Yes, I know it was teasing...

But today is a bad day for Crystal because Crystal is sad because her mom is leaving her today...See? Abandonment comes true...I knew it would happen one day, that's why I kept dreaming about it. Am I psychic? Anyways, we're playing trench today for spring week...missing 2nd and 3rd hours...yeah. Last year it was hilarious because there was this kid...he ducked every time a ball flew over his head....it didn't matter if it was 10 feet over...and he'd spread his arms and legs out and hop from one foot to another...the entire gym was watching him...it was great!! Anyways...I'm gonna be late to class if I don't move my ass....

Update:

Yeah, I have study hall in the library/computer lab....isn't that great? Anyways, I think I upset Eyore last night when I threw him off the bed...if it had been Puppy, I wouldn't have thrown him. This one time, I had this huge Pooh bear, and this one night I threw him all the way across the room while I was sleeping...LoL...I think I'll always sleep with stuffed animals...until I have a man to sleep with of course  and I promise I won't throw him off the bed

I'm tired today....I had almost 10 hours of sleep last night and I'm still tired! I went to bed at 9:30, and woke up at 7:10...didn't get out of bed until 7:18...I'm so lazy!! Anyways, I'm gonna go work on my quilt during my study hall today...so buh bye!!!

I'm working on my quilt right now and I just frickin stabbed myself with the needle. It hurt...I kinda ripped my cuticle apart, but it didn't bleed, thank God. I can't stand bloody injuries...omg. Like on that one episode of Frasier where Niles cuts hisself on the scissors and it bleeds a tiny bit and he passes out and then the iron starts a fire...LoL!!!! Actually, I'm laughin more than lol right now...it's more like lmao...That is just so hilarious!! Anyways, I wanna finish this part of my quilt tonight, so I gotta go...Joy Joy, you are too funny! asno...I think that's what it was...ya stumpy ass!!! lmao!

Update:

Okay, I'm done with my quilt for tonight...my fingers hurt really bad...."My fingers hurt." "What? What was that?" "I said my fingers hurt." "Well now your back is gonna hurt cuz you just pulled landscaping duty!" lol...Happy Gilmore...hell yeah!! But my fingers really do hurt...that needle is wicked on the fingers...now I'm kinda bored...my fingers are cramped too...ow. There's nothing here for dinner, so I won't be eating tonight.

Okay, so I lied. I ate Subway...only a 6 inch and I'm frickin full...my mom's friend gave it to me...it was kinda gross though...I dunno what he put on it, but it was gross............ and I really wanna talk to R...

Anthony, you got into a car accident!!!!!!!! What the fuck...you should pay attention to the road man, not go drivin off no curves there...hey, I miss you!!!! You should come visit us here the last senior day...Spanish just ain't the same without ya buddy!!!! Hope you're feelin better...talk to me here!!

Well, I went back to sleep for awhile. Actually, I kinda slept in. And, after I got ready for school, I laid down and slept some more. And someone took the frickin phone off the hook or something so I couldn't go onto aol again...drr. I think my mom hates me. Wow...I have a green design on my thumb from my fake thumb ring...interesting.

I could have sworn that a halo around the moon meant something...not just that it's beautiful...but oh well I suppose.

I'm tired and my frickin butt hurts. I think it's gotten too frickin bony, just like Rachel's used to be...I mean, my pants don't even fit right anymore!! Any of them! I hate that when my pants aren't tight...grr. And I forgot to put my belt on this morning, so I'm probably gonna hafta be pulling them up all day...grr. Anyways, drr grr arg blah kurchaah...I'm outta here...

Update:

I have a demonstration speech to do tomorrow...I haven't even made my cookies...oatmeal scotchies...yummy ummy...

My butt hurts cuz I was swinging yesterday...yay fun fun tiredness and boredom in study hall...blah

Anudder update:

Now my elbow hurts. I don't know what to think of this whole situation here with these people. Unanswered questions linger in the air like a suffocating blanket of dust in the hot summer sun. Isn't that beautiful? I made it up sometime this weekend while talking to someone. It fits perfectly with my mood right now. J answered some of my questions, but couldn't answer all the ones I had about R. For a best friend he didn't know much. Oh well I suppose. A far away dream quickly dies all too soon. Cute little poetic sayings and I thought my necklace just broke but it didn't...DAMNIT!! I'm frusturated right now. Grr.

I can't sleep. Almost all night long, my mom was frickin pounding on the floor with her feet, walking all over the place, and I couldn't hardly fall sleep and now I woke up very early...grr. anyways, kinda bored, but oh well I guess and damnit...I was just talking to Joe but he got booted or something drr. My knee hurts...what's it's problem?? No, it ain't old age

Anything else going on in the world of Crystal?...nope! Just kinda cold cuz all the frickin windows are open!! And lilacs smell good!

What does it mean when the moon has a halo?

I love cheese.

Mr. S. makes me wanna tear my ears off.

Update:

So I just ate Subway instead. It was yummy. And I just tripped up the frickin stairs...yea. I'm in a weird mood. Silly like. Tyler's here...cutie. It's his birthday today, so happy birthday to Tyler! He's 5 today...

Another update:

"sand slushies pretend hairdryers talk in vincent's dictionary" LOL Joy Joy!!!!!! Yeppers that's how it goes!!

I just read and remembered: cowboys don't lie.

All I want is happiness. Is that too much to ask? I guess so because I have none. And am I making my feelings worse and magnifying them because I'm wallowing in them? My fingers fly over this keyboard faster than they ever have before.....I just want it. I want it so bad. I wanna feel it. I want I want I want...am I being selfish for thinking of myself?! I do not know. All I know is that I am sad and I want it to stop.

I haven't heard from anyone and it's making me anxious. General Anxiety Disorder kicks in...

I thought I had a doc appt today, but I was wrong. It's on the 18th. Yeah, to see if the meds I'm not taking are working. Orange Juice is yummy ummy. I have that song "Video" by India.Arie stuck in my head. "I'm not the average girl from the video..." I don't remember much besides that, but it's stuck in my head nonetheless. Supercalafragalisticxmealadocious. Is that how you spell it? What does that word mean? Is it in the dictionary?

Anyways, I'm kinda like eh today. It stormed pretty good last night. Someone left the door downstairs to the backyard unlocked and it blew open, letting the rain come in the house. Pretty cool. There was so much lightening that there was a constant rumble of thunder, and when it was close, there would be this house shaking boom or crash or rumble. The rumble ones are my favorite. I dunno why. I wish I could do email in school, but no. In my old school we could do email, but only if our work was done. I wonder if they've changed it. I went there 3 years ago. It was cool. When I was there, I said I hated it, but now that I'm gone, I miss it. It goes back to "You don't know what you have until it's gone." Ain't that the truth.

I'm really depressed about my mom. We were supposed to open a business together, but I guess the plans got lost somewhere. In the back of my mind, I knew it wouldn't happen. But I always have hope. But hope turns to disappointment and disappointment is bitter. Why do I always do this to myself? I set myself up for it everytime, so I share the blame in my hurt. I wish I could listen to some music right now, but I'm at school and there's no music here. It's all in my head. "Cuz it's always rainin in my head..." - Staind. "Someday somehow I'm gonna make it all right but not right now I know you're wondering when Someday somehow I'm gonna make it all right but not right now I know you're wondering when." - Nickelback.

I am so sad. I haven't been able to do my homework because of it. I forgot I even brought home my analytic geometry to work on because I'm so sad. Shock is still coursing through my veins from my mother's news. I wanted to stay through cheesefest. And I just got even more depressed because my dad doesn't have a computer. What am I going to do? I can't live without a computer. It's essential to my daily survival, I swear. If I can't write in this journal whenever I feel sad or happy or have news to share...I don't know what I'm going to do. My dad can't afford to buy one...he's struggling to come up with the money I need to graduate...to get my cap and gown and announcements and everything else my mom wanted me to order so she should be paying for it, but she claims she has no money. Whatever.

The storms are almost here...lightening scorches the horizon...I love the prestorm...it's not raining yet but you can still see the lightening and hear the thunder once it gets closer...