December 9, 2009
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It’s Called A BLIZZARD, You Fucking IDIOT (updated) [131]
Alright, I’ve had it. I really don’t think I should have to do this, but people in general are just so fucking stupid.
So, in Minnesota, we are having what meteorologists like to call a “blizzard.” This is when it’s heavily snowing, with a lot of wind. I shouldn’t have to tell you that there’s SNOW and ICE on the road. This is Minne-FUCKING-sota for fucks sake.
In case you do not know, SNOW and ICE are SLIPPERY when you are DRIVING.
SO. That means, you don’t drive very fast and you don’t tailgate. I was driving home from work, and I was going about 40-45 in the 65. The roads are BAD. I didn’t even feel safe going THAT slow! Plus, the wind is blowing like a son of a bitch and I have an ’05 Focus, so my car is not very heavy at all. It’s actually quite light. So there’s people barreling past me and tailgating…which, the tailgating is REALLY fucking stupid because if I lose control of my car, you’re FUCKED. You’re goin down with me!
So anyway, when I’m a few miles from home yet, there’s a 4 or 5 car pile up. HA fucking HA, you retards.
So in light of recent events, I am re-posting this Minnesota Winter Driving 101 that I wrote last year. Which, this doesn’t just apply to Minnesota…you can use this anywhere it snows!!!—
Minnesota Winter Driving 101
1. Make sure you have your Winter Driving Kit: a blanket or two, a small shovel, warm gloves, some gravel or cat litter, a flashlight, a snow and ice scraper, snack foods (ie trail mix), and I suggest bringing a bottle of water with you. Don’t leave it in the car, it will freeze. You never know how long until you get “rescued” from your car breaking down. A lot of times, you may be able to dig yourself out if you go in the ditch. Hence, the shovel. Gravel or kitty litter helps if your tires get stuck. Also, don’t just spin your tires. It creates a bigger rut. Try going in forward, then reverse, then forward.
2. Leave proper distance between you and the car in front of you. I see this every year, and it’s people being stupid. It doesn’t matter if you have brand new tires or 4 wheel drive. There’s is no car or truck or anything that’s completely winter-proof. You still need to be able to brake people!! If you stomp on the brakes because you’re being an idiot and following too close, you’ll slide or go into a spin.
3. NEVER stomp on the brakes. See above.
4. Make sure your tires are properly inflated and have good tread. If money is a problem, buy 2 used tires with reasonable tread. Most cars are front wheel drive. Rotate your tires so the old front tires go in the back, and put your “new” tires in the front. Or vice versa if you have rear wheel drive. This helps with traction and braking, but you still need to leave enough room to brake slowly.
5. If the roads are slippery, you are entitled to slow down before the turn lane. If the roads are dry, slowing down before the turn lane is completely unacceptable.
6. Make sure you have plenty of windshield washer fluid. The roads are slippery. The snow plows use salt. Salt leaves residue on your windshield. You need to use this fluid frequently in order to see.
7. Leave early if it’s snowing. The roads will be bad. Guaranteed.
8. Make sure you have a cell phone. Even if it’s just a stupid little prepaid one, it’ll help you call 911 in an emergency.
9. Use your headlights. People need to be able to see you when it’s snowing. It doesn’t matter if you have a dark car.
10. It’s actually quite easy to counteract a spin. All you have to do is turn your steering wheel in the opposite direction your car is spinning. Go to an empty parking lot, make sure there are no cops around you, and practice. It will soon become second nature and you will instinctually be able to get yourself out of a spin. But, if you paid attention to rule # 2, you will not need this rule. It’s still safe to know it though. Also, go slow on turns/curves. Never brake on a curve, and never accelerate on a curve.
11. Bridges and enter/exit ramps are ALWAYS more slippery than the regular roads. Use caution.
12. Allow people to MERGE when they are entering/exiting the freeway.
13. If you have anti-lock brakes, DO NOT let up on the brake if you go into a slid.
14. Never make any sudden movements with the steering wheel. This will cause your car to go into a spin or slide.
15. If you break any of these rules, I will shove your car up your ass. Have a nice day!—
SOOOOOO……guess who got home safe and without incident?
DING DING DING!!!
That’s right! ME! ANNNND…guess who DIDN’T get home safe and without incident?
DING DING DING!!!
That’s right! The people who were going too fast and tailgating in a BLIZZARD! (This is not at all directed towards a fellow Xangan who got into a car accident earlier today…thankfully she’s okay)
(Also note the heavy sarcasm directed to the idiots of the winter road)
News update on the HUNDREDS of crashes in the metro…Update:
I saw a car flipped over on its roof on the way to work today. I almost started to cry. I HATE passing accidents like that. I worry about the people inside, if they’re okay. DRIVE SAFER!!!!!
Comments (58)
you’re mean…
@shacklebolt12 - How so? I’m honest…people need to learn how to drive!
@crazy2love - don’t take it seriously..i was just reacting to the words you’ve used for them (FUCKING IDIOT, RETARDS..)… they didn’t know…its good you’re trying to help but dn’t rub it in…
@shacklebolt12 - If you live in Minnesota, you know the roads are slippery when it’s snowing…it’s nothing new. These are people with big egos who think they are invincible because they have four wheel drive
So if I have to be mean, it is what it is. Lives are at risk on slippery roads, it’s not something you play around with, and they shouldn’t be going so fast…it doesn’t matter if they have four wheel drive or not.
somebodies gotta tell em and who better than you. thankfull i’m in texas and don’t have to worry about any sort of blizzards coming my way….
THANK YOU! I live in Ca, we hardly EVER get rain here, let alone snow. So when we get heavy winter storms, its like people took their brains out of their heads before they left the house and are perfectly content to go about their day without it. GAH. I hate driving in rain, so I can’t imagine what you are going through. I would seriously board up my house, take the phone off the hook, and email in dead until the storm passed. But then again, I’d probably be without a job because those things can last for DAYS.
@shacklebolt12 - I hate to be rude, but that is exactly what these kinds of people are. They don’t take into consideration the lives of those around them and insist that we do the driving for them.
@lizheartshakespeare - I know I always chuckle a little bit when I hear of southern states that pretty much shut down for a little bit of snow…but really, it’s not funny. Already there’s been 345 crashes, and it just started! The storm is supposed to last until tomorrow night!! I wonder how many of those crashes could have been prevented if people had been driving properly. For me, it’s not too bad because I’m a pretty good driver…I’m more scared of the people around me who might cause a crash.
@lizheartshakespeare - @crazy2love - kkk.. i’m sorry…my bad then… if they actually deserve it…
LOLOLOLOLOLOL. How can people be so dense?
Those are great tips. It’s raining here and the roads are filled with crazy Xmas shoppers. I HATE it people tailgate me when I’m on the road.
never been in a midwest blizzard. We only get a couple of inches at a time
I forget but I think the cat litter you should get is the non-clumping kind. But anyway…great tips. I think we have about 10 inches out there right now and there could be more coming.
I was actually going to write a Miami Driving 101 over the summer. lol.
So glad I live in Mississippi ha!
I think people in Houston needed this last week (and yes we’re one of those cities of idiots that shut down for what folks up North wouldn’t blink at).
>_> Work called me at 730 this morning. I WAS SLEEPING. to ask if I could come in early because it was blizzarding. I didn’t want to know that yet!
Lol, omg, if you live in any state that has snow, you should be smart enough to know how to drive in that kind of weather. What dumbasses. Sheesh, I even know how to and I don’t live in snowy areas(though I used to as a child).
On counteracting a spin: it’s a bit more complicated than simply steering the car opposite the spin.
First, it’s important to note that spin recovery is not only slightly more dangerous than simply locking your brakes and hoping your airbag works, it requires a degree of awareness and a reaction speed that most drivers simply do not have.
If you wish to attempt the insane maneuver, you should also know that to have any hope of returning your car to its intended direction, ignore what your instincts tell you and hit the gas hard.
As you begin to recover from oversteer, try to realign your tires with the direction you want to be headed. You should feel the car shift it’s slide and begin to recover traction – a moment after this point, it will shoot off in whatever direction the wheels happen to be pointed. Aiming the recovery is the trickiest part and it is why I do not suggest this maneuver to casual drivers. You could end up doing much more damage than a locked-brake spin collision.
@ElliottStrange - I’ve never had to correct a complete spin out, but I have corrected losing control and starting to spin out. Every time it happens, I don’t know how I know how to get myself out of it, but I basically stop thinking and just start doing. Thanks for this!
I live in very north iowa. have the same problem as you every year. people should get a clue :@
There are these kinds of people EVERYWHERE. Regardless of weather, they’ll always drive like assholes. In bad weather, they just seem like bigger assholes because they aren’t taking any precautions and completely disregard other motorists. If someone tailgates me, you can BET I’ll break check them. But they honk at ME. When someone cuts me or someone else off, you can bet I’ll do the same to them. I’m a vigilante driver, just to show them how awful they drive. But they don’t seem to get it.
When I lived in Michigan, we had winter cars. Beaters with heaters. One of my friends totaled his car so I sold him my winter car, big mistake.
I had to drive my VW which had very little heat and no defroster. I actually carried around a little butane camp stove to heat the car. Seems like a really stupid and dangerous idea now, but I was desperate.
I skipped down past the tips.. I live in FL after all.. I have to deal with the wet stuff and slipper roads.. not the frozen wet stuff lol
Oh the joys of the midwest.
It always baffles me how many people don’t know how to drive in the winter when you live in a place that snows every year! Ohio bugs the heck out of me because every year there is snow and there is no one plowing the freaking roads! Seriously. I never understand those who tailgate if there is snow or ice on the road. I feel like they are almost guaranteeing an accident. Good tips, by the way.
Yup. Lol. I’m in Montreal, and we’re in the midst of a blizzard as well… Same things should definitely be known here!
I know exactly what you’re talking about. One thing I’ve learned since we moved to Minnesota is that Minnesotans, especially the ones who have big ass 4 wheel drives, love to tailgate. It really, really pisses me off. And you’re not being “mean” at all. You’re saying exactly what I feel.
@TheRiverIsEverywhere - hey, now. Ohioans don’t get into huge pileups, you know. they just drive like this year is the first time it has ever snowed, here. haha. hey, UD cancelled school for two days when i was there.
We had over 400 accidents in our city because of the RAIN. If we ever got snow, they would have to shut down the city. I don’t understand how half of the people on our roads even got a drivers license, too many of them have no clue.
@TheBigShowAtUD - Hahaha, that is very true. I think we’ve had at least one snow day every year I’ve been here. Hopefully we will get some snow soon so we get a day off this year and I can go sledding down Stuart hill one more time before I’m out of here.
I hate stupid drivers. And I laugh every time I see some macho driver flying along in his four-wheel drive truck…and then further down the road I pass him sitting in the ditch. Idiots.
lol The first part of your post made me think about Serendadante’s post about fucking insertion.
We don’t get snow here, but we do get “freezing rain”. Sometimes it’s cold enough to create black ice on the road and it’s just horrible how some people don’t know how to adjust their driving to road conditions. Idiots.
The weather conditions are certainly dangerous this time of year. People need to be extra cautious.
@Celestial_Firefly - I know! Sometimes it’s not even tailgating, they’re just following too close! You never know what can happen on a snowy, icy road. Especially with the wind blowing like it has been. It always makes me nervous when people follow too closely in these conditions. =[
@comet555 - We’ve probably had over 400 here…and I wonder how many could have been prevented, had people been driving safely. But rain can be just as dangerous as snow and ice if there’s a lot of water on the road…you still can’t get any traction!
@TheBigShowAtUD - Maybe it is just because it’s the first snow storm of the year, I don’t know. But people have been driving crazy in this blizzard!
Oh, snow…how I don’t miss it.
Loved rule #15, btw. Wish I could enforce that rule on stupid drivers here…
great list.
@cutesycharm - I don’t know =[ It's sad.
@Yohkom - Still, snow and ice on the road is dangerous, no matter how little at a time it comes!
@Wild_and_Wicked - Thanks =]
@godfatherofgreenbay - Yes, you are probably right…the non-clumping kind =]
@MangoWOW - Haha you should have!
@Ampersands_Anonymous - Yea yea…
@radicalramblings - hehe =]
@into_the_lens - Aww that would suck =[
@QueenOfOreos - I know right!!
@whysocomplicated - Uggghh I know! People do need to get a clue.
@explosive - I drive like that in the summer, but not in the winter..it’s just too dangerous.
@Ricardo98 - Ha! I know what you mean about heaters not working in a car….I had a car where the heater conked out. It took FOREVER to defrost!
@Paul_Partisan - Ugh you suck!
@xclevermealsx - Oh yay :/ haha
@TheRiverIsEverywhere - I know! It IS baffeling! I don’t understand it. And doesn’t everyone have people that tell them to drive carefully?? I do! I must have heard that sentence AT LEAST 10-20 times in the last day and a half!
A reminder that’s needed every year with the first few snows, although some people will just NEVER get it. Glad you got home safely!
I grew up in Florida so Rochester New York was a very surprising three years. especially the first year, before I got the hang of it, I think i was driving in peoples yards as much as I was driving on the road. And I spent a lot of time falling down which was especially embarassing if you’re the professor holding a shit load of books, always carring a coffee, and, often as not, wearing a skirt.
Icy snowy life is not for me. Arizona is OK for now, then back to San Diego or cali coast and I hope to god that will be my last move.
funny post, you!
good tips, now only if people would listen haha, i live in jersey and we’re terrible drivers without the snow, so when it snows its even worse.
Living in MN ftl. Especially out here in the boonies, where there’s no one to help you if you get stuck.
I can imagine, here in houston though, we had snow “flurries” with rain, and you know what? The whole town went crazy, people went home early, kids got released from school early, people were driving crazy and there were many, many accidents. Half the people who have moved here from places where it really snows thought we were nuts..haha, I cant imagine what It would be like if people actually had to deal with snow here regularly. Probably wouldnt be so hectic, but man, we still have a lot of idiot drivers around here.
i don’t live in Minnesota, but we’ve had our share of crazy winters here in Jersey so i totally agree with everything you say here. i absolute abhor people who tailgate (and there are a lot of them here), especially people who tailgate when it is raining and or snowing and or super windy. in your state, i’d have to say that people who don’t know how to drive in bad weather are really stupid, because i know you guys have crazy winter weather.
i remember a few years ago there was an especially bad storm. the governor declared a state of emergency, and the major highways were closed. this was around the time that SUVs began to become really popular and common. there were lots of stories on the news of people who went out and drove in their SUV thinking “oh, i have an SUV, i don’t have to worry about the storm” and then got stuck in the snow or got into an accident because they slid on the ice. duh! and the car companies encourage this, too. there’s a radio commercial for subaru in which a guy brags about how he likes to go out and do his food shopping when there’s a snow storm because he’s the only one on the road because he’s got a subaru. there’s only so much an SUV can do for you that a car can’t, and brains and common sense are required, too. as my dad used to say, a driver’s license is not an intelligence test.
people in ohio need to learn those things. people here drive like mental defects even when it just rains. but in the snow…oh hell. I dont think Im driving this winter. not with a baby in the car. gah!
yah, it’s important to practice. I wish there was a safe spot to do this. Great tips, I’m gonna make my kids read them.
and as far as the swears go, I thought you were too soft. These people are endangering lives for really stupid reasons. I’d get the word Asshat in there somewhere. It’s a good word, and arrogant Winter drivers have earned it.
People seriously need to use their brains. If it’s snowing and icy, don’t drive 70. Just common sense.
I go to a relatively small college up in “the north country” a.k.a. that part of new york that should really be considered Canada. Almost every break we get an e-mail from a woman at the counseling center that another person from our school died in an accident on their way home or on their way back to school. Getting home faster is NOT worth the risk from speeding. Being more comfortable is NOT worth the risk from not wearing your seat belt.
Yuup. I was coming form Forest Lake to Century this morning (6:45am), and every time the wind send a gust of snow across the road, people SLAMMED on their brakes. MY GOD. I got off and took back roads… yeah, they were not plowed as good… but I have 4WD and would rather not have to worry about other drivers.
I hate it when we get ice here in Southern Illinois and people are driving like that and I don’t even drive! What’s even worse is they tend to be super-idiots (well, ok, they’re probably not any worse than the Minnesota idiots) because they assume that since we only get a little ice and snow and not full on blizzards that they don’t need to take the precautions that you northerners do. It’s just stupid. I’ve seen bad accidents here from those actions; I can’t imagine how much worse they would get during an actual blizzard. But I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be able to imagine.
thankyou! i’m from wisconsin and jackass’ are the same there too…so damn annoying!
As a native of Michigan (and headed back there for the holidays soon, woo) I was continually amazed at how many of the drivers on the road ignored these basically rules. It’s especially frustrating when people go flying by you on the icy highway at unsafe speeds, ugh.
@crazy2love - You’re incredibly lucky then; most people don’t react that well to stress situations. You’ve got good reflexes.
That’s pretty much the only thing i dislike about my Focus, way too light to handle the snow we get here in Ohio. Luckily though, today I won’t be driving it, today i have truck keys.
@crazy2love - I live in Virginia so we don’t usually get snow, but in the case of rain, or the very rare ice or snow situation, I’d just lay on the horn for a mile or so, instead of my usual tactics.
@ElliottStrange - Haha I know. I think the same thing when I ALMOST fall on my ass on the ice…I somehow make a weird maneuver that saves me!
I’m in Toronto Canada, yesterday we got a massive snow storm. Then, it slightly melted, and froze overnight.
There were more accidents today than yesterday because people fucking forgot how to drive. If it were the bad drivers that died from these accidents it wouldn’t be such a loss, but it’s usually bad drivers causing others to die.
Morons!!! We get this for the next 4 months!!!! Then rain for almost 2!!
@crazy2love - heck yes they DO know. This is why I don’t sweat it when someone is doing like 15 mph when it’s safe to be doing 35-40. I will take someone being overly cautious over someone out to cause an accident any day.
P.S. As an addition to Rule #1 - keep a stash of “hot hands” in your trunk. They make the kind that are for hunting or ice fishing that last for up to 18 hours. They are wonderful and toasty!
P.P.S Wisconsin is also home to way more winter maniacs than is necessary.
People who speed and tailgate in blizzards deserve to have a wreck. But how dare they endanger everyone around them as well?!