November 5, 2009

• The New Adventures of Old Crystal

  I have a good reason for being away yesterday, so I’ll tell you about it. I also give you permission to laugh at me, because really, I laughed when I told to my co workers today, and I would have laughed had I seen someone else do this!

  I am obviously not old, but this was an adventure, of sorts.

  When I moved, my bookcase didn’t make it. It was one of those cheap ones from Walmart or Target. So yesterday I went to Target to get a new one, because most of my things in my room goes on the shelves of a bookcase (like all my perfumes, candles that I never light, a small portion of my books…).

  I saw the cheap one, it was on sale for $16, from $24. It was one of the ones made out of cork board, and the long pieces are actually in 2 pieces instead of 1 long piece. Then I look at the expensive one, on sale for $95, on sale from about $114. The expensive one was obviously a better quality, because it had 4 actual legs, instead of the whole thing resting on the floor like the cheap one. Plus, the long pieces were in one whole piece! So I decide to get the expensive one. There was a few pieces of hardware sitting on top of the last box, and I didn’t think it went to the one I was buying, so I set them on the shelf.

  I pay for it (plus the New Moon soundtrack), and get it to my car. I have a small ’05 Ford Focus, and lo and behold, the fuckin thing doesn’t fit in my backseat. I was like, well, this is embarrassing!! So I try and think about how I’m going to get this thing home. I think about it, and I decide to lay the front seat down as far as possible and I thought it would fit laying that way. So I open both front doors and proceed to try and wedge it in there.

  I had to go back and forth from the driver’s side to the passenger’s side about 10 times, maneuvering it like you do when you’re trying to get your car out of a tight spot because the other douchebag doesn’t know how to park. But I finally got it!!! So I was driving home and my blind spot on right side was truly a blind spot. Thank god I didn’t have to do any lane changes to the right.

  It was easier getting the damn thing out of the car than it was getting it in. I only had to switch sides twice!! Now, my new house has A LOT of stairs. 4 flights. So the box is about 2 feet or so taller than me. I bent down at the knees and grabbed the box like I was giving it a bear hug, and lifted it up one stair. Rest. Repeat. Rest. Repeat. I was tired after getting that fuckin thing up here!!

  I open the box, and the hardware falls out of the cheap package it was in. So I decide to take stock of the pieces. I was short. THE PIECES I HAD PUT BACK ON THE SHELF IN THE STORE.

  So I drove back to Target, and found the parts (yay!).

  I get home and start putting the bookcase together. It took me about 4 hours. No joke. What the hell takes so long to put these things together?! Anyway, after I got it put together, I started unpacking some more of my stuff.

  Now today I had a bruise on my shoulder…not sure how that one got there…and a bruise on my forearm from lifting the box. And I never bruise!! Ugh. And my legs and biceps hurt from lifting it by myself up all the stairs. Well, at least I know it will last, it’s very sturdy. No wiggling, no bending at the middle. I feel so proud.

  Who knew it was such an ordeal to buy and put together a bookcase?

  • 4:56 pm
  • 10 Comments