August 4, 2010
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It’s a double-edged sword
It’s a double-edged sword, that’s for sure.
I’m sick of being single. I want to be in a relationship. I want to find the someone for me, I want to settle down, I want to start a family. I’m getting restless, and I feel like nothing is ever going to happen. When am I going to start the rest of my life?
At the same time, I don’t approach anybody. I don’t put myself out there. I pretend like I have the confidence to do it, but I don’t. I’m afraid of judgment, of rejection. I’m terrified of getting my heart broken. I’m scared of opening myself up and letting someone know me in such a way. I’m afraid of being hurt. It all paralyzes me.
I wonder how many missed opportunities I’ve had. How many times I’ve had that chance and not taken it… that person could have been the one.
It’s a double-edged sword.
When will I start living the rest of my life?
Comments (28)
I can touch your boobies but I can’t knock you up.
We can adopt a kid from China.
If you decide to fall in love, you got to accept the fact that people are going to hurt you a million times over, but trust the person who really likes you not to. Love, I guess, is the type of things you don’t half-step or try at.
without family one is a leaf fallen from tree, good decision to go for family:)
you have to pick one. uh oh.
<—– Same way!
D;
As for right now tho, I don’t really want a relationship, I just want something fun, but even that is hard to find.
My fun went off to win back the love of his life.
Poopers.
You and I are very similar in this. Even though I want to stop being single, I’m too scared to even try to find someone who’s worth it. After being alone all my life, I want someone that I can laugh, cry, and live with.
Easier said than done, I know.
in my young, yet experienced (o_o) opinion, i’d say try to work on not thinking about rejection. the more you put yourself out there and have fun, the more men you’ll meet. also, try to think less about settling down and more about having fun flirting and what not. if you focus on finding a life mate, men will sense that and run… just try to live in the moment and your soulmate will find you. seriously.
I feel the exact same way! Im tired of being single and it gets very lonely..i want someone to hold me every night lol i know i sound lame..but if you ever need anyone to talk to im here =)
aw hon. You always have to wait for everything great. If life wasn’t like one big scavenger hunt, we’d all have over populated the world by now, besides, they say “half the thrill of the kill, is the hunt.” It’s always when you’re not looking that you find what you really needed, even though you already looked in that same spot twice.
Hugs, you will figure it out. I agree with ohletitbe, it’s always when you aren’t looking that something sneaks up!
I feel like yanking my hair out and crying, almost every single day. It’s partially because I’m alone, because I don’t have that person that I can insult and laugh with, but mostly it’s the feeling of it never ever happening. There is no comfort. None.
@ShimmerBodyCream - This made my day
I feel the same as you. I mean, I’m younger. I’m 17, but you just haven’t found the right one yet, and you don’t need to rush. I can understand, but if you want to find someone, you should go to local bookstores (avoid Starbucks unless you like the peacoat, Liberal, Harvard boy who blogs all day on his MacBook Pro) or coffee shops or delis. Strike up conversations with anyone. If they don’t like you, it’s their loss, not yours.
I hope you find the guy who’s right for you soon. I’m guessing your feelings are telling you you’re ready and you’re putting the vibe out there. I like what “ohletitbe” said.
Hun, If you cant be happy being single, you wont be happy. If you cant accept being single. Your not ready for a relationship. When i finnaly got happy and accepted being single for 4 years..yeh sad i know…but i did and finally i met the right guy. dated for 2 years and finally got married. Wooo its awesome
so maybe just accept singlehood while your in it. And soon when the time is right you will find the ONE
@Her_Journey - Ha, I’ve BEEN single! My last relationship was 2 years ago, and I wouldn’t even call that a relationship… it was a 1 month fling! I’ve been happy being single, preferred it. I’m just ready to move on now.
I’m currently in a long-term relationship of 4+ years. And I’m in it only because I don’t want to be alone. It’s a chore every day to stay in a relationship that isn’t meant to be, and it’s exhausting fighting the inevitable.
I stopped believing in the concept of my “one” true love many years ago. To me the hard part is finding a person I am willing to trust because I believe that true love is a gift I can give freely, but it won’t be a relationship until that love is returned, also as a gift. And that cannot happen behind a curtain of lies and dishonesty. Very, very few people have the strength to hear the truth of their love’s life and still accept them, because it reminds us of all we work so hard to hide.
To accept the truth of another life you must be willing to face your own.
We’ve all been there! Just try to be patient, and never ever settle.
When the time is right it will happen. You won’t know it, you won’t be able to start it or stop it. It will just happen. Pressing for it or worrying about it are useless. I know pressing and worrying are worthless from first hand knowledge. When I wasn’t looking for it…..it hit me up side the head…..so to speak.
You will start living the rest of your life when you take a breath and go after what you want. Life flies by so fast and you are an old lady before you know it. Grab it while you can and make a ton of memories on your path.
It’s a frightening thought, putting yourself out there. At least I think it is. I wouldn’t even know how to go about it these days. You’re young, smart, beautiful and fun and that should be attractive in itself. Wishing you much luck. You shouldn’t need it. But don’t get into too big of a hurry…
I wonder if there is a correlation to time on Xanga and time alone or unhappy, Hmmm. Reality is you don’t like being alone it goes against human nature but it’s safe and comfortable. That’s dangerous because you can complain about it and get sympathy but never act in a way contrary to it. The truth! We do the things we really want we do! If what you said was true and not just a thought that sounded good at the moment, We never would of seen this post, your need would have over came your fears and you would be out finding what you need.
@grannyinboxers - What you said was probably the most meaningful thing said on Xanga all day. So let me repeat it, life flies by so fast and you are an old lady before you know it. Grab it while you can and make a ton of memories on your path. Side note: I didn’t notice your name till I replied to you, Nice!
When faced with a wall, you can stand and stare at it, dig under it, climb over it, walk through it, or go around it.
Which options work best for you?
Me?
Oh, I just go walking somewhere else.
love is overrated
@crazy2love - I know how that was. I was always wanting to be with someone. even when i was alone i couldnt handle it. I hated loneliness. But now that im married to the one. i still face lonelyness when he is at work.
its like we have to learn to get over the lonelyfeeling. hope you find the one hun, he will be special and you will feel amazing but dont let that stop you from feeling amazing now.
hugs
Who are you telling? I haven’t had any luck with the ladies or guys. Well other than the ghetto guys or bums that seem to be fascinated with me. I’m convinced I’ll be single till I’m 90 = (
i hear ya. i’m so ready for something to happen already…., but like you, i haven’t really tried to do anything about it… hmm…