wow. it’s been awhile. im on myspace more, so ya…..theres just more to do there, ya know?
life sucks…but what else is new?
ive started college, go me. while im excited for the next step in my life, im also depressed about it because its so incredibly hard reaching the goal. there’s several obsticles….such as not being able to afford it. ya….my full time job isn’t enough, im seriously broke all the time. i havent been able to really buy groceries for about 2 months, and ive lost 17 pounds because of it. that’s a good thing, but i wish i was losing it a different way…well, i have been excericising…so that helps too. i need to get another job, a part time one for the nights i dont have any classes. if i dont, im going to be struggling so bad every month. im living with my dad, and i have to pay $400 in rent. ($350 for rent, $50 for cable) and i have my phone bills and basic living expenses, like gas. this week i didnt have enough money for gas. i have less than $3 in my checking, and less than a 1/4 tank of gas until i get paid this friday. that doesnt work. can i call in sick because i dont have enough gas to get to work?? i have $15 in cash, so i think ill be good though, so i dont have to bounce a check. im going to be hungry this week though. that really sucks.
what else is new with me? nothing really. i got a drunken phone call from my friend holly friday night, that was interesting. we talked for like 2 hours, that was great. i didnt go to bed this morning until about 6:30 in the morning. i woke up at about noon.
oh, i know! i have a new favorite kind of music….heavy heavy heavy metal, goth rock, industrial, industrial techno, and darkwave. cradle of filth, the birthday massacre, and theatres des vampires rocks my socks…and i love ayria, shes awesome. i have limewire…..shhhh!!!! haha dont tell anyone…..
i have scars all over my thighs from cutting…its like getting high, its great. although thursday night was the first time i cut in awhile…..i think its because theres this guy at work that i really really really like and he gives me the warm fuzzy feeling so im not as sad and depressed all the time…..
