Sup?
I had Lasik this morning… so I can’t hang out on the computer, just dropping in to say hi!
I miss all you guys, and hopefully I’ll be around more tomorrow to visit and chat. I hope you are all well, and I will post about my lasik experience tomorrow too.
Have a nice evening everyone!
Bloodless Corpse
She sat at the table, in the dark. A glass of water and a bottle of pills sat in front of her as she contemplated the bright lights of the city. How easy it was to be lost in such a place. How easily forgotten. There were no more tears in her eyes.
Her body was marred by scars. Thin, neat lines. The vicodin in front of her taunted her. ‘You can’t do it,’ it said to her. She slowly reached towards the bottle and dumped them out. They clicked on the table, some falling to the floor. The darkness made the scene before her surreal. She grabbed a handful and tilted her head back. Dumped them into her gaping mouth. Swallow. Swallow. Water. With a shaky hand she put the now empty glass back down. The thud seemed too loud, ringing in her ears.
A moment of panic.
She raced to the bathroom, hovered over cold porcelain. She cried now. Heaving sobs that wracked her body. A scream was forming in her racing mind. The lights reflecting on the white were too bright. She felt blinded. She knew no one would know she was gone, lost in a city so big. She was forgotten. The thoughts wrapped themselves around her brain, finding it home.
She picked up the blade and shut the lights off. She waited while her eyes adjusted to the dark then stumbled to the living room. Once again at the table with the pills. She didn’t clean them up. Why bother?
She placed the sweet steel against her skin and ripped it across. With the pills kicking in she couldn’t feel. Couldn’t feel. Deeper and deeper. Couldn’t feel.
She could see the blood shining in the darkness everywhere.
She felt so lightheaded. She looked down and saw she had cut her vein from her wrist to her elbow. On a level, she knew she was dying. The lights swirled now. Swirled and she couldn’t feel. She welcomed it.
“Death,” she whispered. “I am not afraid of you. Take me from this mortal suffering.” She wanted to close her eyes. She felt so sleepy. But she knew she had to stare death in the face. Anything less was cowardice. She was still bleeding. The lights were swirling. She couldn’t feel. Couldn’t feel.
The swirling lights faded.
She couldn’t feel.
Couldn’t feel.
You are wrong.
So, this is how mean they are to me…. my coworkers.
Tony and Cody came back to their desk with 3 Musketeer bars. Which, I don’t even like, by the way…
Me: Where’s MY 3 Musketeer bar?? (Cody shrugs) How come you guys never get ME one?!
Cody: Because you are not a part of mine and Tony’s relationship (they do the gay jokes ALL the time)
Tony: Well, when you grow a penis, let me know.
Me: I don’t want to grow a penis!
Tony: You can go to Canada to buy one.
Me: What?!
Cody: Canada is like the capital of sex changes.
Me: I do not want to go to Canada to buy a penis.
Tony: Why not?
Me: I don’t have a passport.
We all laughed over this. This is the kind of thing I go through several times a day, every day. This isn’t as bad as they sometimes are, but at least we have a good time about it.
Where all of the cunts of xanga can go.
Okay, I’m done with this now.
Really.
It’s no secret, I haven’t had sex in a LONG time. Like, so long, I’m not going to say HOW long it’s been.
So when I finally have sex with someone, it’s going to be crazy. I’m going to use my nails and teeth and rip the shit out that motherfucker (or bitch!). He’s (or she’s) going to be SORE the next day. Well, I will be too 
It’s VERY frustrating being sexually frustrated!!
Here’s how I see this shit going…
Rip my clothes off scratch my nails down your back hard and fast shove me against the wall bite you bite me pull my hair smack my ass no time for play hard and deep keep going don’t stop until we both cum explosions rock me harder faster make me scream your name take me until there’s nothing left until we collapse until all we are is one moaning groaning panting shoving taking giving
Now, I am not a whore and I won’t just have sex with anyone. In fact, I don’t do casual sex at all. So that means I need a boyfriend or girlfriend…. SOON!!!! Before I pull my hair out…..
I would have posted the music video, but it was censored 
GOOD.
Get the fuck out.
We don’t need CUNTS like you around here.
Dear Xanga,
Lately I’ve been getting messages and comments from people who tell me how much they love my blog. It makes them laugh and gives them hope. They wonder what I’ll say next.
Here’s what I’m saying next.
I love my xanga friends, and I think you’re all awesome. I don’t get to read all of your posts all the time, but I read what I can. Whenever I’m online, I try and read everything that’s in my inbox. If I don’t see you, I am sorry.
I love the posts that make me laugh, I love the ones that make me want to cry (I have actually had tears from some posts I’ve read). I love the posts that make me think. I love the posts that make me learn something new. I love the posts that are filled with your wit and sarcasm. I love the posts with such beautiful poetry and prose it takes my breath away. I love the posts you write.
I love the xangans that have given so much of themselves. I love the xangans that have been there for me. The ones that have given me such encouraging words. I love the xangans that tell me they think I’m beautiful, no matter what I see. I love the xangans that are filled with such inner beauty like I’ve never seen.
I’m saying I’m returning the favor. If you need the proverbial shoulder, I’ll be there for you. Message me, leave a comment. If you need encouraging words, I’ll give them to you.
I’m here for you.
Love,
Me.
When I first started this blog 6 1/2 years ago, it was one of the WORST times in my life. I met this guy on here, and we started talking. I was very suicidal at this time, and he was ALWAYS there for me. He would talk me down from doing anything stupid to myself. The situation in my home was so bad, him and his now ex-wife offered to let me stay in their home. His friendship meant so much to me in that terrible time of my life, and I literally owe him my life. We haven’t talked in recent years, but he recently told me that I had become a top blogger. Ha!! I hadn’t even thought of myself as a top blogger, but I guess it’s true. Not every post of mine hits the front page, but every one of them ends up in Top Blogs. So, how could I NOT use my top blogger status to help his new, completely gorgeous wife get some votes in MXA?!
I couldn’t!!!
So, what you all need to do is go vote for airbornerose to get into the finals!!!!
I would totally love you forever if you did (ha, as if I don’t already!!). =]
You guys are awesome.
Now GO VOTE!!!!!.
