LEARN HOW TO DRIVE PEOPLE.

I was driving on a highway where the speed limit is 65. I set my cruise control on 72 MPH and I was in the fast lane. About half a mile ahead of me, this crazy person pulls in front of someone else from a side road. The person had to stomp on their brakes. As I neared this crazy person, she decides to cut me off!! If I wouldn't have stomped on my brakes as hard as I could, I would have rear ended her. As I slowed to her speed, she was GOING 60 MPH IN A 65 ZONE IN THE FUCKING FAST LANE. Needless to say, I passed her, got in front of her, and stomped on my brakes.

Yes, I have road rage. Fuck with me on the road, I will fuck you up.

Not only that, but someone damn near ran me off the road on Saturday. They decided to do a lane change WITHOUT LOOKING IN THEIR BLIND SPOT. Don't assume there's no one there, LOOK, ALWAYS. And don't cut people off when you are very obviously going a lot slower than they are...and you better fucking step on it.

COMMON SENSE PEOPLE.

A murder-suicide.

Ugh it just makes me sick. Anyone who abuses someone else in any way makes me sick. Those poor kids.

Okay, I guess I have to say that I'm a little out of the loop with this whole Boxxy thing on YouTube. If you don't know who she is, she's a hyperactive young woman who made a few vlogs a while ago. Apparently, she shut YouTube down back in January because everyone was trying to watch her video at the same time. You might think she's annoying, but I think she's cute and adorable.

She has since disappeared. If she ever came back to making videos, I think she'd be the biggest web sensation ever. =]

So, people like to laugh at me a lot. Well, they say they aren't laughing at me, but at the things I say. People say that I'm funny. I don't even try to be!! Well, whenever I TRY to be funny, it ends up being the big Epic Fail....most of the time.

A while back, I was at work, and one of my co-workers asked me what I was doing for the weekend. I honestly don't remember what I had going on for the weekend, but I know it was something I HAD to do, not something I WANTED to do.

I told her, and she goes, "That's gay."

I said, "Well, just because I'M gay, doesn't mean that everything I DO is gay."

I got three blank stares.

She goes, "Are you serious?"

I laughed, and said no. WTF, man, WTF.

At least everyone laughed after that. But really, what the hell? I thought it was funny, but apparently not. I guess I just shouldn't try to be funny...and when I don't try, I am funny. Apparently it's my mostly dry, sarcastic humor that gets everyone rollin.

Well, whatever.

FAIL.

Recent events in my life have me thinking. Maybe I should move back to my mother's house. My crazy, insane mother. Would it be better or worse than my room mate having a meth head boyfriend?

I just don't know. I don't know what to do.

If I moved, I would have to quit my job. I refuse to drive an hour + one way to work everyday. What would I do about school? I would have to pick a different major.

fml

Have you ever felt your dreams slipping away? Like they're right there in front of you, little bubbles. Inside them you can see everything. They bring smiles to your face. Then they just start floating away, or popping. It's intensely disappointing. It's a terrible feeling.

I'm going to give you a series of events. I want you tell me when enough is enough. Let's play Let's Just Say.....

Okay, so the first thing is your significant other is a meth addict. But, you love this person. The next thing is that this person spanks your kids and leaves bruises.

Your children get taken away by child protection. You get your children back, and the county says that your SO isn't to have contact with the kids.

Your SO lives in the house anyway.

Your kids get taken away again. This time, the county requires proof that this person has vacated the house and No Contact is strictly enforced.

You have to go to court several times.

You lose your job because you miss too much work because of this. You are unable to receive unemplyment benefits.

Your SO is a dick. This person treats everyone like shit, even you. This person is a thief and a liar. This person is hyper-paranoid.

This person steals your best friend's car and almost gets it impounded.

So, to sum it all up, you've lost your friends, your kids twice, your job, and the only employed person in the house, so you are going to lose your house.

Where would you draw the line? When is enough enough? Or, if you were this person's best friend, and you were watching them destroy their lives over a loser like this, what would you say?

I haven't been writing like I used to. I used to fill up a whole notebook full of one story. That was 10 years ago. Where has the writer in me gone? How did she leave and when? This is greatly upsetting to me. I can't focus anymore.

Maybe going back to school in the spring will help me focus. I just don't know.

It's a bad taste in my mouth. It's acid in my stomach.

It hurts.

When someone betrays me that crosses a line, I cut all ties. I don't look back. I don't forgive, and I don't forget.

It sounds harsh, but that's life. When you think you can trust someone. When you think they have your back.

Then this happens.

I haven't cried yet. Will I?

I don't know.

Am I really a cold-hearted bitch? Do I really not feel like others feel? I guess if that's all true, it's circumstantial. I was raised this way.

I guess this is what it feels like when you're all alone in the world.