August 2, 2010
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Attacking Fellow Bloggers
I’ve posted about this before, but I feel like I need to do it again.
Writing posts that attack other bloggers is unnecessary, and completely uncalled for. I just read Dave’s post about the whole SassWithClass drama, and it made me feel like I should bring this up again.
Listen, just because we’re communicating through the internet, and not IRL, doesn’t mean anything. For those of you who think this, you are shallow, and you obviously don’t put too much stock into ANY relationship. Honestly, have you ever been to another website where strangers are such a community? Xanga is so unique and special, and we grow genuine relationships and friendships here. Some of us talk to each other every single day. How can you NOT think that that isn’t special? How can you just throw that aside like it means nothing? Because it DOES mean something, to a lot of people. This isn’t “just the internet” for a lot of people.
With that in mind, it’s NOT okay for us to launch such attacks on each other. People’s feelings DO get hurt, and people DO get upset. It’s pretty obvious that Dave is upset about this whole thing. I don’t know all the details about it, but there are people involved that really are hurt.
In my opinion, attacking others isn’t okay anyway. Even less so when so many here are close. Even if it’s not an attack, airing your dirty laundry with another blogger isn’t okay either. Things like that belong in private messages, not public blogs for all to see.
I understand that many eat the drama up and they secretly love it, but not me. I think it’s ridiculous.
I know people are going to comment this post with things like “Edit your friend’s list if it bothers you that much.” Well, I shouldn’t have to do that. See, I genuinely like everyone on my friend’s list…otherwise I wouldn’t be your friend! I WON’T edit my friend’s list, because besides the stupid drama, I love reading all the OTHER posts. Everyone here is different, and I care for and love all my Xanga friends for different reasons.
I think Xanga has been too drama-filled lately, and it’s really sad. It makes us veterans want to leave because the newer wave of xanga seems too be too much about drama. Those of us who have been here for 5+ years ARE leaving, or HAVE left. I don’t think it should have to be that way.
The next time you want to attack a fellow blogger, I think you should think about the consequences.
Comments (78)
I second that !
Agreed.
i think the only consequence most attackers think about is traffic. if not for that, they probably wouldn’t do it so often.
I have lived through a LOT of drama in the past. But this is one of the maybe 5 times I have been truly angry. I am angry that Dave has to go through this, and that he has to feel this way, and that it’s such a big deal. Angry, and sad.
I wish I could rec this about 800 more times. Seriously, this needed to be said. Bravo!
As nice as this is and as much as I agree with everything you say… I don’t think this is going to affect the new bloggers in anyway. That makes me sad.
I’ve been here for a bit and finally found myself on the higher totem pole of xanga to only want to leave with the rest of the ones who left. =[ rawr. but yes. we all do have a wonderful and amazing connection with each other here on xanga. It just sucks that we utilize it in all the wrong fasions.
I am trying to steer my boat off the drama-course.. it’s too much lately.
The attacks say a lot more about the people attacking than anything else.
Good one.
I’ve never seen a website with such drama. As much as I love Xanga, it tends to get too caught up in the drama. How is writing a post attacking another person going to do anything? It won’t do anything. At the end of the day we have our own lives. The Internet is just a small part of it. I just shake my head and want to tell these people to use their writing talents for something better cuz they most likely will never meet these people, and they should grow up.
I understand what you are saying. But, I also am a mother, and using someone else’s kid’s pic is way past the line. And, because of other blogs with links to trackers, I have been able to see several occasions where vanedave and sasswithclass, and the_x_rankings are all using the same IP address one day, and all using the same different IP address on a different day. That makes me suspicious.
I disagree. I think there are times when it’s perfectly acceptable to call people out. I actually wrote a post about that today. We cannot always just sit back and take people’s bullshit.
@SerenaDante - Well, I agree with you there. There are times that it is necessary, like when the person behind the FilmTub account created multiple accounts and rec’d their post all those times…we needed to know about that. But lately, I think too much has been made public that should have stayed private. I’m not using the whole SassWithClass issue as my basis either… I’m more talking in general about drama.
Ugh thank you for posting this. Seriously, some people are getting out of hands with the unsupported and outlandish attacks.
I agree. I think there’s a difference between informing others about bad behavior and just plain name-calling in rants.
My gosh, a voice of reason. If I could cling to your leg right now and cry tears of joy, I would. Some people just think that just because we are ‘people of the internet’ we have iron hearts and are just some creepy pedophiles or something. “Oh look, it’s an internet person. They have no feelings! Let’s bash them.”
I’ll be one of the people to agree that people do get upset. In fact, sometimes I get so upset over things that I cry.
*iron heart = figurative :]
Eh, people take this too seriously.
The people talking like that don’t actually know you anyway. Would I be mad if a stranger on the street called me an idiot? I might be a little irritated, but not mad. People need to treat xanga the same way. If it’s someone you know, cool. Value their opinion. If you don’t know them at all, just tell the to fuck off and ignore them.
End of drama.
I agree!!
@mtngirlsouth - If that tracker is right, then thebigshowatud has quite a few other accounts, and roadlesstaken is also kristigasm. I doubt that.
What is a human community without drama?
@CombinedEffort - Sometimes an IP address has to do with the server. When there are lots and lots of them like that, that is usually the case. Vanedave has said they shared the same computer, so that is not the case with him.
i totally agree with the second to last paragraph. i felt that a lot until the NY meet.
I have a page from 2004, I left that page years ago, nothing was really going on then. I came back and BAM first post attack! Some people could probably benefit from others advice but I’m sure people hold back in fear of getting attacked. If the blog is not your cup of tea then don’t read it. The thing is, it’s too easy to open a page here. There is no security. For example on MySpace, hit the block button, here any undesirable can jump on your page and spew crap.
Nice post
I know people are going to comment this post with things like “Edit your friend’s list if it bothers you that much.” Well, I shouldn’t have to do that. See, I genuinely like everyone on my friend’s list…otherwise I wouldn’t be your friend! I WON’T edit my friend’s list, because besides the stupid drama, I love reading all the OTHER posts
Makes total sense to me
@SerenaDante - Agreed, there are times when we should and when we shouldn’t. We have to know when the time is right to do either of those things.
My life is full of drama, and RL drama is even worse as it nearly ended with me on the streets. I cut off all those people that made that drama possible and try to live drama-free no matter what. I think that’s what has to be done, if you think there’s too much drama being caused by people on your friends lists then cut them off. I’m sure you enjoy those people’s posts, but sooner or later you get fed up with it and if you take positive steps like that (separating yourself from negativity); the world becomes a bit more brighter. It’s the same analogy if you cut off the rotting hand to save your life, then to lose your life. Sometimes you have to be willing to get rid of bad eggs. And attacking other people tells something bad about the attacker, and I rather not be friends with people like that.
I ignore and let the drama take its course on xanga. I have enough stress and drama. I don’t need more, thank you =)
But good post though.
I hear ya. People’s behavior towards each other has been gross lately.
Lets bash our why into xanga stardom . Are you ready? You really suck!
Now I am going to write an entry that calls you a whore. While you write one that calls me a hypercritical bitch that has been hitting on (whoever) and you have the screen shots to prove it. Then I will write …
I think there is a time and place for calling people out, I do not think it’s done correctly a lot of the times on Xanga. Anymore, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth to be around here. It’s easy to ignore many of the things going on around, but it gets tough when everywhere you look is drama. For now… I’ll stick to my little corner of the house, but I think the time to walk out of the building is getting close.
Agreed.
I have been here 6 or 7 years and plan on sticking around for the rest of my life even though most of my posts are B-O-R-I-N-G! Sad but true…lol…
And I think you are right… Xanga is special!
I remain clueless of just whom exactly Sasswithclass was and have said many times, it really doesn’t matter to me. Using another person’s child was uncalled for and that was my only issue with this entire mess. I happen to like Dave and hope that he can put this behind him.
I met my two best friends IRL within these pages. That is what is important to me. I feel like saying the cliched “Can’t we all just get along?” line.
@CombinedEffort - @CombinedEffort - what I said was that I helped her get started on xanga. I had her login info. I trusted her.
yes i agree crazy2love. Where is the love??? tipping my hat to you
great post!
I haven’t been on for a few days because my internet was down. I agree that attacking others isn’t okay. I’ve been attacked on my own posts before and it’s not fun at all. I think one of the reasons people attack is because it’s “just the internet”. It may be the internet, but behind all the screens there are real people with real feelings and I think a lot of people tend to forget that. Or maybe they don’t care.
I honestly stay out of the drama and I rarely see it on here anymore because I don’t look at the Top Blogs and I don’t usually see anyone rec the drama posts too much.
I know that I enjoy yelling at random people on the street. It makes me feel superior. So every time I’m walking down the sidewalk I spew curses at random bystanders, women and children alike. Why not do the same thing on Xanga?
Oh wait, I don’t yell at random strangers. Hmm.
@mtngirlsouth - Am I reading that tracker correctly? According to that tracker, Dave went on the Sass site 23 times on the 29th? Is that correct?
@TheTheologiansCafe - If that’s what I says, I suppose. Why? It also says he went on Vanedave 416 times. He must have been busy that day! LOL. But the telling thing is, I told him the same thing on his site, without links, and he deleted it.
@mtngirlsouth - So that was as soon as last Thursday that Dave actually went to 23 sites while signed into the site? I am just trying to figure it out.
Is there data for the 30th and the 31st?
@TheTheologiansCafe - Is that what the number in parenthesis means? I was trying to figure that out since you brought it up…because that number could represent a few different things.
@I_Create - LOL You are such a cut up! You always make me smile, you know that?
@crazy2love - I really don’t know. I don’t know how to read the trackers. I am just curious because I saw that someone commented that it was telling that the tracker showed that the sites were both accessed by the same computer. But I don’t see how a person can tell that. Others have said you can fake and draw from someone’s IP. But that is not Dave’s claim. Dave’s claim is he had access to the site but was busy and didn’t know what she was doing.
But I see that reading the tracker indicates that the site was accessed from the same IP 23 times in one day. Is that really telling? Because if they are using the same IP from the same building, then it isn’t telling. But if Dave accessed the site from his own computer, then it is telling.
But I really don’t understand if the tracker is telling or not. I don’t know enough about it so I am asking.
@mtngirlsouth - Because the fact that the site was accessed from the same IP in one day means nothing if they were working in the same location. But people keep making reference to the idea that it was accessed from the same computer. I am curious how we can tell.
Referencing SerenaDante’s post about drama, I do think there are some times when calling out people is necessary.. But attacking people just for the sake of starting shit is ridiculous.
@TheTheologiansCafe - I am not sure, because if the site was accessed 23 times in the same day by that IP, that means that Dave logged into his OWN site 416 times in the same day, and that is A LOT, especially since he hasn’t been around much at all for the last couple/few weeks. I was thinking maybe that number is an indication of how many times the site has been accessed by that IP in a certain amount of time, not necessarily the same day? I don’t know either because I don’t know anything about that tracker either.
@crazy2love - See, I agree. I am not sure that the access of the site is within a 24 hour period. But it would be interesting to read the results of each day which someone has. If it is a different number each day and it was accessed a lot on Thursday, then I wonder when the post by Sass was posted?
As you pointed out, over 400 views to his own site when he is not around is a ton of hits. Plus I believe that tracker only counts when you visit a site with a tracker. So if Dave has a tracker, then it would count how many times he accessed his own site? I am not sure. I don’t think any of the new sites can add the tracker because the tracker only works on old school xanga. I am sure someone will come along and tell us how it works.
@crazy2love - Just browsing through his rec’s and he has been busy a lot, even if not blogging.
@TheTheologiansCafe - Well, you cna put one on your own site, you just have to go to http://edit.xanga.com/claf.aspx and copy/paste the HTML code they have for you on your web stats at the bottom there.
@TheTheologiansCafe - why dont you check the ip using http://whatismyipaddress.com/ip/129.107.228.138
instead of jumping to conclusions.. just because its the same ip doesn’t mean its the same person
thats how i found out about this idiot from texas trying to impersonate my gf on my blog http://bit.ly/cgjNxP
@glennlopez - I am not jumping to conclusions. I am asking questions. Tell us how it works.
@TheTheologiansCafe - you type the ip in and it tells you where the ip came from… sometimes people use school computers which means if those same guys use the same network, it’ll be the same ip so it doesn’tnecessary mean its the same person just becuase it came from the same ip. Its better if you have all the information and deduce if that person is the same person or not using that link.
it shows you everything you need to know (who owns that ip and what isp it came from even where it’s coming from and displays it on a map).
sometimes people use proxy servers to mask thier actual IP making you think its not the same person.. that link i gave will tell you if its a proxy server or not making your assumptions clearer (:
hope it helps you guys…
When I first joined 6 or 7 years ago, there wasn’t anywhere near this much drama. Except with pro-ana sites. People were still attacking them just as badly, if not worse. I even had someone that I had never spoken to cuss me out on this site because of a pro-ana quote I posted. But I never saw drama outside of that. But then again, I also didn’t see much of a community. Xanga is so much more and better connected now than when I first joined. So I guess along with that comes drama. I don’t know.
I agree that attacking someone just to attack them is wrong. If you want to call someone out, make sure it’s for a legitimate reason. Ask for the other person’s side before posting and take that side into account on the post. If only more people thought about how the post would affect the other person before posting.
@glennlopez - But Dave is not claiming someone masked his IP. He is saying the woman is from his office and had access to the same computer.
So I don’t need to know what IP it was and I already know it is not masked.
Instead, our current discussion was centered around whether the current tracker was showing numbers based on a 24 hour period and if that means Dave accessed his own site over 400 times in one day. We are also wondering how to test that tracker and see how many times he accessed his site on Friday and Saturday.
We are also wondering about the claim people are making that it shows that it was the same computer that accessed it. I can’t see that from looking at this. You of course can figure out the problem if Dave is claiming that the woman went to his computer every time she accessed xanga. Plus, if there is a separate IP for Dave’s home and the site run by Sass was accessed from Dave’s home, then it would be odd that she went to his home every time she wanted to access his site.
Yep. Totally right on the mark.
Good post.
@striemmy - It probably wouldn’t be human, it would be The Sims.
@elizabethtravis - You can block people on here too, you can also turn on sign-in and/or friends lock.
@TheBigShowAtUD - True.
If everyone would just shut the fuck up once and for all, we could go back to the good old days. I don’t remember stuff like this in 2005 or 2006.
@rafi09 - Yeah, the pro-ana sites were all over the front page, and they had drama, but that was about it. I miss that. I think Xanga should go back to having “Featured Bloggers” like in 2008 instead of “Top Bloggers” in the main section, because then we could avoid stuff like this.
@TheTheologiansCafe - I means 23 times at that at IP address total, not just that day. But yes it means when he set her site up, as the story goes, he went to that site 23 times signed in as sass.
@trunthepaige - 23 times entering the site? Or 23 times visiting sites with a tracker? Because the tracker only records when you visit a site or visits you have made to your own site while signed in. Since Sass was new, the tracker was probably not attached to her site and those visits only represent visits to sites with the actual tracker? Or am I wrong on that front? I am just trying to figure it out.
Great post! Agreed.
@TheTheologiansCafe - if you want to check if it is the same computer and not just the same IP look at browser ID. It says it was but Dave says she set his computer up I am assuming from his home
@TheTheologiansCafe - Entering that xanga or other sites with that tracker. But there are not many of those anymore. Even mine is down
Is this the Xanga drama everyone’s talking about? Darn! I’m left out!
@TheBigShowAtUD - Sometimes people “attack” (I choose to use the word “reveal identity theft and the fact that someone was using my 14 year old daughter’s pics”) for very good reasons.
NO I will not sit back and watch someone use stolen pics and try to convince people they are themselves.
And NO I will not let somone use my daughter’s pic on their post and for their profile.
HELLZ YES!!!!
I’ve been here, with different accounts, since 2004-2005. Xanga has changed A LOT; I see individuals changing for the better, but as a whole, drama is changing us for the worse. I’ve become friends with enemies and those with opposing viewpoints and it’s taught me not only how to word things much less offensively, but that those of us who argue so passionately SHARE A COMMON GROUND. Couldn’t that passion be put toward a better cause so long as we consider all opinions valid (with a few blatantly discriminating opinions being the exception)?
Furthermore, those who say things like “shouldn’t you edit your friends list?” could have EASILY edited theirs without commenting. If they did not do so, they’re just trying to start more sh*t. It’s pointless. Friends of me have posted things I’ve had a sailors’ mouthfull for; but they are my FRIENDS, and so I overlook it and use it as inspiration for future posts with a positive edge. It works wonders.
*End Rant*
@verified_but_still_denied - If you leave I will be vewy sad. =[
@CombinedEffort - That’s precisely what makes me wonder about that tracker’s credibility.
@mtngirlsouth - He did say he was gonna be around, just not blogging much/regularly…I don’t remember if he wrote that on his blog or if he said it at the NYC meet during his comedy show. But I’m pretty sure it was said.
@TheTheologiansCafe - If you ever do figure out how that tracker works, do tell. I’m quite curious as well. I’m just too lazy and don’t wanna bother getting TOO into it right now. xD If it turns out to be credible, then that’s a whole different ball game we’re playing.
@Rhia_Pyrithea - Yeah, I am just curious to what works about it. Trackers are shown time and time again during situations like this related to people starting other sites and in most situations, the person just folds.
I am just curious to what the trackers actually suggest. If everyone is linking them and we are watching and looking at the tracker as evidence for or against an issue, then everyone needs to know what the tracker is saying.
I attacked fellow bloggers in this post.
@TheTheologiansCafe - Exactly. People seem to just assume the tracker is telling the complete truth without even questioning it’s credibility or their understanding of what the tracker is even saying.
I agree with you 100%I recently had some stupid drama over a recent post I had done, one girl went so far as to call me a used condom because i said school should educate people on the proper way to take care of your body ie. nutrition classes. If you don’t have something nice to say, do not say anything at all, if it makes you feel better to talk down to someone or about someone well you are pretty fucking pathetic yourself and maybe should be calling yourself a loser. People should have the privelage to be able to blog about whatever is on their mind without condesending remarks. All the people causing drama need to grow up.
Goooooooooooooood call
I think people are just trolling. But I’ve been here since 2004, and I just noticed the sudden increase of “slander”–I guess? On Xanga. Drama and mediocre poetry are the only things on the front page. And then of course an assortment of blogs pretaining to pregnancy. Xanga needs to find better people to feature, or something.
Don’t think it has much to do with being online… I used to think online was different from real life, but now I realize that it’s just as full of crazy people with issues. Haha.
Well, at least the drama can serve as a practice for how to deal with such things in real life?
i agree. i’ve had someone attacking me and they even made a fake profile and posed as xanga and told me to leave or they would send me a virus. i dont understand why people do stuff like this. i def recd.
Couldn’t agree more.
Well said! I say we all get together and flame the attacker and drama maker!
@TheTheologiansCafe - @mtngirlsouth - The # isn’t how many times they were on that day. It’ a total number of how many times they visited a particular Xangan’s site, in this case, whoever’s tracker that is.