February 16, 2004

• May I cry now?

  
  

  I had a dream last night. I’ll share it…

  
  

  I am in another country with my mom. I am afraid to have the lights on. I don’t know why. I go down to the basement where my mom is on the phone. She introduces this guy to me. She tells me that he loves to read, that his room is 2/3 full of books. So I go with him and I discover that he also loves movies. I see something that I want and I ask him how much he wants me to pay him for it. It’s a two-movie set of DVD’s. I open one side and discover that there is something missing. I point to the empty space. I open the other side and discover that there is another thing missing. I point to it and ask him where they are. He says he doesn’t know. I realize that he is much taller than me (I am only 5 ft. tall, so anyone over 5’4″ is a giant to me…) and older. I then say, “You know how much I love Final Fantasy,” (although I have no idea how he could know, since I only just met him), then we leave.

  
  

  This country is one of turmoil. There were rebel forces ruling, then the good side started gaining back power. Both sides rule, even in the same city. It is a very dangerous place. This guy is a major part of the good side. I go with him on a nightly patrol. They patrol to try and keep peace within the people. We are walking on a dark street and we hear screaming in a house. He tells me to stay out on the street. This is when I leave my body and go inside the house; I believe it is called astral projection. I watch him enter the now silent house. “Hello? Anyone home?” He calls softly. There is a man with a knife behind the door. I want to cry out to him, tell him that there is danger, but I cannot. They fight, wrestling around. The guy gets stabbed. I watch, silent, horrified. He gets the man with the knife under control. There comes a little girl, crying. It is now that I re-enter my body and I am actually in the house. Then, there’s a young boy, about 8, crying. His arms are slashed, on the tops, many, many times, and he is still bleeding, some slashes are scabbed over. I tell him it’s okay, and show him my own arms, because they are also slashed several times. He stops crying.

  
  

  Then we jump through time and we are at a book/movie rental place. I am doing homework at the edge of a counter. I ask him why he’s standing so far away. He moves closer, curls his arm around my waist and leans down next to me. He kisses my neck and it is now that I realize I am in love with him. It is his turn and he rents his things. Then he leaves for awhile. I want to rent a book that looks good. I don’t have an account there. The man behind the counter asks me what my DOB is. I say I can’t remember. I can see the screen and he is looking at Dirk’s account (the guy’s name, I wasn’t allowed to know his name, but I recognize his picture). I’m horrified, sick to my stomach, scared. They grab me and take me prisoner, for they knew I was with Dirk. They take me to a room, where they also have Dirk as a prisoner. I’m sobbing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I say over and over again. He smiles and says, “It’s okay.” Then they chop his head off. I scream, and they move to me, but I wake up before they can kill me.

  
  

  This dream terrifies me. And there may be a few parts that I forgot or got wrong…I don’t know.

  • 11:40 am
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