These cramps have been SOOOO bad ALL fucking day and I have felt like I'm dying.

I was doing something, I don't remember what, and I told Tony that I was dying. He asked me if I needed help. I said, "Do I need help dying?" Hahaha!!

I was really whiny this morning too because of my cramps, and they told me to stop whining. Ha.

Plus, 2 doses of Midol throughout the day has done NOTHING. UGH.

(By the way, I really don't think I'm dying. But at times throughout the day, I kind of wished I was. Cody said he would go to my funeral, ha.)

Don't leave!!!!!!!!

I think I might cry!!!!!

I <3 you!!!!!

If only my IRL "friends" were like the friends on Xanga.

I was in a good mood this morning.

Then I remembered that the only value I have is for other peoples' entertainment. They piss me off so they can laugh.

Seriously, fuck this bullshit.

 

 

I can't fuckin take it anymore.

I AM VERY PISSED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SAFARI DECIDED TO QUIT WHEN I TRIED TO SUBMIT THIS POST SO I HAVE TO WRITE IT ALL OVER!!!!!

 

I am sorry Xanga, I have been a neglectful blogger the last few days. Well, I guess you can call it cheating.

You see, I have become addicted to this game online, Masquerade Mahjong on king.com.

It has cut into my Xanga Addiction, and perhaps it's time for an intervention.

This is very serious. I have stayed up late every night playing this game.

*sigh*

I would like to say this will never happen again, but I don't want to lie.

I will try harder.

I am sorry, my friends, I have let you down.

 

Cats, I mean. Cats get pussy wherever and whenever they can...when it's mating season, of course.

I say this because my mom thinks her kitten is preggers. She's only 7 months old, but apparently kittens can get pregnant at that age. That little whore! I told my mom it was her fault because she kicked the cat out of the house and let her roam around in the woods.

So, if Chloe is pregnant, she's just a little slut.

And the males are man-cat whores. They'll do any cat in heat, the little fuckers.

And, it looks like they're into the whole biting thing too. Kinky.

(That one looks a little scared of being pregnant, but she's probably still a whore, that's why she's terrified)

*Do not Google Images "cat sex," you see some freaky shit, like this:

Also, I *did not* know that women actually have their cats eat them out. I thought that was just a myth, and now I am scarred for life after seeing those pictures.

Men who complain about women having PMS really need to STFU, and I'll tell you why.

The week before my period, my boobs hurt. Breast tenderness is a somewhat common ailment for pre-menstrual symptoms. If you touch them, you die. They HURT!! I suppose it's a good thing I don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, because I would be screaming at them to leave me alone. So men need to STFU.

Guys, you know when you need to shit because you have diarrhea? And your stomach cramps up? Well, multiply that pain by like 10, and you'll know how cramps can feel sometimes. STFU.

Have you ever had to pull a nasty ass tampon out of yourself? It's disgusting!! STFU.

There's more, but now I'm fucking irritated. If you had to deal with this shit once a month you'd act like a crazy ass bitch too, don't even fuckin deny it!!!!!

MEN NEED TO STFU. seriously.

Yeah, go Xena!!!

I've been paranoid all weekend. I'm paranoid that I'm going to get fired.

So the other warehouse is moving to a building that's closer, starting next weekend. Then the weekend after that. The 4th of July week is a manufacturing shut down for our customer, but we will be moving the warehouse. I wanted to work the 4th of July week. But a few weeks ago, it was unclear if I was able to work because I was on restrictions from the doctor. But now I'm off restrictions and earlier last week the boss asked me when I wanted to work, 1st or 2nd shift during 4th of July week. I said 1st, and she said okay.

So then at the end of the week the final list went up of who was working where. I wasn't on it. I sent an email to the boss, asking when I was working. And she never responded. Maybe she was too busy and wasn't able to respond. I don't know, but I've been freaking out about it all weekend.

I can't afford to get fired. I have no savings.

Sometimes I wonder what the point is. The point of life, that is. Not really in a depressed way, but more in a philosophical way.

What are we doing here? Is each life alone, or are we all connected? Is it fate, or choice? Is there a purpose for everyone? Or are we all stumbling around with no clue? When this life ends, where does it go from there? Does every life touch another?

What force keeps us here? As human beings, I mean. As a life force.

I am not a Christian. I think that the religion answers those questions because humans need the answers to those questions to survive, because we are ones who have a fear of the unknown. I think it's a way to control people.

I do, however, believe in a higher power. I think "God" is just giving a name to something cosmic that is impossible to name. I think that cosmic power is in every one of us, in everything living. When you think about it, life in any form is amazing. The mechanics that drive us, the complexities that are required to make us alive is amazing. The fact that we have created this world with what we have is mind boggling.

I do believe in the divine, and I don't think it's in a book that was written by human hand. I think it's everywhere you see and hear and touch and smell. I think it's all around us, and something that is simply too hard to capture using stories.

I believe that God and Goddess are two halves of one whole, and I believe that all the Gods and Goddesses are different aspects of that God and Goddess. I think that it's a way to connect to the divine in a way that uses human words because that is what we know.

I believe in reincarnation. Energy cannot be destroyed, nor created. It's energy that drives life.

I think that we are all connected, and that every life touches another. Whether or not it's by fate or choice, I am still unsure.