December 22, 2008

• going out.

  So us ladies went out last night. It was me, my room mate Becky, my room mate Gayle, my room mate Susan and her new girlfriend Becky, and our friend Kim. It was a pretty good time. I suck at darts!! I almost died though. Gayle drove me, Becky and Kim. Well, there was a snow storm that was blizzard-like at times, and she was riding people’s asses!! OMG.

  Anyway, I got pics of myself and my rabbit. The rest of the night, I forgot about my camera. So before I go any further, I present Ash:

  

  

  And here’s pics of me and my new black hair:

  

  

  It looks like I’m stoned, but I’m not!!

  (By the way, behind me on my bed are random Christmas gifts. I spent about $300 on gifts this year!!!! How much did you spend?!)

  Anyways, I had a red headed slut, omg yum!! Some beer, a wicked hippie, and 2 raspberry dreamsicles. Pretty damn tasty. Susan was proud of me for having a slut

  I think the bartender screwed up my tab. I think I owed more than I ended up paying…

  So as the evening progressed…well, more towards the end of the night…Susan and I started talking. Well, before I say anything else, her new girlfriend is a psycho therapist. But apparently she tries to keep her job separate from her home life. Anyway, the three of us started talking. Well, I suppose I should give a little more history on myself and Susan first…

  A while back, I posted my coming out story. There’s a little more to it than what I posted. For one thing, Susan was my first sexual encounter ever. Well, since my childhood. The only thing I’m going to say is that I was molested. So that shades my sexuality with men. Anyway, when Susan and I were together, I was still pretty unstable in my life. I was cutting and on the verge of becoming an alcoholic. Then there was a “friend” of ours, Christine, who whispered lies in my ears about Susan and the kind of person she was. I believed Chris and her lies. Since then, I’ve learned better. Well, it was my first “relationship” and didn’t know what to expect. Susan likes to flirt, with everybody. This jealousy was foreign to me and I didn’t know how to handle it. So all the alcohol I was drinking all the time made me behave in undesirable ways. And there were a couple of other things that happened. Anyway, since then, Susan and I never really talked about what happened between us. Until last night.

  So Susan feels guilty for treating me the way she did. She doesn’t regret what happened, but she felt like I wasn’t ready. I didn’t really know who I was at that point in time, so finding out that I was a lesbian kind of rocked my world in a negative way. She feels bad for this. She wanted to let me know that I mean a lot to her and that I’m one of her best friends. I told her that I didn’t blame her for anything because of what I was going through at the time and it wasn’t that big of a deal. I accepted her apology and everything is all good.

  So Susan and Becky are taking me shopping for sex toys and they are taking me out to a gay bar. They want me to have more friends in the community so that I have more friends that I can relate to. Maybe I’ll even find a girlfriend I was thinking about asking Susan if she could hook me up with someone anyway. And they were talking about throwing Susan a huge party for her 40th birthday in a year a half. So Becky has two little girls, 6 and 3. Well, Becky said they’d reserve a room for me. “It might have a Princess blanket and a Princess pillow but it’s still a bed!!”

  Anyway, after a while Becky and Susan left, and the other Becky, Kim, Gayle and myself went over to Gayle’s sister’s house. Well, no one really likes Gayle or her boyfriend Jeremy, but whatever. And that’s actually why Susan hasn’t been home in two weeks. Well, I don’t really like her sisters any more than Gayle. They’re mean :/ Plus, the one doesn’t know how to make sugar cookies. They were all clumped together and tasted like ass. But I ate a couple, just to be nice. It’s not like I’m going to ask where the garbage is so I can spit them out…

  But anyway, I’ve gotta go to bed because I’m really tired!!!

  • 3:37 am
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