August 24, 2010
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I’m really sad.
So this is kind of a long story.
When I went to live with my mom in 10th grade, I lived with 2 of my sisters, Taylor and Rachel. Rachel and I became very close during that time, because we were closed in age. Two years later, there was some drama with my mom and the cops and us, and Rachel moved to her dad’s. I felt like my life got torn away from me. I was left to deal with my mother and her shit alone, and take care of my youngest sister. It’s never been the same since between us. We get along, but we aren’t as close. We don’t talk as much, and rarely see each other.
When Rachel was in high school, she dated a boy who accidently killed someone. Rachel and this boy were in love. The boy went to juvie, and at first they tried to stay together. But Rachel found herself straying, and they broke up. She had a hard time with it. Last year, she started dating her best friend’s brother. They live together now, and they’re in love. She wants to marry him.
Anyway. I just talked to my mom, and she told me that Rachel was over, and I found that strange because Rachel really dislikes our mother. Mom made me promise that I can’t tell Rachel what she was about to tell me. I promised.
My mom told me that the boy Rachel dated in high school got out of juvie not that long ago and that he’s living near where my mom works. My mom said that he’s really cleaned up. He no longer has his hair long, no lip piercing, no baggy pants. He has a manager position at a restaurant, he’s going to college, and he found God. Rachel has fallen back in love with him, but still in love with her current boyfriend, so she has a crisis. She’s not cheating on her boyfriend, but she’s spending time with her old one, and she doesn’t know what to do.
I feel sad because my sister hasn’t told me any of this. We used to be so close, and now she doesn’t talk to me about things like this. I’m her older sister, she should tell me these things. I almost started crying on the phone with my mom, because I almost felt betrayed. My sister tells my mom all this, someone she practically despises but she doesn’t tell her sister. We used to be SO close. I just feel very sad.
I’m not going to tell her I know what’s going on, but yeah. I feel kind of selfish, because she’s going through this big thing, and here I am feeling sad because she didn’t tell me about it. Is that selfish? I don’t know.
Comments (16)
not selfish. suggests your sister didn ‘t trust you or share with you. I am having mom/sis issues today myself. Hmmm
I could be off, but I know in the past… she isn’t cheating on her bf, but she may be dealing with a lot of guilt and conflicting emotions right now, and may even feel like a bad person. And sometimes when you feel like that, it’s easier to talk about it to people you don’t like, or people who may even hate you, than to someone you look up to, love, and care about. Because you may worry about what they might think of you; or fear what you think they might say, So you turn to someone else instead.
I don’t know, but it is a possibility.
People grow up and change. Relationships grow old and begin to fade…
I don’t think it’s selfish at all. Maybe she just feels like she can’t talk to you anymore or doesn’t think you’d want to hear about anything like this. =(
I agree with Starshine Faerie.
Still must sting for you though.
It’s not selfish at all. I know how you feel except it’s with a friend not a sister. Sometimes it just happens that way. It sucks.
You’re beautiful:)
I don’t know her so I am not sure… BUT… she may feel a little guilty/ashamed of herself and maybe she doesn’t want you to think less of her… and if she despises your mom, maybe she doesn’t care as much of what SHE thinks of her? I know. I’m reaching, huh?
Seriously… don’t feel too hurt. She’ll talk when she is ready to, I am sure.
Give her a call and say hey. Maybe make plans to hang out, just the two of you? Tell her you miss being close, that you want that again…?
I don’t have sisters, so I’m not sure… but I DO have a best friend (BFFS since 1983), and she once kept something from me for EIGHT YEARS… because she thought that I would feel differently about her (as if!)…
My sister and I go back and forth with the closeness. I hate when she tells our mom things but not me. I find it bizarre.
@Starshine_Faerie - Geez Louise… wish I had read your comment before I went and wrote mine! Coulda just said: “Listen to her^”
Nah that’s not selfish. Maybe she respects you and fears your opinion. Perhaps you should call her.
I don’t think that is selfish at all. You and your sister used to be really close so of course you want her to tell you what is going on in her life.
it sounds like you guys had a strong relationship and you both didn’t like your mom yet moommy is who she runs to….do you know if your mom contacted your sisiter just to say “your old bf is out and has a good life, i’ve seen him”..and to cause this drama? mabye your mom wnats you put her though some guilt trip for drumping him…
i’m rambling but i didn’t think your being selfish. your sisiter should have said something about to you
You’re not selfish, just disappointed and hurt. There’s a difference.
Maybe she meant to tell you and just didn’t find the right time?
It’s really up to your sister to involve you, or not, so why feel guilty? You haven’t done anything wrong.
Maybe this is her way of getting back in touch with your mother.
Listen to Starshine. She beat me to it.