September 2, 2009

• Farts

  Okay, this is a blog I’ve been meaning to write for a few days now…and I usually don’t talk about poop and farts all the time…it’s just a coinsidence!! Haha.

  So Sunday I was at my dad’s house and I really had to fart. I was holding it in because at my dad’s house, you get teased endlessly for farting. Here’s why.

  My dad farts. A LOT. They normally don’t smell, but they are loud and obnoxious. There were times he would be sitting at one end of the couch, me on the other end. His fart vibrated the ENTIRE couch. Not even kidding (I couldn’t even make this shit up). This happens often. Well, not since he got his recliner…that’s his spot.

  Anyway, it got to the point that my sister and I told him he should go to the doctor for his flatulation problems. He would always respond “You shouldn’t talk about your flatulations” (which, if you don’t know, is a line that comes from Ron White). I’ve gotten him a book on the history of farts for his birthday, birthday cards and Father’s Day cards about farting. One card I got him was one where you opened it and it made very real sounding farts.

  He said that he was going to take it to work and open it under the table at one of his daily management meetings. Well, I don’t think he did that, but he did take it to work and showed all of his buddies.

  Anyway, all this about farting at my dad’s house, so I held it in. Which, if you’ve ever done so, becomes difficult to do. They try to sneak out when you laugh or bend down. But I did.

  The moment I walked out the front door, I let out a very long, loud fart. It was one where someone (like my dad) would have said “check your shorts!”

  But my panties were just fine…no sharting here =]

  • 5:14 pm
  • 7 Comments