I may or may not be the only person that feels this way, but to me, it's just plain WEIRD and uncomfortable when your family starts talking about sex and Fifty Shades of Grey. I do not want to know that my family members are reading those books...
I was at dinner with my sister Rachel, my mother, my aunt and her boyfriend, and my grandparents last night. So they start talking about Fifty Shades... *facepalm* My grandma tells me that my novel isn't any good unless there's lots of good, steamy sex.
Then my aunt asks me if I've ever been in a sex toy store
And my mom says that ever since she's read the books, my step father will randomly give her a good smack on the ass
Then she tells my aunt's boyfriend that if he reads the books, he will go to the adult toy store and buy a flogger. My mother, my aunt, and my sister have read the books. My grandmother wants to read them.
Since we were sitting in a restaurant, I couldn't exactly spout off about how horrible the books are and that they grossly misrepresent the lifestyle. My grandma said that I need to do lots and lots of research to write my novel. I said, "I don't really need to do any research. I already know what a violet wand is." Everyone looks at me and goes, what is that? "It's an electric wand, about this long (using my hands to gesture), that you use to poke your submissive to electrocute them," I say. "Why would you do that?" My aunt asks. "It provides stimulation." My aunt says, "Oh my," and covers her mouth with her hand.
I just never, ever want to go through this again. It was horrible...and my sister didn't contribute to the conversation at all...so she was just as mortified as I was. Thankfully, the conversation soon passed onto other topics, but still....
Comments (39)
Wow, talk about dinner conversations with family! I think I would have walked away lol.
I've heard that the level of writing in these grey thingys is appallingly bad. I'm too busy for personal... investigation.
I get flustered when people talk about sex in public. I would've went to hide in the bathroom
o_O Yeah I understand where you'e coming from.
My Grandma asked what the book was about and I almost died.
I am so thankful I haven't had conversations like that with my family.
OMG I can't believe your GRANDMA said that! Oh that's all so awkward haha
In a Restaurant? No thanks.
You have one interesting family. lol
OMG
I'd die of embarrassment....Mom gave me 'The Talk' last year on my 14th birthday..and she didn't talk about sex...she also talked about the M word...you know...by your self....OMGShe asked me if I've seen a penis yet .OMGI had JUST turned 14 !!!!! It was on my 14th BIRTHDAY !!!!What kind of daughter does she think I am (....don't answer that).WORST. BIRTHDAY.EVER....Srsly?
Wow. You have a weird family. Welcome to the club.
Haha, I'd make everyone else so awkward they'd stop talking about it immediately, that's how I deal with that kind of thing. Speaking of which, I'd love it if you participated in the newest prompt over at PallidPen.xanga.com because I think you would do really good with it ;)
Sooo awkward. Makes me glad my mom doesn't read.
I think it's healthy when a family talks about sex. What makes it so uncomfortable is that it's never done.
I think you should all go see Hope Springs
I would have been embarassed too, but this made me giggle! lol Oh man...
I will discuss sex online, but in polite company, I also will not talk about sex, or porn, or anything else like that. Unless I'm making jokes. That's somewhat different. I think it has nothing to do with being uncomfortable, I just like to keep my private life private.
Never read it (them?), don't care to.
My family is pretty open, so it's whatever. Conversations like that don't phase me much.
I know this isn't a funny post, but imagining my own grandma and aunt having that conversation or reading those books... Anyway, this brought a huge smile to me today, just when I needed it. Thank you!
ew. I couldn't agree more. I don't want to talk about sex with my parents or my grandparents or my kids (unfortunately, since you're supposed to have "talks" with the kids). I don't even like to talk about sex with my sister, because she always comes out with some unexpected TMI that makes me picture my BIL and EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWw.
My grandmother recently told me about some of her sexual exploits, including the number of men she'd slept with, her record for one day, the best one, the biggest age difference, and who currently has her list of conquests and is keeping it safe for her so her husband doesn't stumble across it and feel bad.
Luckily, she told me all this in the privacy of her home, while her husband was gone. If it had been at dinner in public, I would've died.
I'm glad you survived. Sorry about the awkwardness. I haven't read 50 Shades of Gray. I heard it started out as Twilight fanfic and that pretty much did it in for me.
Lol sorry for the convo, but i love the books. They have a lot of sex, but I think the plot in the second and last are really good. Better when they are actually together I think. Plus, it opened me up to a lot of things that led to my first orgasm. :)
ROFL. I am sorry. I don't mean to laugh, but that was funny. At least your family is not completely sexually repressed. My mom thinks anything that is not missionary is dirty.