I can at least vent out how I feel (or lack thereof) on here, under the guise of anonymity.
Props to you for calling it like it is, nothing wrong with wanting attention, it’s how we get noticed.
To be fair, you are writing it for attention, but in a positive and constructive way. It’s like if someone said Bono likes to talk about Africa and charities just for attention; well yes, but by calling attention to issues it helps other people have better lives. Keep it up, I can see how you’d be an inspiration to people.
When someone tells me to shut up and to stop typing certain things….I tell them “You’re the one who clicked the link to this. Didn’t you? Blame yourself. You didn’t HAVE to read it, no one forced you to. BACK. THE. FUCK. UP.” I don’t think anyone should ever be told what they can and can’t write on THEIR stuff.
I hate to be so raw, but fuck ‘em. Obviously the message went over their heads. Where it counts, where it matters, people are listening and taking inspiration where it should be applied to become strong. I think you’re just amazing and brave to be willing to share yourself with perfect strangers….even the ones who just don’t get it.
sometimes having an online journal is the only safe place to rant and get it all out. Who cares about all those ppl who dont understand and critisize…..take care
the truth.. I belief is only u who know….
don’t care bout what ppl said, just write what ur heart content..
share ur pain will light up ur burden…
salam…
I have nothing profound to say, however I will say that reading about your struggles makes me sad because I resonate with a large amount of it, so I KNOW how those life experiences can leave a mark.
You’re clearly a survivor, and a survivor who isn’t completely hardened, and is instead willing to be vulnerable and transparent to those around them is beautiful.
Maybe you are looking for attention, but there is always a reason someone would look for attention. they wouldnt do it for nothing
right on
Ignore the morons.
@quasarglow - wow what a butt head!!! thats whats blogs are for, whats that guy thinking? lolol =P
Now who said that? Very idiotic honestly. They don’t have to read if they don’t like. I’m glad that there are people that feel the same way as myself..and I like to help them as well..and your posts are very inspirational to a lot of people. Including myself. You’re very honest and I quite like that about you. Keeping sharing! Keeping bringing people like me hope in their lives..
Very inspiring you are, sweety! Thanks to you! hugs…
no, you enjoy this because it’s part of your growth.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJZH39R0FR4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68ugkg9RePc
eiffel 65 is one of my favorites. i’m too rational for music.
I think it takes a lot of strength to get your life story out for everyone to read. I praise you.
youre so sweet!! keep doing what youre doing, because its fantastic and so are YOU!!
Alright first off whoever said that needs a reality check. It’s YOUR blog and you can say whatever you please. And really even if you we’re doing it for attention cyber attention isn’t always that much. Why does anyone write blogs? So people can respond to them and for help and what not. Keep doing what you want. Forget whoever said that to you. You’re beautiful:)
Sounds like you had a close encounter of the stupid kind. I hate people who try to dictate what we write on our own damn blog.
I had no people were saying that you’re crying for attention. That’s dumb. You’re obviously struggling, and you need some support. No matter what I’ll support you. Fuck what they think, whom ever they are. I’m here for you. We all struggle, and lord knows I do.
Are you okay?