March 19, 2012

  • It’s like wiping your ass with glass

    So, years ago, I worked at this warehouse that was storage for advertising materials for companies. One of the clients we had was for a radio company and we packaged up kits that they would give away to callers. Then we would ship them to different radio stations. Anyway, this one time, we were packing rolls of Scot toilet paper for the kit. I don’t know why. But it was 1-ply. Who the fuck uses 1-ply toilet paper?? So my coworker and I kept making jokes about it, like, “it’s like wiping your ass with glass.”

    You know what I use? Quilted Northern 3-ply. It’s like heaven for your asshole. It’s a wonderful feeling. You think Charmin is soft? Try using Quilted Northern. You’ll never go back. I don’t care if it costs more. Every asshole deserves a little piece of heaven.

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