March 7, 2005

  • lost and barely surviving. i wonder what the sky looks like in your world. its right next to mine, but the glass is blurred. its cold and snowy here … the clouds are black. theres no sun. what does your world look like? theres nothing happy in mine. the same scene, every day. does yours change? in my world, nothing is happy and bright; everything is dark and scary. does is rain sparkles in your world? i wander alone, through the trees and fog. sometimes i can see into your world. its so beautiful … i can only catch glimpses sometimes. it snows forever here … there, does it only rain sometimes? my tiny footsteps in the snow disappear as i run, frightened. its so dark here, so lonely. scraps for clothes and ice for tears. im so beautiful, but so cold. my dress is light blue, the color of frozen water. my skin is so pale, almost transluscent. do you cry like i do? i cry for eternity, never stopping, until someone breaks me. the darkness closes in and i huddle there, so cold, shivering. against the tree, the unforgiving tree. she hates me for being so cold, bringing it with me wherever i go. i press my hands to my ears to stop the silence that stretches for miles. my blue eyes follow the snowflakes falling. the same thoughts flow through my mind all the time, the same daydreaming. i want to be in a happy world, like yours. cant you see my pain? dont you look into my world from time to time? time goes by so fast … there goes a second, a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month … a year. its all the same. and you dont care. can you help me? can you make me a part of your world with beautiful gowns and curly hair and smiles? my frowns and sad smiles hurt me and hurt the unforgiving tree. the unforgiving tree and all her sadness. the eternal sadness that flows through my viens also flows through hers and she hates me for it but shields me from the storm.


    are you happy in your world? i can see you now, next door to my world. i wave, you pretend not to notice me. i turn around and go back, once again, to the unforgiving tree, my tears turning to icicles on my cheeks.