Okay, so I’ve been debating what to do now. Someone once mentioned that it’s difficult to write a post after a successful one. I mean, I have a whole bunch of new friends and subscribers..what if they don’t like what I write?! Omg it’s stressful.

Anyway, yesterday I had a bad hair day. It was terrible. You know your hair pretty much decides whether you’re pretty or not for the day. So yesterday I didn’t feel pretty.

However, it did make me feel better that I would never have a bad hair day such as this

Googling “crazy hair,” I found a lot of crazy things. This one, however, I thought was frickin awesome:

I like the one on the left. The colors are freaking amazing!!!

Yeah, that’s right. I think everyone should start the day masturbating. Or with sex. Either one, doesn’t matter.

I think everyone would be happier, seriously. I’m pretty sure it’s proven that people who masturbate a lot are happier people. This way, I think there would be a lot fewer assholes running around.

Now, I know that sometimes right away in the morning, you might not be in the mood. I get that. Or, you don’t have enough time. Understandable. So here’s what you do…wake up about half an hour earlier, and pop in some porn. Who doesn’t love porn?? That’s just crazy talk…

So, for your viewing pleasure, here’s a little inspiration:

I just took some photos of my new house with my phone, but I won’t be able to get them up today, sorry guys =[

Not much else to say…it’s a rainy, icky day late in October in Minnesota!!

A 53 million dollar house?!?!?! What the fuck do you do with 40,000 square feet?? omg.

10 pounds. Part of it is from not eating out, part of it is from eating less.

There’s a lot of stairs in my new house, and my mom told me I’d be skinny in no time. (Ha I doubt that. I will never be skinny)

Now, if you’re new to my blog, then you don’t know that bad drivers irritate me. No, wait. That’s not right. It’s more than that. They down right infuriate me. I have a case of road rage that not quite crosses the line. So, I feel it is my duty to properly train people how to drive. I admit, I make mistakes sometimes, but not nearly as many as I see. I talk to “you,” but I’m not really talking to YOU, per se. I’m more talking to you, as in the general population…if you know what I mean! So, here it is. (If I have missed anything, let me know and I will add it (Also, driving in snow will get its own post )

1. Slow People in the Fast Lane
This one is #1 for a reason: it causes me the most anger. There are a couple of sub groups to this one to address.

a. If you want to pass people in the slow lane, make sure you either go as fast as traffic in the fast lane wants to go or wait until there is a large gap in traffic.

b. If people are merging onto the highway and you are in the slow lane, please do not change lanes into the fast lane. You have breaks or an accelerator. Use them.

c. Cars have rear view mirrors for a reason. Check it often. If you are holding up a large line of traffic, please move the fuck over. I don’t care if we are passing the slow lane. If I want to go faster than you, please allow me to do so or I will shove your vehicle up your ass. You don’t own the road, you know

2. Merging
There are two kinds of merging (well, 3, but changing lanes will be later addressed. kthx): an on-ramp, and lane closures.

a. When you are merging from an on-ramp, please enter the highway at the speed the traffic is moving. That means, you must find your accelerator. I can understand cloverleaves, so they are therefore exempt. But, if the speed limit is 65 mph and you enter the freeway going 30 or 40, I get rear ended and die, my ass is haunting you until the day you die. And into the afterlife. You better fucking prepare for an eternity of being haunted motherfucker. I don’t know how many times I encounter this, and it pisses me off every time. (Also, let people merge onto the highway. ALLOW people to merge.)

b. If there is a lane closure and traffic is crawling and you have to merge into one lane, this is how it works: one car from the left lane goes, then one car from the right lane goes, then the left, then the right. Don’t be an asshat and not let anybody in. You might not be the only one in a hurry to get through traffic.

3. Changing Lanes

This one gets its own number because I don’t know how many times I’ve almost died or been ran off the road because people don’t know how to merge into a different lane without trying to hit my car. First, look in your rear view mirror and side mirror (if you’re going to be a pompous ass and ask which side, it will be be the side in which you want to change lanes. kthx). Turn your turn signal on. Check your mirrors again. CHECK YOUR BLIND SPOT. This means turning your head and physically looking out your car window. Change lanes. Turn your turn signal off. Congratulations. You have successfully changed lanes. I am so proud.

4. If you are in the fast lane, please accelerate accordingly. I don’t want to get beaten by a semi in the slow lane after a stop light turns green. kthxbye

5. JUST so you are aware, the left lane is the fast lane, the right lane is the slow lane. I don’t know about anywhere else, but in Minnesota, they actually have to post signs: “Slower Traffic Keep Right” and people STILL can’t get it right. Get a fucking clue.

6. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER GOD YOU PRAY TO, do NOT leave enough space for a semi to fit in when you are at a stop light. A few feet is okay, but not THAT much space. If there is a lot of traffic, that is extremely rude. The same goes for stop and go traffic. AND when you are driving and there is heavy traffic but the pace is steady, DON’T leave enough space for 3 semi’s to fit in. JUST FUCKING UGH.

7. You know, it’s called a turn lane for a reason. I’m not sure if you know this or not, but they give you enough time to slow down in the turn lane. So, it’s really not necessary to start braking long before your turn. You’re wasting the gas of the person behind you that ISN’T turning. They have to brake and accelerate up again after you actually get into the turn lane. That is VERY rude. ALSO, don’t slow down then be half in and half out of the turn lane. What the fuck are you doing that for?! Just get in the turn lane!!!!

8. If traffic is moving too slow and it’s not my fault, DON’T ride my ass. I will stomp on the brakes (I’ve done it many times).

9. If I move over into the slow lane to let you pass, DON’T move over with me and CONTINUE to ride my ass.

10. Very old people should not be driving if they can’t handle it.

11. If you can’t handle talking on your phone and driving at the same time, just don’t fucking do it. There are some talented people that can do both, but apparently there are millions of people who can’t. It’s like walking and talking at the same time. Figure it out.



You know what, just get out of my way. And apparently George W. agrees.



Also, when you Google Images middle finger, this photo is all over it:



That is just one pissed off kid man.

Xanga is better, in my opinion, because no one wonders where you came from. What I mean is, if you randomly leave a comment on someone’s page and send a friend request, most of the time, no one wonders “who the hell is this douchebag?” On Facebook, people tend to be more skeptical about random comments and friend requests.

That’s pretty much it. I mean, it’s easy to make friends here. For the most part, people are very nice and welcoming. They don’t judge anyone. Of course, there are assholes here, but they’re scattered around. There’s a lot more kind people.

Also, if something is going on in your life, your Xanga friends will rally around you. They’ll give you all the support in the world. Xanga people are pretty much some of the best people in the world.

That’s why I love Xanga so much.

I just watched the latest episode of Survivor online, and I thought Russell was dead. When they sat him up and he passed out again, his eyes were wide open and it looked like he was dead. Then his eyes moved and I was like omg. Then I realized, they probably wouldn’t show someone dying on a reality tv show…at least, I hope not. Not that I want it to happen, but I wonder what would happen to the show if anyone ever DID die, you know what I mean?

I’m sorry for my absence the last few days, but I’ve nearly been on my deathbed, not even kidding. I’ve been sick with the flu. I slept all day Thursday with a fever and just ew. Yesterday I rested up for today…the move. It went okay…the move that is. All my stuff is out of there…I just hope now the stench from that house isn’t permanent on my things!!!

Now I can’t breathe because I’ve been lifting all this shit when I’m sick…my chest hurts =[

Okay, this officially sucks…being at Caribou, not being able to go on the internet whenever I want. GAH. I worked my ass off yesterday…11 1/2 hours. Booyah bitches. Anyway.

I hate liars.

My mother is a pathological liar, she lies about anything and everything and she has this way about her (or she used to) where you would believe anything she says. My dad likes to say, “That woman can make you believe the sun rises in the west.” Now though, I generally believe she’s full of shit, so I don’t listen to her anymore. She says something, I tend to not believe it.

My roommate wants me to sign something saying that I will pay her all the money I owe her by December 15th.

Yesterday morning she came into my room asking if I’d signed it yet. I told her no, the due date was too soon. That would be most of my earnings for the next 2 months. When she saw that I was skeptical about signing it, she softened up and tried the “we’re friends” approach. We haven’t been friends in months. She was telling me about the hospital bout she had this last weekend and how her parents took her there. Well, this is the second time she’s been hospitalized because of drugs. Unless there have been more that I’m not aware of.

Anyway, after she left I called one of our mutual friends and talked to her. I found out how the power got turned back on: her parents gave her money. Not only that, but apparently, she used the money to get the power turned back on in her boyfriend’s apartment. Apparently she’s been paying bills there before the house. I AM NOT paying her money to keep HIS apartment running while he’s in prison. That’s more than fucked up.

The whole reason her kids got taken away this time was because she has no intention of leaving her boyfriend, and her kids are supposed to have no contact with him. SO, her ex, who has the kids, found out that she isn’t going to leave him, and the kids found out. So she had a supervised visit with the kids this weekend, and this mutual friend was supervising. After they dropped the kids off, my roommate went about 90 mph on the highway, where the speed limit is 65, and put their lives in danger because she was weaving in and out of traffic and she wouldn’t calm down. It was the drugs. So now the mutual friend told me that she’s never going to see my roommate again or even talk to her.

So she’s using the money her parents gave her on drugs because she started getting high last night. She wasn’t home all night, and she isn’t home now. She hasn’t cleaned the litter box in a couple weeks, the cats have been out of food for a couple days, and she hasn’t fed or given the dogs water or taken them outside to go potty since sometime yesterday.

It’s just a few days away, folks. A few days until I am free from tyranny. You have no idea how excited I am to move.