October 15, 2009
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Should I Screw Her Over? (Edit)
So here’s what’s going on…
I was laid off in July for 4 weeks, and I had a lot of trouble getting my unemployment, but I finally got it all on the day I went back to work. I went 3 weeks with $1.02 in my checking account, so I didn’t pay my roommate rent. She owns the house, and I pay $500 a month (which I found out not long ago pays for over half her mortgage). Basically I stopped paying her. Maybe a check here or there, but whatever. I’m behind by about 3 months. We don’t have a lease or any other signed agreement.
I’ve talked to people at work, and they’ve all told me that I shouldn’t pay her. Here’s why…I’ve been dealing with all this shit here..the cops coming around all the time, her boyfriend has stolen my car and almost got it impounded (they thoroughly searched it), the living areas are disgusting because they’re never cleaned (I stay in my bedroom and I don’t use the kitchen). She does meth and brings all kinds of creeps around the house…they steal shit to keep up their habit, there’s broken meth pipe glass by the kids’ toys in the basement, the kids have been taken away 3 times because of all this (she doesn’t have them now, they are with their father), there’s been violence, and the water in the house couldn’t be used for awhile because the basement was flooded and the pipes were clogged. Also, they were beating the kids…and she got fired from her job a while ago, her boyfriend is in prison, she’s lost all of her friends…
They’ve told me that if she takes me to court looking for money she wouldn’t win because we don’t have a formal agreement and I could say the living conditions weren’t livable. In fact, I could even counter claim her claim. SHE should pay ME for everything I’ve had to deal with.
The other day she confronted me and asked me if I was ever going to get caught up on rent “or is it going to be one of these things that you don’t pay me? Because I need to know.” Why? So you can throw all my shit on the street before I move? I’ve been giving her a little money to appease her (which she spent on meth because she was up for about 2 days and just slept for about 24 hours), but I honestly don’t think I should pay her. I know what she’s going to spend it on.
Also, I’m moving out on the 24th =] I’m moving back in with my dad and sister.
So what do you guys think??
EDIT:
Apparently, people are confused on what’s going on here…I have been living there for a year. I moved in with my friend, she was buying a house. We had one other woman moving in, and we agreed with the mortgage and the utilities, we would spilt it 3 ways, and each would pay $500. She had no boyfriend at this time. The other lady moved out in December. Then my landlord brought 2 other people in the house. Then her boyfriend moved in, which they got together in Feb. or March. The other 2 people moved out around April or May. Sometime after that, her boyfriend started beating her kids. He brought meth into the house. The kids got taken away. He finally moved out sometime around July. I was going to move out at one point, but the county said he had to move out or she couldn’t get her kids back. Since he moved out, I stayed. After that, SHE started doing meth. A few weeks later, she got the kids taken away again. At this time, her boyfriend came over since the kids were gone and he stole my car. After that, I told her I was moving out. I started looking at apartments but couldn’t find any that I could afford. I was going to move to my mom’s, but that was a 2 hour drive ONE WAY to work. My dad said that’s stupid, why don’t you move back in with me. There’s not enough room for me where he’s currently living, and he is in a lease until November 1st. We have found a place to live, but we have to wait until the owners of the house move out.
THEREFORE, the house and my landlord (who was my best friend) was NOT like this when I moved in.
And I am moving out in 10 days.
Comments (39)
Umm. You should find a new place to live. 500 is alot for rent! plus your roomate is crap, get a tiny appartment and have the freedom of living by yourself and not having to deal with her issues and freaky boyfriend.
I would feel guilty if i didn’t pay..but i wouldn’t be nice about it, thats for sure. Thank goodness you don’t have a lease. =]
@Eternalimplosion - My dad and I found a really nice house to rent, so I am moving out on the 24th =]
I think you should pay her. Although, it kind of sucks that you live in a sucky environment due to her problems, it’s still a roof over your head. You still pay to live there. I would pay the rent and then move.
I know that she is doing wrong, but I would at least try to pay her. Even if you never get it all paid off at least you would have tried. Thankfully you are getting out of there. Tis very good.
Not a fun situation here. I’ll tell you what I would do…
I’d pay her a little here and there to “keep her appeased” as you are, but while this is going on, I’d find a place. Once I’m able to get my stuff into the new place, I’d stop paying her. And I wouldn’t pay her what I owed her on the grounds that having to deal with all that bullshit and paying her money anyway, was good enough.
Just find some place, get out of there, and if she takes you to court I can almost guarantee she will get nothing out of you. Who ever told you that you could be able to counter sue her and win, I completely agree.
This is serious. You have to pay but, how much? Message coming.
I don’t think you should pay her. Besides the fact that she’s an awful person, she’s not even providing a safe or clean environment to be renting out. If her place went through inspection to rent the whole thing out to a family, it would fail with flying colours. She sounds like she’s made sure the place is more than inhospitable, and your money is going towards her bad habits – not towards paying for the hydro/etc that you have used.
Move out and don’t pay her. If she really wanted her money she’d keep the place in good condition, and control her animal boyfriend. On that alone I wouldn’t pay her a god damned cent.
wow any way you can get out of there like yesterday? but srsly, i guess i wouldn’t pay her if i could get away with it but idk… good luck.
Also if she’s your friend, make sure she’s not any longer.
Maybe I’m obtuse, but I don’t understand why anyone is saying you should pay her. You have no agreement plus look at all the shit she’s done.
I wouldn’t pay her as much as 500, especially if you’re moving soon. Hell.. I wouldn’t even go for a 100 after hearing that. If you feel you should appease her, then pay her a little bit just to keep the roof over your head and your stuff from being thrown in the streets. Then when you do finally move, don’t pay her a dime no matter what you owe. You shouldn’t have to pay for her mortgage just for living there because she can’t do it herself.
I would probably consider taking her to court after you move, maybe get pictures even despite the records she has of losing her kids. I’m pretty sure with that and stating that even though there was no written documents stating what you had to pay, you were paying for keeping a roof over her head in a house she owns.
That’s just my two cents.
Also.. if you think of it.. even paying her like.. 10 bucks.. which is something I would have done knowing me.. Lol. After you move out.. you’re are screwing her over officially.. just in a better way because not only are you NOT paying her.. but you’re not helping her to keep her habit or her house. Sounds like a better pay off.
Depends on what sort of question you’re asking. Legally, it sounds like she probably can’t force you to pay. But morally, you did make an agreement, and if you found the conditions there so unbearable that you felt she didn’t deserve money (and they do sound pretty bad), then you should have gotten out of there a while ago rather than staying under the pretense that you would be paying her.
I’d try and make some sort of deal with her, to not pay as much, perhaps? It seems she’s been charging you more then she should be if you’ve been paying more then half her mortgage. My first instinct was to say don’t pay her, move out, end of story. But to be a good person, you should give her something, at least. It’s a tough one…
@crazy2love - sweet action.
That really sucks. Ive sort of been in a similair situation. but thankfully the car wreck gave me a very legit excuse for moving back in with my parents. lol.
Thank goodness you
I would hope you could get out of there sooner now that you describe more of what has been going on. Just get out of there and sever all ties.
Good For you, don’t pay her good to hear you have a place too!
I wouldn’t pay her. You don’t have any agreement to pay her. Just get out of that place.
whoa. you had me at meth.
@xNicolax - Yep, I am moving on the 24th..10 days!!
@DarkDestiny666 - I’ve already found a place, and I am SO excited to move!
@haloed - She used to be my friend, but not anymore. I thought she was different…but then she met this guy and her life went to shit.
@Peridot21 - Yeah, I’m moving out soon =]
@chaospet - Well, I had nowhere else to go. I can’t afford my own apartment. I found a house to rent with my dad, so I’m moving out soon. It was never my intention to deceive her in that way.
@XxTransJayBoyxX - Yeah, I’m just giving her like $100 at a time.
@godfatherofgreenbay - Oh, I will, don’t worry. I’ll probably never talk to her again after I move out.
@Cookstergirl88 - Thanks =]
point blank dont pay her and get the hell out of there…..
Why were you living with her in the first place?
I would say to pay her…not because of her, but because of the type of person (I believe) you are. (Simply put, you’re better than that.)
That said, crappy situation…I’d get out ASAP. And I have to agree, $500 is a lot for rent…
As for whether she should be paying you…perhaps that should be brought up after your end is settled? (After all, if it is ruled that way…you’ll get your money back anyhow)
It doesn’t matter if you’re paying half of the mortgage or not.You agreed to pay her $500 for the room. She did not force you nor did she tell you couldn’t leave. I think she was nice enough to let you stay during the period you did not pay her. If you were my tenant, I’d kick you out after a month and find a responsible tenant.
I truly believe that if YOU were the landlord that you’d be happy if your tenant was renting for half of your mortgage. Heck, you’d be ecstatic if s/he was paying the mortgage!
Before living anywhere, I think you should have seen the place before agreeing. Dirtiness can be seen at first sight. Meth – if you didn’t agree with her usage, you would have found a place as soon as you found out. You didn’t. Why?
$500 is cheap. I live in a big city and a bedroom cost $500-$750 here. Renting a house cost $1100-$2500 monthly. Heck, there are even studios going for $3000/mon. Although, you could always get a bed for $200 monthly (meaning there’s no place for your clutter – you are allowed a briefcase/small luggage and that’s it).
As an adult, it’s only right for you to pay her. Get another job and pay her the left over – about a $1000? At least you would have done your part. You verbally agreed to pay her $500/mon. for a room. She did not kick you out (how nice!). You should know the condition when you stopped by and checked out the place before agreeing to rent. Unless you were kicked out of your previous house/room and needed a room the day of and she let you stay. Still, you would be actively looking for a room… but you didn’t. You only did after your unemployment. Why didn’t you look before you got unemployed? Fishy.
FYI, Karma’s a bitch. You don’t want her to double the punishment.
PS. We had a tenant who was paying $400/mon. Our rent is $800/mon. We raised the rent to $500 because all her stuff was not in her room. She would leave bags of clothes in the living room (how nice when guest comes over) and other stuff in the garage (took up half of it). Her stuff smelled like overused oil. She was not happy with it. We told her to look for a place because we aren’t going to put up with her. Found a new tenant within a week and they offered $700/mon. We’re happy. You’d be happy too if you were paying $100 to live, no?
I’m assuming she has all kinds of unsavory “friends” that could make your life hell if you don’t pay.You don’t want this following you once you’ve moved and are getting your life back on track. In my opinion, it was your choice to stay there, so you owe the money.
She can’t even evict you without 30days notice (Officially have to file for it, which costs money, and you’d get a notice.), agreement or not. That said, get out ASAP. I’d pay her, you said there’s been violence, why take the risk?
@Blueandgoldx - First off, you sound like a jerk-off. Second, Maybe when she went and looked or moved in, it wasn’t that bad. Third off, not EVERYONE is going to know if they’re going to get laid off, fired, or anything until it actually happens. Not everyone in the world can instantly go out and look for a new place right away if the money doesn’t provide it. I know that even if I wanted to move out on my own, being a full time college student and paying bills that I already have.. living on my own right this second isn’t an option.
Crazy.. on the other hand.. I would just ignore the jerk-off above. XD Sorry.. couldn’t help but add my two cents. Lol. At least things are looking up for you despite the current situation. Just another one of those life lessons that not everything is what it always seems like in the end.
@SliverLines - I started living with her a year ago when I wanted to move out of my dad’s. It wasn’t like this when I moved in =[
@Blueandgoldx - Okay, OBVIOUSLY you haven’t read my blog…if you had been, you would know the entire story. I moved in October last year, and she had just bought the house. It wasn’t like this when I moved in. It wasn’t until February/March of this year that she met her current boyfriend and all of this started happening. It didn’t get bad until the last three months. She just started using in the last couple of months because of him. I haven’t moved out yet because I made the decision to move back in with my father. He’s in a lease that he can’t get out of until November 1st, and I can’t afford my own apartment. I don’t know where the hell you live, but here, a single room runs about $300/month. A decent apartment is about $800 a month, which I can’t afford. I refuse to live in a shitty apartment. I stopped paying rent at about the same time she started letting the house get in its current state, which happened to be the same time my job had a temporary layoff. It’s HER responsibility to keep the house in a habitable condition, especially considering the fact that she LIVES there.
@poet85 - Yeah, for the most part I am honest and pay my debts, but her actions have crossed too many lines for it to be okay with me. So I don’t know.
@crazy2love - ah okay. Well I wouldn’t pay her any of the money she wants. Even if she took you to court, I’m pretty sure she’d lose.
My opinion is you should move out immediately; but pay what you agreed to. You’ll feel better, and won’t have created a grudge you didn’t have to create.
Did you sign anything?
If you didn’t, I’m not entirely convinced that you are responsible for the rent.
This sounds like something I’d see on Judge Joe Brown
@IntrospectiveOctober - No, we never signed anything.
hey, you are doing more then right when leaving her
it is much better, believe me
i’m sure, you wil become more lucky after this
Good luck and never look back
thats a tough situation. btw, im happy that ur moving out, congrats. in all honestly, if i were in ur shoes, i think id pay half. til i moved out. and then id tell her why i would pay only half. technically she is giving u a place to stay, so thats ur half of paying, but then at the same time, its not a safe enviorment, so thats the half ur not paying for. paying half keeps her mouth shut, and also helps you save money for ur new place. what she uses ur money for cant really matter, becuz either way, you are giving it to her for rent. i used to pay my brother for rent and he always used it for drugs. but there wasnt much i could do about that, technically it was his money once i gave it to him, and as long as my part of rent was turned in, it didnt matter what he used it for aslong as i kept a roof over my head.
lizzy
@Blueandgoldx - um. wth? before you act like a smart ass, make sure you know what your talking about first.
thanks.
Pay up and get the hell out of there. After all, you’d said you’d pay. Just do it.
@MsButterworth311 - Yep, I agree.
Let me put it this way. If you had a a roommate that wasn’t paying her part for… as you said 3 months and YOU have to pay her part just so that you don’t get kicked out, would you be pissed? I sure as hell would. Who am I to take care of someone else when I have to take care of myself?
BTW, living in the heart of Los Angeles is pricey.
As for her mess, it’s her mess. Don’t like it? Leave.
I’ve personally rented with horrible homeowners and rented to horrible tenants.
As a tenants:When I rented, there was this homeowner who never washed the dishes for 2-3 days which attracted ants and roaches. The first time I was there (to look before renting) everything was acceptable. After a month, I saw the real deal and moved out the next month.
As a Homeowner: We were renting to a family for 2 years. They were moving out the day of (suppose to be 5 days in advance so that we could do last minute clean up but they weren’t “ready”) It was horrible! When it was time for the walk through before they could officially move out there was dog poop, dead roaches on the walls, dirty/greasy walls, a very very dirty stove, a 12 inches in diameter hole in the wall, wood (not faux wood) floors were all scratched up and dust 1 inch thick everywhere. It smelled like poop, dust and vomit. I told them to clean and fix it up, but they said “they didn’t have time.” The next day they called for the deposit. Guess what happened? Yep, kept the $4000 deposit. Took 2 months to clean the house up, lost money by not being able to rent, and it was disgusting. Plus the deposit didn’t cover the repairs.
Just pay it and forget it.
@ayoskii89 - Wow, in your 20s (the word “teen” isn’t there anymore) and you still think like this? Welcome to the real world.
@Blueandgoldx - See my lastest post. She’s using the money that her parents gave her to pay the bills at her boyfriend’s apartment. If that was my money, I would be pissed. She doesn’t deserve the money that I owe her…considering she used the money I gave her 2 weeks ago to buy drugs…and the power got shut off because she didn’t pay the bill. So we’re supposed to go with no heat because she got high instead? She lives there too. The only reason the power got turned back on was because her parents gave her money AFTER the power got shut off. She used the remaining money to turn the electric on in her boyfriend’s apartment and to buy more drugs…and probably to pay his rent too.