Ahhhh I'm tired.

I 'm learning how to pack a new store. It's a pain in the ass. There's 7 new stores that need to get done in 3 days next week. That'll be a challenge.

My weekend was alright.

My back hurts.

Happy Memorial Day.

I got my birthday gifts from my mother.

Hooray.

I colored my hair again.

OMG did work suck today, kinda. We had NO work...there was like no orders that came down...so the orders we did get I hadda go super slow to keep myself busy. They sent the temps home before lunch, that's how slow it was...then they ended up sending a lot of the core staff home with an hour left in the day. Well, I looked at my check today and whoot!!! I got a raise!!!! Before Judi got rid of me, she put through the paperwork so I was a back-up level 2 (picking, packing, and metering) as opposed to a level 1 (just picking and packing), so I got a $.75 raise, which kicked ass. And I signed up for the work powerball thing, everyone puts in $5, so ya. If we win, we get...something. I don't remember. I also bought $5 of my own powerball....

TGIF!!!

THREE DAY WEEKEND!!!!

YAY!!!!

GAH.

My body is sore. I worked my ass off yesterday.....and I'm definately feeling it today.

I feel like I'm losing. Things were going good for a day or two a couple weeks ago, and I knew things were going to turn to shit before long, and I was right. I must've been evil in a former life to deserve this one.

I'm hungry.

Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you you're cool and fuck you.

*EDIT*
I'm writing. It's going very well. I've written a lot. It's a story called Sleeping Beauty. I hope I can make it into a novel. I have a lot of good ideas for this one.
This is beautiful (just cuz I wrote it! lol)...it's a small sample of my story:
The setting sun shone on her face, lighting her hair on fire. Eyes of jade cried tears of ice in the firestorm surrounding her. Sharp steel glinted in the storm, brought down on skin by an irresistible force. A silent scream echoed in her head and she instantly felt better.

BLAAAHHHHHH.

That's all I have to say for now.

Moving. I guess I was really loud coming home last night...that I don't remember. I thought I was quiet....but whatever. Fucking a I hate buying groceries...so fucking expensive

And I hate moving...thank god it's only 3 miles away from the new place. I hate AOL.

I'm sorry, I guess I'm not in a very good mood...

I'm sorry, Lost_Muse, I'll read your story when I'm in a better mood....

*EDIT*
It seems like every day my dad is on my back about something. He's never happy with me and he always finds something to be unhappy with me about. I always disappoint him in some way. Everything I do wrong he treats me like a moron, like I should know. I'm only 19 and he thinks I should know everything about the world. He never steps off and lets me learn, he always thinks I should just know. If I've never had that experience before, how am I supposed to know? And it's about everything I do, every question I ask. He makes me feel so stupid all the time. I'm so sick of him and I hate living with him. I spend all my time in my room now. I can't stand being around him.
My mother called me last night. She sounded drunk when she left the message. I called her back today. She was talking about BBQ at my aunt's house for Memorial Day. Then all she did was complain. She also said that she's dying. I don't believe her.

*EDIT 2*
I spent forever making this layout, I don't know why.

Work was fun today. We did a lot of talking and laughing today, that's always nice. I can't type very well right now cuz I had 3 beers at Jen's...but I didn't drive, so it's ok....well, gonna go to bed now. gnight...

So ya...I haven't had a computer almost all week cuz of the move. Now we're back to dial up and it sucks. Hopefully we'll get broadband through the cable soon.

Nothing new in the world of me....

I silently cry in front of you. You take no notice at my pleas for help. You go about your business and I go about mine. I can't focus, everything's blurry. Please make this ride stop. I'm in the tea cup and spinning out of control. Please come and save me before I die in this whirling torture. Why did I get on this ride? If only someone will come and stop it for me. Spinning spinning spinning, never stopping. Faster faster faster. Everything's such a blur and I can't stop. I don't know what's going on around me and all the faces blend together in the carnival ride from hell. People leer and laugh, pointing. A voice comes through the loud speakers: "Has anyone ever touched you in these inappropriate places?" It echos and echos forever. Tears spill as I cry and spin yet faster. My young mind can't take it and I'm stuck here in this void. Everyone laughs at the voice, everyone laughs as my tears fly. What happened to me? Why can't I remember? Faded and blurred memories make me scream at the top of my lungs but no one hears. Music and laughter blend together in the blur of this life. Please let me off this ride, I think I'm gonna be sick. Hiding in the dark closet, listening to the witch threaten with a knife. She's going to kill me soon, I know it. Fear grabs hold and I can't breathe, can't breathe, can't breathe. The loudness comes back to me now as I open my eyes and see more and more blurred faces gathering, laughing at me. Is it possible for this to go faster? Trying to spin out my memories, spin out my life, trying to forget. The drunken nights of screaming and fear aren't easily erasable. Trying with all my might, not letting go of this ride. Tears and blood mix together as the ride forever spins. Always alone but always watched.
wandering alone
in this desert
needing water to survive
but finding none
I scream at the top of my lungs and silence. The echoing of my heartbeat. Darkness. Fear. Am I awake from this nightmare? Alone and crying, crying and alone. No one understands how I feel. No one can possible know. Awake yet dreaming, dreaming yet awake. When will it end?

I can't sleep. I've tried but I can't. FUCK IT.