September 4, 2010
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How can you be a parent?!
I love children. I want children. Probably 2 or 3 kids, I’d say. I’ve been wanting to be a mother for a few years now.
But I’m terrified. There’s so much to be afraid of as a parent.
What if I don’t do a good job? What if I’m not a good parent? There’s so many ways your kid can end being bad of you’re not a good parent. They can become criminals, have addictions to drugs and alcohol… the thought is so scary. Of course, I would still love my child, but I would be so disappointed; probably more in myself than my child.
What if my child ends up hating me? I would be so sad I couldn’t take it. I would be devastated.
Then there’s all the other things that can go wrong. Kidnapping, illness, diseases. I think about all the things you have to think about when you’re a parent. It’s like your life instantly changes. You are responsible for another person.
I really am terrified to be a parent.
Comments (27)
i think of having children as a high-risk game. i think if you get a stable job and a parter with one too, you’d make a great parent. actually, i was raised by a single mom and she works two jobs, but we are living in the same house as she did when she was eighteen and i’m proud to not be running to welfare mooching off taxpayer’s for no reason whatsoever.
There are plenty of people who were “good parents” that ended up having less than perfect children. Having kids is a crap shoot. You never know what’ll happen until it does.
well of course you’re terrified of being a parent. anyone who isn’t is crazy. having a child is a terrifying thought. it’s very human to feel this way. but you have to trust yourself. yes, bad things will probably inevitably happen. not everyone has a 100% good life. lol. and it’s not the parents fault unless the parent is purposely neglectful. which it’s obvious you won’t be. do not let the thought of something bad happening deter you away from having children. it’s a wonderful experience. so wonderful that i can’t even put it into words. yes, it’s scary and stressful…but it’s so incredibly worth it. you will worry and that’s normal.
if you want to talk more about it, or ask questions message me. OR hey!! we have xanga im now! lol.
You can be a wonderful parent and still have a child take the wrong fork in the road. Or you can be a completely horrific parent and have a child that turns out so spectacular that it’s almost miracle status. I personally think we need to look back on our own upbringing/childhoods and do our best to be better parents. Break negative cycles. You will be just fine.
Me, too. I’d probably ruin my child’s life.
I have the exact same thoughts run through my head all the time! and I’m pregnant! :-/ The way I see it though, you can only do your best and leave the rest up to the child. Hopefully, they will take the right path. If not, you raised them the best you could- it was in their hands! I wouldn’t stress about it though, I’m sure when you have kids you’ll be a great mommy
It’s not easy. But it’s a fantastic job. I have 8 kids. My oldest is in the girls school because she made poor choices. My 12 year old is responsible, loving, respectful, fantastic. 10 year old is the same way. My 8 year old…demanding, snotty, rude, a beast, yet at the same time, incredible at helping.. My boys(6 and 5)…well, they are boys. Hyper, active, mischievous, marvelous. The two little ones(2 and 7 months) are still developing their personalities.
Two parents, same parenting, 8 different results. It sometimes can be a crap shoot. You love them. You discipline them. You nurture them. You give them your values. You teach them what you want them to know. We made the decision to take full responsibility, not trusting the ‘village’ to help raise them. That makes a huge difference.
The best things you can do areto love them and be involved as much as you can, learning when to letgo and when to hold tight. And then, you trust that you gave them the best tools you could.
There’s nothing easy about it. There are a lot of rewards when done well though.
Its oh to be a parent, i have a son, very lovely, i am incomplete without him, he sleeps over my chest and i tell him stories:) go for it your life will be changed, you will need only commitment and all other fears will vanished once you will get your kid, nature will clear the road for you.
#1: love your kid
#2 don’t worry about all the bad stuff, same as you don’t worry about dying now
I don’t think I could have kids because I want to leave my work at work and not bring it home and if I am surrounded by kids all day, I don’t really want to come home to that.
If you weren’t scared of those things, you’re probably not ready to be a parent. It’s totally normal to feel that way (and good for your future children, really).
Me and Bambii_Doll talked about this. I told her that I am afraid to be a father, because I may not do a good job. She told me the fact that you are conscious about whether you’ll be a good dad and all says that you’ll be a great parent. Not exemplary, not definitely one that cares enough for her future child to think of how much of a mother you’d be.
I think if any mature person who isn’t a parent yet didn’t think that, there would be something wrong with them. I think you’d make a great parent, just make sure you’re 100% ready
I also want children so bad. I think I will adopt though. I don’t want my mental illnesses being passed on to the next generation. I don’t think I could live with myself if I tainted a child. I think no parent knows what they are doing until it is all done. We can only do our best. Love is all that matters. Love them and rear them right. In the end it is their choices who will shape who they are. we can only guide them.
very well said @TheCrimsonSlash……being a parent is one of the hardest, yet most rewarding things….nobody is going to be the perfect parent…and we all make mistakes along the way, because unfortunately they don’t hand out instruction manuals when you have a baby…lol….take the things you grew up learning that you liked and apply them to raising your children and the things you didn’t like, change that (that’s what I did with my boys and though they don’t do everything right, they grew up to be pretty good young men)….and finally, just love them….that’s all we can do…..
I think I’d worry too much about what could happen to them…
I felt nervous with having my twins. There is no handbook on how to raise children and babies don’t come with instructions. I was so nervous that I would fall holding one of my babies I even bought new tennis shoes but I was worried for nothing. It will just come to you ask some of the moms on xanga
I’m the same way, I want to have kids some day, always have. It is scary to think about, but I think it’ll all just become natural and the worry will go away once you have kiddies.
You’d be a great mom!
I’d rather not risk it. I know I’d be a fuck up.
I understand how you feel. I can’t count how many times I had screaming fights with my mom and she said she hoped I had kids that were as much trouble as I was. That’s a really great memory to have…not. Being someone’s child, you really learn what NOT to do. I know you’ve mentioned before the shaky relationship you have with your mom and I’m sure there’s lots of food for thought there regarding child-raising. Me, on the other hand, I will never start fights over the ‘bad influence’ bands my kids like or have a hissy fit over my daughter wearing hot pink socks to high school like my mom did. As long as my kid’s clothes are clean and she’s not innapropriately dressed like a slut when she’s under 18, I couldn’t care less if she has a blue mohawk or wears outlandish clothes. Sometimes the bad & stupid shit you go through when you’re young gives you insight for when you’ll need it later in life. I’d say that the fact that you’re pondering all this now indicates that you have a good head on your shoulders and aren’t likely to run off and be a lousy parent.
It only gets more terrifying once you become a parent.
But you learn to push those thoughts out of your head and take things day by day.
You just learn as you go.
I had my daughter when I was 19 years old and let me tell you, I just winged it. I was young and stupid & never worried about what could happen. My daughter is now 13 and is a wonderful young lady. I recently had a son and I’m 31. I worry constantly about him. I know we will get through all the trials though. Having children is terrifying but is the most wonderful thing in the world all at the same time. I think you would be a great mom because only a good mother would have those concerns even before having a child.
I think I’m going to be a wonderful aunt, but I would be a terrible parent. Better for my brother’s kids, I think.
It’s not always the parents fault if the kid gets into drugs/alcohol. Shit happens and there are ALWAYS bag eggs.
You should be terrified. Parenting is a huge responsibility, people must realize that. However, your maternal instincts and the things you learn along the way won’t fail you. There is no need for perfection.
You’d be a great mom!