I wish I could write a blog with a specific purpose, a certain topic.

I just watched Julie & Julia. Have you ever seen it? It's a movie about a 30 year old woman who decides to write a blog about cooking. It isn't just a blog about cooking. She gives herself exactly 1 year to cook 524 recipes from a certain cookbook. A cookbook written partly by Julie Child, about mastering cooking French cuisine.

Watching this movie made me want to write a blog with a purpose. The problem is that I wouldn't know what it would be, this topic. I guess everyone will have to endure my nonsense :/

I will try to be a better blogger.

I mean, really, you can't eat. It's all fruits and vegetables. UGH. I can't even splurge once a day. Not even once a week. Fruits and veggies, then more fruits and veggies. If you can only eat 1200 calories in the day, you might as well not eat anything good. Just stuff your fucking face with fruits and veggies. I can't even drink one goddamn pop a day. I feel like crying. I probably shouldn't even drink my coffee in the morning with some cream and sugar because that's probably like a third of my fucking calories for the day.

If you can't tell, I'm fucking frustrated. THIS FUCKING SUCKS AND I CAN'T TAKE IT.

I just watched the movie for the first time, and it confused the shit out of me. At the ending, the Julie that Sarah saw in France wasn't the real Julie? Or what? WTF. Can someone please explain to me???

My grandparents are going to be here in a couple hours and we are going out to lunch...

I wish I had a camera. I think I might buy one in a couple of weeks. We'll see.

I think we would all agree that sex burns calories, and it's cardio exercise, right? Right.

That's what I thought.

Anyway, you can't put "sex" as cardio on sparkpeople.com. WTH!!! Not that I am currently getting laid or having sex with anyone, but really. I think you should be able to put that in there. Just saying, that's all.

It's a challenge, changing your lifestyle. Eating out not as often is proving to be easier than I thought, so I'm going good with that. The thing though, is just eating healthier in general. This isn't to say that I eat all kinds of junk food. I hate most chips, I don't eat cookies or cake, I don't really like candy. In fact, I hate most candy. I don't even really like chocolate anymore.

What I'm talking about is eating more vegetables. Eating things with less calories. I can only eat veggies if I have ranch dressing. I love fruits though, because I love the sweetness of them. I don't eat a lot of meat, so I take a multi vitamin. I love orange juice, apple juice, and grapefruit juice. I can only drink water if it's cold. I'm sick of eating the same things every day.

I was drinking one pop every other day. Now I drink one a day, sometimes 2. This is so hard. I've found that I actually like working out. I don't mind running. The only thing is that my feet really hurt sometimes when I run...like REALLY hurt. I guess I need new running shoes? On the days my feet don't hurt, I actually love to run. If I have good music on, I can get in the zone.

If anyone has any good advice for me, I would really appreciate it!!!

Yesterday went pretty well, except for the last half. There was a hot shipment at the end of the day and everyone was yelling at me to get it done, but there was something wrong in the system, not my fault. But everyone continued yelling at me and when it was all over, I cried. I tried really hard not to, but it made my throat hurt to try so hard. So I gave in. I had a huge lump in my throat for an hour afterwards.

To make matters worse, I learned that my youngest sister (15) skipped school yesterday to galavant around with her boyfriend and this other guy. I called her and of course she was screening her calls. I angrily informed her that she was to go home and if her behavior didn't improve, I would shut her phone off (she has a line on my phone plan). I never heard from her. For all I knew, she was lying dead in a ditch somewhere. My mother called me at 10:30 last night and told me she was finally home and that she had taken my sister's phone away. I couldn't fall asleep until 11:30 because I had been worried sick about her.

Oh, and, I worked 14 hours yesterday. I am really fucking tired, and now I'm at work again. And I'm fucking grumpy.

You've gotta listen to this!!!!

They whisper about her as though she's not there
Her tattered clothes and broken frown
Her pure white skin full of cracks
She's cold as the stone that line the walls

She's the porcelain doll in the corner
She's the sad little girl
She's not good enough
She's the broken one

Not worthy
Unclean
Lost
Forgotten

She's the porcelain doll in the corner
Collecting dust and cobwebs

I think this is ridiculous. I mean, really?

If you unfriend me because I don't visit your blog, I think that's pretty childish. Are you feeling neglected? Well, awwww.

Let me tell you something...I'm not around much anymore!! I, am BUSY. I work a lot of hours. I work 10 hours a day, every day, then I work out for an hour after work. Then I go home and relax for a few hours before I go to bed. I watch a movie or play a video game, or read a book.

Do you think I like neglecting Xanga and my fellow Xangans? NO!! What I see in my inbox when I'm online, that's what I read. If you're not there, sorry! I don't take the time to go out of my way to read anyone, NOT EVEN MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE BLOGGERS.

I'm sorry I don't have time to stroke your big ego, but if I wouldn't be your Xanga friend if I didn't enjoy reading your posts when I see them.

*Unfortunately, this happens to me quite frequently =[

Final Fantasy XIII. *DROOL* The graphics are stunning. Couldn't ask for more.

Anyway, it's almost my 24th birthday. omg, I feel old.

Also, I got my hair colored....no pics yet. It's a soft black on top and red on the bottom. It's fucking fabulous. I'm out like a boner in sweatpants (you can thank my wonderful coworker for giving me the phrase =]) to watch Weeds and get ready to go to my aunt's house =]