January 11, 2004
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But it is just more than my childhood that screws me up. I’m quite sure that it has something to do with the fact that I feel so unloved by everyone around me, and it just goes so deep. When I cry, I not only think about my past, but also the present. Things aren’t any better than they used to be. My mind moves all over the place emotionally, even though I’ve stopped moving all over physically. It feels the same now as it did then…only now, I know things that I do not want to know. So many times I wish that I was little again, so that I didn’t know anything…aah, “Ignorance is bliss.” But it’s these same things that I know now that makes me the strong person that I am now. If I wasn’t so strong, I’d be dead by now, long gone in the ground. But now I don’t want the “easy” way out. I want the struggle. I want that struggle… to be succesful, to be happy. I want to wake up one day, look in the mirror and smile, and say, I did it. And to me, being succesful is not being rich and powerful, no. It’s being happy with what you’re doing, knowing that you’re doing the right thing with your life. What’s right for you. Some day, that’ll be me.
Comments (1)
I agree totally with your definition of success, although I would add that it involves having quality relationships in your life, where you get enrichment from and enrich the lives of others around you. Ideally, a mate and children, but for some people that is not possible, so concentrate on the people you have.