August 16, 2008
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sometimes you just have to break
Sometimes, things happen. Things you can’t control. You just have to do the best you can. And the best is good enough. You’re always going to have regrets in your life. Should I have done that differently? Should I have said that instead? All a person can do, is speak from their heart. If it’s truth, if it’s honest, it works. Sometimes the truth hurts. A lot of times it hurts. But all a person can do, is say, yes, I’ve made mistakes, but I’m going to move on. I know what I’ve done wrong, and I can fix it now.
Life isn’t cut and dry, life isn’t black and white. Life isn’t a pretty box wrapped in elegant wrapping paper. It’s filled with shadows and grief. Sadness and strife. You have to remember every perfect moment, because they don’t happen often. Take the bad, and shape it. Mold it. You can. There’s always something good that comes with it, however small it may be.
I don’t always know the right words. Most of the time I don’t. All I can do is be here. Sometimes an ear is enough. Sometimes a hug.
~ยค~
Your experiences shape who you are.
I have a deep and profound understanding of life. Of forgiveness. My path grows stronger as time goes on. Every time I ever thought of killing myself, that something stopped me. Something strong, keeping me alive. Because I have a real purpose of being on this earth. Even if I change only one person’s life from this purpose, that will be enough.
Yes, I hold so much of myself in. Yes, I won’t show you all of me. I don’t break hearts, I get my heart broken. I’m deep, intelligent, beautiful. I’m loved, sweet, genuine. I’m shy and outgoing. I’m the best friend you will ever meet. I laugh, I cry. I smile, I frown. Sometimes you can read my face. Sometimes, you can’t. I can whisper sweet poetry in your ear. I can make you cry with my life stories. I can make you laugh with my infectious smile. My eyes can be electric blue fire, or cold ice. There’s so many sides of me, so many you’ll never see. A real crystal, like my namesake, so many facets, reflections and rainbows. My words can make you think. My words might be all I have at times. They have a voice all their own. Sometimes I don’t know who I am. Sometimes I falter. I am strength. I have high walls, tall gates, and thick baracades. Only the strongest will find their way in through the cracks. I am forgiving, I am an old soul. Sometimes I am weary, sometimes I am old; don’t let my age fool you. Sometimes, all I know is, I am me.
