It's been a very long time since I've written a RE post..but I read
this one by
@Xcite_Media, and to be honest I got kind of irritated. Everyone's entitled to their opinions, but I think there are some fundamental things wrong with this.
There's more to love than being physical, so much more. I don't think you can truly appreciate or value someone unless you know their mind. Know their thoughts, what they think, how they feel about things. It's important to know what they value, what they think is important. How can you truly love someone for who they are unless you know these things? And how do you find them out? By talking. Lots and lots and lots of talking. Talking about everything, in a depth that you rarely share with anyone else. Telling someone your deepest thoughts. You can do this over the internet. Texting, calling, Skype, Yahoo, you name it...there's so many ways to communicate.
I think that people greatly undervalue this aspect. This is why people don't work out as a couple. People get so wrapped up in the physical and sex, they don't pay attention to the most important part of it all. How can you live with someone if you don't communicate? It's important to know if you're even of compatible MINDS before you get physical with each other. Otherwise, what's the point? To satisfy a sexual, physical urge? What's the value in that? I think that's the wrong way to go about it.
Don't get me wrong, sex is important too. If you're long distance, there's sexting and phone sex until you meet. But I think it's less important than getting to know someone in the deepest of ways. Yes, it is possible to fall in love over the internet. I don't fall in love with the physicality of a person. I fall in love with their mind, the way they think, their thoughts, their intellect. I could be physically attracted to someone, but I could never be with someone who's on a lower level than I am intellectually. I just couldn't. I need stimulating and engaging conversation. That's what I fall in love with. And, I've fallen in love that way both over the internet and in person. Sexual attraction is important...but if you have it while you're having phone sex and sexting, it will be there in person.
I have known many couples who have fallen in love over the internet and they are still together. My uncle met his wife over the internet about 12-14 years ago and they are still together, with 2 kids. Kylie and Fred met on Xanga, and they are still together, for 5-6 years now, happily married, with a child on the way. Summer and Jim met on Xanga, they are engaged and they have a child on the way.
If you think love over the internet is merely expressed by emotes, you're sadly mistaken. There's a deeper communication there than you could ever imagine. There's something about getting to know people a lot more before you have sex, and I think more people should do it. I think there would be a lot less heartbreak in the world.
Comments (54)
Internet love is no more out there then the romance of Robert, and Elizabeth Barrett Browning....who fell in love through letters...sight unseen. They are counted among the great romances of letters...just saying.
Totally agree with everything you've said here. I can't think of a possible thing to add to this :)
Excellent post :)
It could still happen to me, so Internet love is not something to be discounted- but eventually, there will be a face-to-face meeting.
To m,e internet love isn't something you have a choice in beliving, if you found that match som ewhere. It's a hard thingto do, but it's not like all of your potential ones are going to live right near you. Why do you think some people find good love moving elsewhere? It's a matter of chance.
Agree 100%. (:
I wouldn't CHOOSE to find someone on the internet,
My hubster. 2 year (dating) anniversary is February 14. He's an absolute genius and I've never met anyone more perfect. Before we met, we both felt that it was weird that we were kind of talking but had never been face to face (because we're realists.) But, you can't stop love.but I did.
We started off as pen-pals and didn't begin to talk every day through Oovoo until he was deployed.I think the people who search for such a relationship are a little strange. It's no fun being far away from someone. It's so much easier to asses someone when they're in front of you (usually.)But, if it happens, it happens.
My family loves him and I plan on going to Korea with him in a year or two to meet his.
Someone I'm falling in love right now is from the internet (': (':
I don't think it's entirely impossible, but I see the room for dishonesty when it comes to any type of internet relationship.
Ahh, I agree completely. I'm still busy pondering this deeper in my life at the moment, but at the moment, my best and only friend is on the internet and it's allowed us to actually know each other. All we can do is talk. It's funny, because [unlike me] she has actual friends and has always said that it's different because they don't actually know her like I do.
Anyway, good show!
Works for some, not for others. I am quite leery myself. The thing is, people on the internet can be very shady, and one may not know that until meeting them and knowing who they are.
Kudos to those, who have had great experiences with it =) Things work out for different reasons!It happened for me once...I hope it happens again.
Terrific post.
Amen to all your words.
Sex is important but not everything.
excellent post
I've have no problem with internet love/relationship. Actually I enjoy every minute of it. Enjoy it very much. During workdays we normally start FB chat/ Video-Skype at 7pm till midnight - sometimes until 2am with half an hour or one hour breaks every now and then. During weekends we normally start chat/Skype around 2pm till midnight, and sometimes until next morning. The beauty of video conversation/Skype, I've chance to chat with his whole family as well. I think internet love/relationship is a great way to get to know each other better.
@RestlessButterfly - I guess you forgot about your own Iban custom of courting :
http://sexiness-is-an-attitude.xanga.com/767358616/ngayap--iban-way-of-courting/
I agree with you. As you know, I met my boyfriend online and next month will be seven years for us. It definitely possible to meet someone online and fall in love.
@fabolousclown - Go for it Amalia.
Very well written and thought out. I agree with every word you wrote.
@RestlessButterfly - Hi you, oh gorgeous one
@Sexiness_is_an_attitude - I thought you said you're Iban girl. If you're really an Iban girl you should know 'Ngayap' is just a piece of Iban history. Iban people stopped doing that long before you and me existed. Iban people stopped 'ngayap' 30, 40 years ago.
Well, I guess your jealousy blinded you. Stop being jealous of others happiness. I warned you and your gang to stop harassing me.
Nothing sexy about your attitude. Your attitude is ugly. You have no respect to others. I told you and your friends to leave me ALONE countless times!
I know what are you trying to do. You have nothing to blogging about right now and decided to harassing me, so that when I respond to your harassment, you can blogging about me. Cheap trick. Out-of-date too. You guys doing it to me and to other bloggers since 2009.
And do not use this reply to create a blog about me. If you have nothing reply to say/write, shut up your mouth.
@Sexiness_is_an_attitude - Next time read more and do your research before decided to open your mouth.
http://www.reference.com/browse/ngayap
http://purpleibangirl.blogspot.com/search/label/adat%20iban
@Sexiness_is_an_attitude - Read this and leave me alone forever. Jealous of other people happiness won't bring you any good.
http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=ms&tl=en&u=http%3A%2F%2Fms.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FNgayap