People are weird.

update:

Get 'er done!! That's our senior saying...teehee!

Graduation... :tear: :sniff:

School is slowly killing me. I swear, not being able to go to sleep at 3 in the morning and waking up at noon is killing me. I lay awake for forever every night I have to go to school the next morning, unable to sleep. That's just how my natural sleep cycle is, and I can't change it. School is not healthy for me....grr. Cuz I'm so frickin tired!!

I'm writing......go me!! It's storming outside, but I haven't heard any thunder in awhile...

yeah, I'm really frickin bored right now....grr

It's hella windy outside!!! Frickin 45-49 mile an hour...holy shit! I have a question...............where the HELL can a 14 foot trampoline go?!?! My neighbor's trampoline blew away, and no one can find it!! Isn't that insane?! Anyway, last night, there were some severe thunderstorms...to the south of us. Today, there are severe thunderstorms...to the north of us. When the HELL is it our turn?! I happen to love thunderstorms and this isn't fair. GRRR. I love country music...I wanna go on a shopping spree for country CD's. Yeehaw!! lol

update:

I'm really fucking bored right now!!!!!! aahhh!! (no, I'm not doing my homework...)

Tym could compete at state, so yay for him. I just back from the speech banquet at school...I got shit except for my award. I love my coach, she is so sweet! She gave all of us seniors leaving the team a picture of the entire team, framed and everything. She started to cry as she gave them to us...I almost cried. Lindsay was crying...I'm gonna miss speech so much, no matter how much I suck. So yeah...I was kinda sad that the season is over. But I saw the funniest speech at state...omfg, I laughed so hard!! It was in creative expression, where you can write your own speech, and there was this one called George W., and it was totally Bush bashing!! It was so great...he thought he was the son of God...it was awesome. But we went swimming in the hotel Thursday night, it was so fun, they had a slide...woohoo! We ate at Old Chicago. Then Friday we only half a van full, cuz half of us decided to ride with Pat and his mom on the way back.

I saw The Prince and Me last night...I loved it. But now I want to fall in love...really bad! I wanna meet my Prince Charming, my Knight in Shining Armor, and ride away to a happier place...:sigh: But I have a ton of homework to do...so yea...

State...damn, I'm upset that I didn't make it, but I'm excited for Jordan and Tym. We leave today at 4:30 and I dunno what time we're getting back tomorrow. My goddamn phone bill is due today and I can't get it, cuz guess what, it's at the apartment and I can't get ahold of my mom. So yea. She doesn't even know that I'm goin up to the cities tonight, and I don't bother leaving a message cuz she never checks them. My sister called her once from my phone and she told me that her voicemailbox was full...so yeah. I dunno.

"Hold On"

"This world
This world is cold
But you don't
You don't have to go
You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care
You're mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear


But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through


Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know


Your days
You say they're way too long
And your nights
You can't sleep at all
Hold on
And you're not sure what you're waiting for, but you don't want to no more
And you're not sure what you're looking for, but you don't want to no more


But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through


Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on


What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you're doing to me?
Go ahead...What are you waiting for?


Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Hold on"

I love this song......I love love love it!! It makes me feel a lot better when I feel hopeless. I'm wearing my pink fuzzy slippers today...everyone keeps telling me nice shoes...hehe! Anyways, talk to everyone later....oh fuck. I think Tym just found out that the screenplay is not published...he won't be able to compete! OMG! I feel so bad...

I still haven't done anything regarding my country report...blah. I don't care right now. I'm at Miranda's house. Alexis is craaazy! haha...still haven't talked to my mom........I am definately going to the cities tomorrow night. I'm gonna be rooming with Stacy, Jordan, and Kirsten. So yeah, I guess we got some big rooms, which usually means suites, so yay. I'm kinda excited now. I need to either get my check blanks or make a withdrawl so I can eat, which is the only thing I have to pay for. And I guess only the senior teammates can go...cuz seniority rules! So yay...still depressed about my future...so blah. I have like, no clean clothes. And on Sunday there's this speech banquet and awards ceremony (like I'm gonna get any awards...), and my family is supposed to come and we have to bring a dish to share cuz it's a pot luck thinger, but I haven't talked to my mom. I've tried calling her a few times and went over there, but she hasn't answered either, so grr. I guess I'll have to go by myself. That's why I didn't go last year, because she didn't come with me and I didn't wanna go alone, but this is my senior year, so whatever. I'm gonna go anyway...so yea, have a good night everyone!

update:

Today was a good day after awhile, I guess. It was hectic in Spanish, as always. Julia was laughing at me cuz she loves my laugh...everyone tells me that...that they love my laugh. And Nicole, she's just crazy. Tym might not be able to compete at state...he can't find proof that the A Time to Kill screenscript was ever published, which you need to compete...that would really piss me off! But anyway, I wanna copy Johnathon's (Miranda's brother) CD that has "I Love This Bar" on it, I love that song! But he's not here, if he even has that cd anymore. He used to listen to it full blast when I lived here. That seems like ages ago, but it was fun. I missed Kota! (their lil dog) He missed me too, he used to sleep with me almost every night! He toh cute! (that's baby talk, by the way!!)

I'll try not to do anything drastic, but I'm really feelin like it...lunch time and no lunch money...well, the trip to state is taking shape. I need to talk to my speech coach later today...they're trying to find enough hotel rooms for all the seniors on our team...score!! But I'm not that excited...but I'm good at pretending...aren't I? Or not...

Anyway, I'm losing motivation and hope very quickly right now...I dunno what's wrong with me. Maybe I'm finally letting my guard down and people are upsetting me...I dunno.

And I'm sorry! I haven't been reading your story...you know who you are...but I've been talking to someone nearly all spring break... Didja have a good time in Cancun? Kinda sounds like it...

Ah yes. Speaking of belt loops, I broke one yesterday

I know how a caged animal feels like. I feel like one. I feel like, if I don't get OUT, right NOW, I will lose it. I'm halfway there...all I need to do is pour the rest of the water down the sink. Cuz the glass is already half empty...And I dunno about that whole "hang in there" thing. Honestly...how long can I "hang in there"??

I'm feeling so desperate right now, like I'll do anything to get away. Maybe I'll hitchhike down to FL and be a bartender on the beach somewhere...could be fun, ya never know. I'm feeling extremely suicidal right now also...like nothing is ever gonna be right.

And I went to Liz's yesterday and used her computer for awhile. I wrote emails... I couldn't do my homework though. I have this huge paper that I had to type, and yeah, I can't find a computer...I can't do it at school, because I don't have the time it would take...it's like a 10 page paper. I have it all written out, I just need to type it. The teacher is gonna chew me a new one...she's a bitch just in grading regular homework...that she gives every goddamn day...

Anyway, have a nice day everyone!

update:

The senior countdown is up on the wall...it still doesn't make me feel happy...33 days. Ack....blah blah blah

another update...

you know, it's amazing. If all these people are stumbling across my site, it never ceases to amaze me how many people don't leave a comment...whenever I go trapsing around, I always leave comments! Grr...maybe I'm just a nice person? I dunno...sorry for my rant!

I love this movie! It's cute and I love it cuz in the end, she chooses what her heart tells her, and I love that. "Why would you wanna marry me anyway?" "So I can kiss you anytime I want." Aahh, that's so cute! And I love their accents. My aunt was born in Alabama and lived in Texas, but her accent is all Minnesota now...pretty much. I hate MN, I wanna LEAVE!! NOW! arg. It's too goddamn cold for me. I hate the cold! But anyway, I saw almost everyone today...Happy Easter, by the way! I saw my lil cousin, oh is he cute! He's almost 2 now...and they have another one on the way. AND, Yolanda, my other aunt is due in a few months...but she nor my uncle was there today...my dad wasn't there either. And I'm talking about my grandma's house, btw. And OMG....I'm down to my last Pepper and I have no cash...I gotta make this pop last! Anyway, have a nice Easter everyone!