December 21, 2009
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Because That’s All We Fucking Know [115]
The Dead Girl, 2006. Brittany Murphy, Toni Collette, Giovanni Ribisi.
A woman finds a dead girl on her mother’s property. She lives with her mother, takes care of her. The man that works at the grocery store asks her out. She dyes her hair light reddish brown and puts lipstick on. Her mother says that she looks like a two dollar hooker and cruelly laughs. She throws milk in her daughter’s face and calls her a whore. The glass is broken in her hand. On her date with the man, they talk about serial killers. They stop and they are in the dark, the headlights from the car illuminating them. She doesn’t look at him. He asks her if she wants to kiss him. He asks her if he needs to tie her up. She undoes his belt, and he wraps it around her wrists. They get in the back seat of the car and he says he can’t do it like that. “You just layin’ there, like you want me to rape you!” “Okay!” She says. “Okay, you want me to rape you?”
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We are broken people. We look for broken relationships. We think we want something different this time, but it’s not the truth. Because even if they do not hurt us, we hurt ourselves. We always find a way to hurt ourselves. That’s the way broken people are. We are the broken fucking china dolls in the attic no one thinks of. We have cracks in our tough facade. You think we are so tough. The truth is, we are more fragile than you think. Pick us up, and we will crumble.
The broken people sometimes think they want it better. They are only lying to themselves. Soon they come back to the attic, back to the rest of us broken people. We sip our tea from broken tea cups, and set them down on cracked china. We welcome back the broken people that wander. We brush the tears from their fragile cheeks and give them a broken tea cup, which they set down on cracked china, their cracked smiles once again on painted lips.
Broken people stay broken.
Because that’s all we fucking know.
Comments (45)
“Because that’s all we fucking know”
That is so true. I think that is why I am so drawn back to the man from my past that I can’t let go. 10 years and I still can’t let go.
Wow, this is pretty deep. Kudos.
Word.
-nods-
I can’t say that I agree with that sentiment. Broken people not even trying to fix themselves just lead to a hopeless and broken world. I’m not ready to dedicate my life to something so pessimistic. Though I do see where you’re coming from. “I want to stay in love with my sorry, but God I want to let it go.” But change is possible in those who are willing to invest the time and effort into it. In conclusion, we are in charge of our own destinies. If we want to stay broken, then we will. But the brave will step up and fix what needs to be fixed so that they can be good again. The brave will not accept that fate. And without those brave people, this planet would be a lot worse off.
That’s just my two cents: take it how you want to.
i would have to agree that we are a broken people, but subconsciously we make the decision to be this way.
after all, how did we become broken in the first place? we made decisions.
@theblowersdaughter86 - Hmm, not all of us are broken because of decisions. Some are broken children first, and children don’t have much of a choice in their situations, especially if the breaking occurs at a very young age.
It’s true. Even though I’ve gotten my life into a great place, I still feel ties to my broken lifestyle of a year ago. I still drive my crazy with my excessive thinking and will even shake because of it. And my poor boyfriend, a great guy but I’m used to lovers hurting me and he hasn’t yet that in a way I’m trying to provoke him to and he won’t. I wish I could stop, but life’s been that way for so long it’s like you said, it’s all I know.
This reminds me of something I’ve said several times. “When things are going well, I find a way to mess it up because subconsciously I don’t think I deserve to be happy.” Sometimes it’s so hard to change our way of thinking when we’ve been a certain way for so long.
Broken people are somehow attracted to each other. My past relationships were always with guys who had problems of their own. I knew I would never find a decent guy with such low self esteem and no confidence but at the same time I needed a guy who would be willing to help me build up my confidence.
A broken soul in a broken world, living broken dreams. For some of us the hurt lies so deep within us we have no memory of it, yet it still colors our lives.
But I also believe we can at least find some peace, if we choose to.
It’s hard to mend a broken, cynical heart and soul that’s for sure.
ah, sad day
The top half is fucking awesome.
“Broken people stay broken.
Because that’s all we fucking know.”
I think that it’s very easy for this to happen, but I don’t think that broken people HAVE to stay broken. It’s hard…it takes a lot of work…but we can get put back together
why are you being a potty mouth what if an employer saw this? so wrong!!! thats all we blasted know would be a better title watch your language
I wish this didn’t speak to me so much right now.
@Jeremy_Sheer - Excuse me? If you don’t like my language, don’t fucking read it. And why the hell would my employer see it?
@jupiter312 - I hear ya.
@everlastte - I do the same thing. If things seem to be going right with someone, I provoke them into treating me badly. <3
this reminds me of that wacko movie where the mom takes the kids to the grandma and then she locks em up in the attic and poisons them… i dont know why… but it did.
@crazy2love - bahaha ‘blasted’.
This is really good. And while I’m not trying to critisize your writing, I have to disagree. Broken people don’t have to stay broken. You use glue and pray you don’t get hit where the break is again because, thanks to the previous mishandling, it’s fragile in the area. “You save yourself or remain unsaved.”
I do really like this entry though, I’d O.o publish that shit in a book if I could xD.
We can learn.
@notsocharming - Flowers in the Attic. That was a great movie, based on the book. One of the few book-to-movies I enjoy. Probably because I talked about dolls in the attic
@Peppermint__Kisses - I know right!
@lewk - I hope so.
i can imagine, but i don’t understand.
BLAST YOU!
@TheBigShowAtUD - What don’t you understand? And blast me! Why?? *tear*
@crazy2love - Not like your employer can do anything to you for reading your fucking blog. Coarse language is a part of like people, get the fuck over it. Haha, wow, how many times can I say fuck in a fucking comment? LMFAO!!!!!!
@mathematicalbagpiper - lmao, I like the way you think!
@crazy2love - I thought you’d like that
Maybe we do stay broken. Yes, I think at least a small part of us stays broken for life, even if we seem to have moved forward to get our shit together. The mind….ahhh the mind! The mind never forgets and will not completely let us rest…perhaps? Yes, seems so.
i don’t know what that’s like, i mean. to accept being broken like it HAS to be that way. i dunno. it’s not me.
Broken people are too beaten down to fix the situation they are in and stand for their own good.
Dear Crystal,
I just had to read the fucking entry.
(LOL. I have a big thing about not cursing on my own blog. I use ‘fu*king” as if people wouldn’t know what I’m really writing. I don’t mind what people say in comments.) Yesterday I read an entry about Brittany’s death on Dan’s blog (after I had already posted a pulse, just cause she’s one of my favorite actresses,and I’m really sad) I mentioned her part as Krista in Dead Girl.
I remember well the scene to which you refer. Very disturbing.
Yes, some people are broken. In point of fact, somewhere we are all broken, however we can “fix” ourselves, with determination, with force of spirit, and with the support of good friends and family (if we have them) If we don’t make the effort, then we stay broken, and we die broken.
It’s up to the broken to make the attempt, and more power to you if you do.
(Of course I write this as a guy whose always seemed to find “broken “women in his life whom I tried to “fix”, and sometimes these women just didn’t want a white knight in their lives.)
Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool
Wow, powerful.
And true.
See ya in the attic
You put into words how I feel most of the time. I’ve tried everything to fix what was broken inside me back when I was 5. The only thing that works is humor. It’s what I hide behind mostly. So, lets go to the attic and have a fucking party! I’m sure we’ll have lots of company.
@CrazyIrishWench - Aww. I tend to hide behind humor a lot too. And yes, what a great fucking party it will be
Profound.
You can glue your broken doll back together and play with it and love it even more than before. Just because something is broken does not make it worthless trash.
Perfect. It’s beautiful.
i agree with tanzeia. Theres a clear difference between broken and ruined. Broken people can be fixed with simply changing life habits and making different decisions that great better options for them down the road to be repair and stored back as a whole. Ruined people however are those who have simply givin up hope, always look towards the negative and just settle for what they think is all their going to get. I see where your going with this but thats just my personal view on this….
<3
They make crazy glue to fix broken cups
They make friends to fix broken hearts
I would tend to disagree. Broken people who stay broken do so by focusing on their problems. I would say I was a broken person from 15-28. When I made a clear choice that I had enough of screwing up my life because it was the easy thing to do. Everyone has flaws in their lives. I think the way to fix it isn’t so much fixing the problem but shifting focus on your strengths. Learning what makes you strong helps to balance out that which makes you weak.
my 2 cents on the topic.
You’re right. That is all we fucking know.
Hah, I know this is delayed and way past the day when you posted, but I’ve actually never really realized that. Well, I thought about it. How I could never really recover from my depression last year, no matter how hard I tried to.
Is it bad to put up a happy front so people won’t worry about you as much? If they even cared in the first place.
@x_____snow - I put up a front too. I learned long ago that people like seeing happy people, not sad ones. Does this make me a fraud? I do not know.