March 26, 2004

• I am so fucking depressed right now……..

  
  

  So I went to the speech meet, hoping to do good, willing myself to do good. So the first and second rounds go good. The third round, I forgot my speech, and had to freeze for half a minute to try and remember it….horrible. So afterwards, I go out and I cry. Then I talk to the judge from 3rd round. She told me that I did good considering, and she only docked me a coupla points or whatever. So I’m feelin good…awards roll around…and guess what. I don’t make it to sections. I did last year, and I was a rookie last year. So fuck. I’m feelin pretty suicidal. When I got on the bus, I cried some more. The bus ride home was an hour and a half…very foggy out……But what makes it worse is that when I get home, there’s no one here. And I’m really feelin like I can’t be alone right now. But whatever…I kill myself, I kill myself. Stay tuned until whenever to see if I’m still around.

  • 3:49 am
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