May 23, 2004
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Last night was hard. Really hard. My lifeline was my quilt. Mindless work. Where I didn’t have to think about anything else except concentrate on what I was doing.
Stick the needle in the corner of the square, through all three layers. Bring it back up kitty corner of the next square, feel underneath, make sure the thread isn’t too far away back there. Drag it through, make the two even, cut the thread right there, set needle aside. Left string over right, loop through once, twice. Right string over left, loop through once, twice. Cut them about half an ince from fabric. Move on. Pills . . . Stick the needle . . . move on . . . Knife . . . Stick the needle . . . move on . . . Run away . . . Stick the needle . . . move on . . .
I did this until 3 in the morning, until my fingers were ready to bleed at the blisters. I finally laid on my quilt, thinking. I wanted to, but Taylor needed me last night, my other life line. Maybe tonight, when I get home from the country music concert my step dad is taking us to . . .
Update:
It’s raining. If I wasn’t in such a bad mood, I’d dance in it. Maybe later. I looked at the radar and it’s gonna be rainin for long time, but there’s gonna be a short break in a little bit, unless something develops there. So there’s room for my mood to change. I slept almost all day today. I spent about an hour or so doing grad announcements. I got halfways done. I don’t think we’re going to the concert tonight, both of them are sick. Oh well, I should’ve expected it…it’s all good.
