September 6, 2008

• The Ice Queen

  I have so many thoughts rolling around in my head.

  ~

  I just finished reading The Ice Queen by Alice Hoffman. It’s a relatively short novel. There wasn’t a lot of dialogue, and normally I don’t like those kinds of books. There was a Danielle Steel book that I tried readng some time ago, but I could never get past the first chapter because there’s no dialogue. But The Ice Queen was different. It was intriguing to me.

  It’s about a woman who lost her mother at the tender age of 8, and from then on she’s lost. She’s cold, she doesn’t live. She simply exists. She’s obsessed with death and dying, and all the kinds of ways to die. Like all novels, the characters go on a journey. She learns to feel, she learns to love, and she learns to live. This novel has so many sentences in it that remind me of me. “I was trapped behind glass, cold, empty, dead inside.”

  The way it’s written, how personal it seems. It makes me wonder if these are secretly the author’s voice, her own pain in life woven into a story of fiction. I know everything a writer writes inadvertantly has a piece of them inside of it, a mystery piece.

  I recommed it for everyone willing to go on a journey.

  ~

  I started my Intro to Creative Writing class last week. I read the assigned pages last night during lunch at work. One of the pieces the intructor had us read was on journaling. On how writers should keep a journal to keep them disciplined in their craft. I also read that in our pages. Writing isn’t just talent and skill and technique, it’s discipline. I know this. I also read this sentence: “Writers write; posers talk about writing.” I truly believe that I’m not a poser. I know in my heart that I am a writer. And I know what my problem is when it comes to writing.

  I’m afraid. I’m afraid of failure, I’m afraid of rejection. I’m deathly afraid. In my heart of hearts, I know I’m a writer. I have so much to say, but it’s that fear that keeps me from writing. It’s dibilitating, this fear. But I think taking this class is a step towards overcoming that fear.

  ~

  Now that the serious stuff is over, I’ll talk about the small things.

  It’s raining today. It’s a little chilly, just the way I love it. If I were to go outside in the rain, I think it would be a cold rain. It started out as a light summery rain, but every once in awhile it pours. Even as it’s raining, I ca see the sprinklers on. It’s a little ironic, don’t you think? It’s not my choice to have the sprinklers on, that’s the association.

  Rachel wants to get an apartment with me, but I’m not so sure. I’d love to get an apartment with my sister, don’t get me wrong, but she wants to bring her sort of boyfriend along. I don’t like the situation because he’s currently with someone else, someone who just gave birth to his twin girls. I don’t know. We’ll see what happens.

  • 7:17 pm
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