September 20, 2010
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What kind of parents ARE you??
Maybe I’m over stepping my bounds because I don’t have children, but I think there’s a huge problem with the current generation of parents. Every day I watch the news and see some outrageous story of something a parent did. Like the other day, they played a video of two girls wrestling and throwing punches, over a pair of shorts, while the parents watched and cheered them on. What.
This post is actually being written because I had a conversation with somebody last week that actually disgusted me.
This guy asked me what I do when I go home. Weird, right? Anyway, I tell him that I play a lot of video games, and he starts rattling off the games his kids have. One of the games he listed was GTA4. I asked him how old his kids are, and he told me they are 15 and 12. What.
For real? You are letting your 12 year old son play a violent video game?? He told me that he has no doubt his son is mature enough to handle it, because he gets good grades in school, in math particularly. I told him that it doesn’t matter how mature you think a kid is. At only 12, a child’s brain isn’t fully developed and repeatedly playing violent video games could have a very bad effect on the child. He said, “Well, in your opinion.” What. In my opinion?? Seriously?? I haven’t researched it, but I’m pretty sure what I said is FACT. I’m pretty sure that there have been studies done on this kind of thing.
Games and movies have a rating for a REASON. It’s up to parents to regulate what their kids are doing, on what’s age appropriate. I knew that some parents just don’t care, but to disregard it in such a manner is ridiculous. Why do you think kids these days are so out of control??
The other day, I saw a story on the news about a father who got on a bus full of kids who had been torturing his daughter, who had cerebral palsy. The father was upset because his daughter was now in the hospital on suicide watch. I don’t know the whole story, but it sounded like nothing had been done on the school’s end to protect his daughter, so he took matters into his own hands and went onto the bus and threatened the kids. I don’t blame him.
My youngest sister has been tortured and beat up at school. They threw her phone out of the school bus window. They made up rumors that she was pregnant. My sister was 13 at the time. It doesn’t help that parents don’t own up to what their kids are doing wrong. If the school or another parents calls and tells them what little Johnny or Susie did, they’ll deny it til the cows come home. “No, my kid would never do that!” Grow. Up. Get. Real. Stop living in a fantasy world and own up to the fact that you’re letting your kids do whatever they want with no repercussions.
This is out of control. Parents need to step up and be parents. I don’t know what they’re doing, but they need to be more responsible with their kids. You’re raising a human being that’s going to go out into the world on their own eventually. Is this the kind of society you want? Get real, people. This isn’t The Sims.
Comments (26)
In The Sims, all you have to do is stick ‘em in the pool. 83 THAT’LL teach ‘em a lesson.
@Queen_of_You188 - hahaha
My Sims parenting is PRIME. You have said all the right things here. People need to take responsibility for their children.
@ShimmerBodyCream - o ya, I remember I bought the first game and all I did was kill them x3 ON PURPOSE x3
I think shitty parenting has always existed, but there used to not be a 24 hour media frenzy that eats that shit up. The problem is that there’s no qualifications at all to being a parent (save for being old enough, which that threshold is too low). So there are people having children who in reality have no business doing so. I don’t see anything changing about who could have kids anytime soon.
I have to agree… I don’t necessarily agree that it’s bad parenting every time, or them not caring. I think it’s misinformation, not knowing the extent of violence or whatever that is involved in those games or on certain shows/ music. My neighbor bought GTA4 for her son, who is 10. She had NO IDEA what it was except that it was a car game. She ignored the warning, because a lot of things are marketed towards teens that really aren’t that bad. When she heard it in the background, that’s when she realized that it wasn’t AT ALL appropriate for Joey, and she took it away. My husband is big on Family Guy, and for the longest time I’d let my girls watch it because it was a cartoon, it was popular, Andy watched it, etc… after the episode where Stewie kills Lois, I couldn’t do it anymore. I just can’t let them watch it, at 7 and 4. It’s inappropriate for them. HUGELY inappropriate.I have to work at not letting them hear some of the music that I listen to. It’s a thin line.
I agree that certain games shouldn’t be played at a young age, but I’ve known what an AK-47 is since I was in elementary school. I’ve played violent video games for as long as I can remember and my mom never liked it, but she knew I could handle it. It wasn’t anything like grand theft auto, but I used to play counter-strike with my brother all the time. It was a serious addiction in middle school, but I was never too naive to think shooting people was okay or even a good thing to talk about all the time like most kids do. Basically, sometimes parents really do know their kids but other times, they seriously need to grow up. I also agree that parents REALLY need to take responsibility for their kids.
While I agree with your basic concept, there have been studies and most agree that there isn’t a significant link between violent video games, movies, etc and real life violence. There’s way too much else that goes into it. Basically, you’re extremely unlikely to have some kid pull a Columbine just because they saw a movie about it. There’s usually bad home life, bullying at school, mental illness, etc. People link violent media to violent people when it’s really the other way around.
But I definitely agree that there are a LOT of idiot parents out there who don’t do enough to parent their kids. For example, I have a friend from high school who is married with two kids (married BEFORE she got pregnant, btw). Her oldest daughter is less than 5 months older than my daughter (Hers turned 2 in June, mine wll be 2 in October). My daughter knows her name, her age, all her body parts except for a couple that we haven’t gotten to yet, many animal noises (“duck say quack quack!” etc), can even count to 5 if she’s focused on it and sing ABCDEFG (beyond that not so much lol). She can dress herself to a certain extent (sometimes shirts are inside out, shoes are on the wrong feet but she knows the basics), brushes her teeth twice a day, brushes her own hair, can get herself a snack from the bottom shelf of the pantry, etc. Basic 2 year old stuff. Her daughter has a vocabulary of maybe 10 words and can’t do anything on her own because her mother doesn’t teach her ANYTHING – she’d rather sit around on the internet or watching TV than parent her kids. Literally, the last few times I was over there, she was so busy on Facebook that I ended up feeding her kids, putting them in clean diapers, and making sure they didn’t drink cleaning products. She eventually put a Dora movie on the television in the other room then locked the baby gate so they couldn’t come in the kitchen and bother her. WTF!
The other extreme – “helicopter parent” – is just as damaging though. There has to be a balance between monitoring their every move and allowing them to make their own decisions (and mistakes!)
My best advice is that when you have kids, be the kind of involved, aware, caring parent that you wish these others had been. My parents were great when I was growing up – some may even say “too” protective or “too” loving, though I’d say otherwise. My wife and I are very involved in the lives of our children and set reasonable boundaries for them — ones that they sometimes don’t like and don’t understand but that they respect nonetheless. There’s a lot their friends at school are able to do that they aren’t, due to my wife and my feeling that the actions/activities in question are not age appropriate (or perhaps ever appropriate).
As for the bullying issue specifically, it’s a fine line to walk as a parent. As your kids grow, you want to teach them to handle situations for themselves and to stand up for themselves. I had a situation several months ago where my 8 year old was playing outside with two neighbor boys. I came out to check on him and found him sulking. When I asked what was going on, he finally confessed that they had all been playing some game and the two other boys had gotten him on the ground and wouldn’t let him up. I asked him if he told them to stop, and he said no. I told him that he needed to stand up for himself and not let people do things to him that he doesn’t like. I told him that I was confident that he could handle the situation but that if he ever felt like he couldn’t or if he ever wanted my help, all he had to do was ask and I would step in and that I would never, ever let anyone hurt him. He seemed to understand and smiled and thanked me. He needed to know that I had confidence in his ability to do the right thing and handle the situation but that I would always have his back.
1,000,000% agreed!
Stupid parenting is a favorite issue of mine. I have written about it many times.
I’m 51, the tail end of the baby boomers, and my generation have been shitty parents on the whole.More concerned with being better than our parents, providing more, and parenting less.The old values, like respect, have gone out the window for many.Part of this is the NEED now for two income families.Parents are people, and they are too tired from working all day to give their kids what they need. Or the stress of single parenting, of not having enough money, makes the parent take the easy way out.
And then, there is the idiotic notion that parent and child should be friends.Don’t get me started on that one.
Society must shoulder a lot of the blame. We got greedy, feminists belittled stay at home mums, and traditional values got pitched.
But sadly the real problem is most are too self centred and don’t “parent”.
Kids were always cruel. Parents are more complacent. I don’t think people are raising their kids anymore. I think other modes are now responsible for the way kids behave.
Agree, agree, agree, agree, agree. And agree some more.
The current generation of parents is pretty much a joke (with some exceptions, I know people). I’m a little bummed I’ll be grouped with them but I do actually have some sense so thankfully I will not be one of the parents mentioned in your blog.
It just really makes you wonder how this generation of KIDS will turn out………. Scary.
Definitely agreed.
3rd graders are acting how I’ve never acted. My cousins are 5 & 3 and they don’t know the difference between quiet time and play time. The basically scream at everyone if they’re trying to talk and tell them to shut up if they’re not paid attention to. They’re allowed to watch shows like Spongebob that I wouldn’t be allowed to watch until i was 10 if it were around when I was there age.
Parents need to start acting like parents again, not just shrugging off everything as a “phase” their child is going through. Newsflash: if you don’t parent while your child is young and able to be molded, then they’ll never learn the correct behaviors in situations. Psychology shows that you shouldn’t be too strict or shouldn’t be too lenient when your child is young.
It also seems like parents are too afraid of their own child in situations. Honestly, who cares if a 3 year old talks back and threatens to hit you? You still need to parent and address issues.
There are MANY bad parents out there. There is not much you can do about it, just don’t be one of them if you ever have kids. It is infuriating though, I know
Idiots should not procreate.
Its sad but true most parents nowadays don’t know how to be parents. I guess the one exception I know is the mom of the little girl I babysit. Her husband died almost 10 years ago, and she has two teenage boys and her little girl. She is probably the best mom I’ve seen. She makes sure she knows exactly where her boys are at all times, and even with her littlest being almost 3, she makes sure she isn’t hitting biting or punching people. So many kids I see do that, they have no respect, and its the parents fault for letting them act and behave that way.
I completely agree with you. This makes me think of those new commercials I’ve seen for a site called commonsense.org, I supposed it’s a site about parenting. They show a kid playing video games and listening to music, then when his mom knocks on the door he just switches the computer screen to a school project so his mom thinks he’s working…I find it interesting that a website about parenting is called “commonsense,” and it’s probably all things that you shouldn’t have to be told becuase it’s, well, common sense.
I completely agree with this. I come from a pretty strict home. I went to private school for a long time (where if you pulled some shit like that man… you were going to get your ass kicked by the teachers) and when I finally went to public highschool I was amazed at how the kids were complete monsters. Years of poor parenting gave them the idea that they could do whatever they want and say whatever they want. It was survival of the fittest in the sickest possible context.
Perfect example: freshman year my best friend called me during class. I could hear scuffing and stuff in the background but she didn’t answer when I said ‘hello’ (yes I was a bad kid that answered my phone in class). I got out of class and went downstairs and saw another girl beating my best friend’s face against the coke machine right outside the office with a firm grip on her hair. The office was literally 20 feet away and made of solid glass windows. People saw and no one cared. That was the first fight I ever go into in school. I beat that girl’s ass right there in the commons because she was just being a bully and an ass hole. My best friend had cancer, was 5’7″ or taller, and didn’t even weigh 100 pounds. To say she couldn’t put up a fight is an understatement.
Kids these days pick on the weak and sick like animals. It’s disgusting. In my family and my school we were taught to stand up for other people if they couldn’t themselves. You don’t just walk by a person being bullied and let it go. That’s the perfect deffinition of a COWARD.
Parents today expect the schools to impart common sense and morality to their children. Shrug. And people tell me I’m crazy for keeping my kids home all day to homeschool them. I want them to have MY values, not any one elses.
I’m a parent but I have to agree with you that it seems more and more parents are abdicating their responsibility to impart morals and common sense. It sickens me. I take a very active role in my kids’ lives even at the young ages they are and it scares me thinking about what other kids are like, what they will try pressuring my kids to do.
I totally understand what you are saying. Sadly, there are a lot of parents in our society that let their children do whatever they want. It is not cute, it is disgusting. Parents today are so quick to believe whatever their child tells them, more often it is a lie. I see children mistreat each other in school everyday. Even at a young age they are whispering, and mistreating other kids. If you were to tell the parents how their child behaves toward others. they would find an excuse for their child’s behavior. Parents need to be parents and not try to be their child’s best friend!
I can do you one better.
I go with my daughter and her friends to Anime Conventions on occasion. We attended Castle Rock two years ago, and after headed downtown for a late lunch. A young girl (we’re talking 7 year old tops) was playing in the kid’s area at Mickey D’s with her brother. She had the lowest slung jeans I’d ever seen on a child…then she bent over. A THONG?????????
Are parents out of their damned minds?Why does a seven year old need butt floss?
I wouldnt say all parents are bad parents. A child is a product of their enviroment yes, thats why its up to the parents to step up and raise their kids right. My son may only be 7 months old now, but there is no way in hell I will let him grow up to be the kind of kid to pick on others, play violet video games or anything like that.
There is actually a show on T.V called ‘On the perils of parenting.’ they put kids in situations where they arefaced with choices that kids are put in every day. They have hidden camera’s set up so parents can see just how their children act and react. A lot of parents are surprised on how their children respond to different situations.
A lot of the time, children are different around their parents then they are around other people so when their parents deny things its because they’ve never seen their child act that way.
Gosh, parenting is so complicated. When I come to that bridge, I hope I cross it well.
I completely agree with you. Parents do not get strict enought these days about the video games their kids play, and the shows/movies their kids view. Nor do most of them take the time to explain the reasons why something is wrong in the entertainment graphics with mature content.
My best friend’s son was in kindergarden last year and he always rode the bus after school. One day, a high school kid took his portable playstation and never gave it back. The busy driver said there was no way for him to see who took or even remember what the particular kid looked like.