May 1, 2005

• If I go crazy will you still be my superman…..

  
  

  More and more I draw into myself. I don’t talk to anyone anymore, not about anything of real importance…what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling…nothing really matters anymore….

  
  

  Mindless chatter is all I can say…cracked and bleeding, laughing and crying.

  
  

  I didn’t wash my hair today, or even brush it, even though I went out to eat. I just don’t care. Putting up my daily facade at work is all I have to do to pretend. Meaningless conversations, words that don’t matter. Pretending to survive, pretending in order to die. Life has no meaning, nothing that holds any appeal. Wandering in this skin I call me, not living, dying, just am. Thoughts wander, eyes betray my “happiness”. No one will notice the slow death of me, no one will notice the light going out of my eyes at the fake laughter. No one gets close, everyone fades to the background, and I die.

  • 10:17 pm
  • 3 Comments