I had a pretty good weekend. My dad and I found a townhouse to rent together. It's a very beautiful home with painted walls and white carpet (eek). My sister and I are sort of fighting over the 2nd and 3rd bedrooms....

Anyway, this couple has never rented to anyone before. The husband got a job transfer to Colorado, and he's been there since March. Trying to sell it didn't work, so we just happened to come along. They are both very nice people, and they cooked dinner for us Friday night. It was wonderful. We sat there talking like old friends. The wife was very sweet and said if there's any problems, to call her and if there are any emergencies, her parents live right down the road. I had a lot of wine =]

And on Sunday, my Vikings won

So, in my opinion, Beyonce's video certainly isn't the best music video of all time....

So I'm throwing it out there....what music video do you think is the best of all time??

I don't know...I haven't watched many music vids in a number of years, but there have been some epic ones. One that always makes me laugh is Pork and Beans by Weezer. I think Sabatoge by the Beastie Boys is awesome...but I don't really know what my favorite would be...hmm....

EDIT:

I think we should turn this into a contest...what do you say? People throw out suggestions, then everyone can vote. I could even have someone make a graphic...I think it would be pretty sweet.

Yeah, I know. I've never talked about sex in my blog. If I have, I don't remember it.

Anyway, I love it...it's great.

Except I don't have it. Talk about frustration.

Well, I've always steered clear of relationships. The reason being, I have never had a healthy relationship with any of my family members, so what the hell makes me think I can have a relationship with anyone else? That's easy...I didn't think about it.

Except I did, a couple years ago. It was a girl's night out, and we were at the bar, having a good time. One of the people I was with was a new friend, I had never really hung out with her before..I think only once before. I knew she was a lesbian. Now, at the time, I didn't know this about myself. Well, we were drinking and to this day, I have no idea what made me do it. I was tipsy, to be sure, but I leaned over, kissed her, said, "I'll be right back," and proceeded to the bathroom, where I peed. I came back out to the table, sat down, and she was staring at me. Let's call her S. Anyway, S says, "Are you aware that you just kissed me?" I grinned a silly, sloppy, drunk grin and said, "yeah."

Woah...I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. She started kissing me. Really kissing me. Like tongue in my mouth kissing me. This was, by the way, the first time I had ever been French kissed. I was 21. Pretty sad and pathetic, isn't it? Anyway, I told her I had never kissed before. She refused to believe me. "How can that be true? You're a damn good kisser." I told her it was true. We ended up getting a little out of control and one of the waitresses had come over to us and told us that we had to settle down. Umm. Whoops.

At one point, S said to me, "You're coming home with me tonight." I am happy to say that I did not go home with her that night. Well, it would have been great, but I have principles! I'm not THAT girl! So, I drove home. I had gotten her number, and started texting her. We talked on the phone too. I asked her out on a date. You have no idea how frightening that was for me. I had never asked anyone out on a date. So a couple weeks after we made out in the bar, we went out. I told her that I was wary of relationships because I had been molested as a child, and that I was a little scared of what was going on.

I mean, I stayed away from guys, but I had never really thought that I was a lesbian. She said we can take our time, she wouldn't rush me. Anyway, we didn't have sex that night either. I am so proud of myself, haha.

We didn't have sex until a couple weeks after that date. This was back in my heavy drinking days when I would go out with friends pretty much every weekend, so we went out with a couple of other friends and we crashed at her place. Well, everyone else was sleeping and we were watching TV in the living room and she made some pizza. So there I was, eating a piece of pizza, sitting on the floor, and she was staring at me! Then, she pretty much attacked me, lol. I think the dog finished my piece of pizza!

We ended up down in her room, and I'm sorry to say, I was pretty wasted the first time I had sex. I remember bits and pieces, I remember how I got the bruises. If you read my confessions, you saw that I am a masochist. To what degree, I don't know. How much pain is too much pain and then it's not pleasure anymore? I have no idea. But this is where it started.

She bit the top of my breast, and I was like woah! Do that again...harder....harder...oh. my. god. If you bite my chest and breasts, I'll say your name however you want me to say it and I'll love you forever. My chest was bruised for about a week after that. It felt wonderful to push on those bruises. Well, I think it was that night I learned fisting and all that good stuff. It might have been that night. I don't remember. I told you, this was back in my heavy drinking days. I could drink A LOT, but I never puked....but I sure did black out a lot.

In the morning, she said, "Wow you have sharp teeth!" Well, people don't call me a vampire just because of my pale skin..I have super sharp canines...these suckers are designed to rip meat baby. I said, "Yeah, I know." Oh so eloquent, right? She told me she thought I had drawn blood. Woah, I'm not literally a vampire!! "Oh my god! I'm sorry!" She said, "Did I say I was mad about it?" So I suppose she was okay with that.

Anyway, I haven't had sex since S. Well, I sort of dated this guy D, but we never had sex. I had to be shit faced drunk to even let him touch me, so that was how I figured out I'm a lesbian, and not bisexual. I had a lot of bruises from him too...but they weren't from abuse....it's that kinky biting thing, omg I love it. I also like getting my hair pulled...omg I'm weird, lol. So, it's been a loooonnnng time since I've had sex. UGH if only I could get over my hang up with relationships....

Well, at least I have my toys...

Creep me out. The worst ones are when you're at the store and they look at your name on your credit card or ID and then call you by your first name. OMG.

That makes me want to go home and take a shower and brush my teeth.

I always feel really bad when someone comments my posts and I never get a chance to comment theirs. Well, I suppose I can just click their name and read their latest post. But I never do. I don't know why. Basically I only get a chance to read the time stampers. Sometimes I catch someone else's but time stamping actually helps me. That and rec'ing...if a post is rec'd a lot by my friends I read it.

I'm sorry guys, I'll try and do better!!

I really, really hate arrogant, ignorant, and just plain stupid drivers. I will expand on this thought in a different post. When that will be, I have no idea. But it is coming. I just had to point this out.

I. Hate. Stupid. Drivers.

This upcoming post will involve a lot of cursing. For that, I apologize. But you should know, IRL, I cuss. A lot. I generally don't in my blog because writing is very important to me, and I like to be more professional about this, even though I don't get paid (much) for this. I only cuss here when I'm pissed. Stupid drivers piss me off. Royally. Thus, lots of cursing.

I apologize ahead of time for those who have virgin ears.

10 items or less is a simple courtesy when you use the fast lane or the self checkout.

If you have a cart full of shit to scan through, at least the cashier will tell you to go to a different line (or they SHOULD). At the self checkout, 10 items or less.

The reason I'm so pissed off about it is because today we went to Wal-Mart and my dad only had 5 or 6 items to buy, but at all 4 self checkouts, and all the other lanes, had a ton of people. My dad has degenerative arthritis in his back, and his back hurts already without having to stand there for 5 minutes or more waiting for some bitch in the self checkout who has a cart full of shit. Simple fucking courtesy.

10 FUCKING ITEMS OR LESS PEOPLE.

I have loads of ideas for posts, but I'll have to wait until I get my wireless router back from my mom tomorrow night. I'm goin to a rodeo tomorrow night! I haven't been to one since I was 3 or 4. I'm kind of excited...maybe it's the tiny bit of country in me coming out. I'm definitely a city girl, but I love the country too. It's nice and peaceful...but I suppose I can only handle it in small doses.

It's the Deafeat of Jesse James Days, bitches!!! (No, not Sandra Bullock's husband...) Maybe I'll get my camera back tomorrow and take some pics for you guys

I got my hair cut today...it's pretty awesome, I know. Sorry about the trivial "this is what I did today" shit, but I don't want to post my other posts because I want to be able to respond to comments and whatnot....anyways, I better get off my roommate's computer...

I don't really feel like writing today. Gah.

Well, last night I finished season 3 of Lost. OMG. I hate cliff hangers like that. Don't you? Especially if you watch the show as the episodes come out on TV. Don't you just hate it when one of your favorite TV shows leaves the season off with a cliff hanger? Then all summer you can't wait until fall just to see your show and what happens (maybe). Like the season finale of Bones last season...OMG. Like Booth wakes up from surgery and he doesn't know who Bones is. WHAT?! Damnit. And House, the last scene he walks into A MENTAL INSTITUTION!! OMG. Fringe, she ends up in the other dimension with William Bell!!!! Then my one of my newer favorite shows, Mental, he quits (well, gets himself fired) his job and takes off!!! Sometimes even the suspension from week to week is too much....(and notice how most of my favorite shows are on FOX? Cuz FOX rules =])

Yes, I watch too much TV sometimes. Well, I watch most of the shows on the internet because I normally work 2nd shift and I don't have a DVR...

At least with Lost my mom is borrowing me season 4 this weekend, so I only have a few more days to see what happens.

What's the most intense cliff hanger you've ever seen?

EDIT

And now, for your viewing pleasure:

LMAO. There's a story behind this pope soap on a rope, I promise. You know the Living Social app on Facebook? One of my friends answered the "5 Things you would buy that would make the cashier raise their eyebrow" or something like that. So a couple of things on her list were duct tape, a shovel, and handcuffs. She typed in either "rope" or "soap on a rope," I don't remember which one, and she said pope soap on a rope was the first thing that popped up, so she used it because she said it was too funny to pass up. Don't you agree?

LOLZ.

I saw this story a little bit ago on the news in the lunch room here at work. A guy put a monkey mask on to avoid getting speeding tickets when he goes through the zones where they have photo radar in Arizona. I laughed.

Being a speeder myself, I don't go fast enough that they pull me over....and I wouldn't wear a mask to get out of it!

Besides, don't the cameras get your license plates? I guess not....